Skeleton Jokes

Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
A: No body
Q: What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
A: Bone appetit !
Q: When does a skeleton laugh?
A: When something tickles his funny bone.
Q: Why didn't the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
A: It had no body to dance with.
Q: What type of art do skeletons like?
A: Skull tures
Q: What did the skeleton say when his brother told a lie?
A: You can't fool me, I can see right through you.
Q: What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
A: I'm bone to be wild!
Q: Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?
A: He had no body to dance with.
Q: What do you give a skeleton for valentine's day?
A: Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.
Q: Who was the most famous skeleton detective?
A: Sherlock Bones.
Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton?
A: Napoleon bone-apart
Q: What instrument do skeletons play?
A: Trom-BONE.
Q: What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?
A: Spare ribs!!!
Q: When does a skeleton laugh?
A: When something tickles his funny bone.
Q: Why didn't the skeleton eat the cafeteria food?
A: Because he didn't have the stomach for it!
Q: Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn't have the guts.
Q: Why are skeletons usually so calm ?
A: Nothing gets under their skin !
Q: Why do skeletons hate winter?
A: Beacuse the cold goes right through them !
Q: Why are graveyards so noisy ?
A: Beacause of all the coffin !
Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party ?
A: He had no body to go with !
Q: What happened when the skeletons rode pogo sticks ?
A: They had a rattling good time !
Q: Why did the skeleton go to hospital ?
A: To have his ghoul stones removed !
Q: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain ?
A: He could feel it in his bones !
Q: What's a skeleton's favourite musical instrument ?
A: A trom-bone !
Q: How do skeletons call their friends ?
A: On the telebone !
Q: What do you call a skeleton who won't get up in the mornings ?
A: Lazy bones !
Q: What do boney people use to get into their homes ?
A: Skeleton keys !
Q: What do you call a skeleton who acts in Westerns ?
A: Skint Eastwood !
Q: What happened to the boat that sank in the sea full of piranha fish ?
A: It came back with a skeleton crew !
Q: What do you call a skeleton snake ?
A: A rattler !
Q: What is a skeletons like to drink milk ?
A: Milk - it's so good for the bones !
Q: Why did the skeleton stay out in the snow all night ?
A: He was a numbskull !
Q: What do you call a stupid skeleton ?
A: Bonehead !
Q: What happened to the skeleton who stayed by the fire too long ?
A: He became bone dry !
Q: What happened to the lazy skeleton ?
A: He was bone idle !
Q: Why did the skeleton pupil stay late at school ?
A: He was boning up for his exams !
Q: What sort of soup do skeletons like ?
A: One with plenty of body in it !
Q: Why did the skeleton run up a tree ?
A: Because a dog was after his bones !
Q: What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend ?
A: I love every bone in your body !
Q: Why wasn't the naughty skeleton afraid of the police ?
A: Because he knew they couldn't pin anything on him !
Q: How do skeletons get their mail ?
A: By bony express !
Q: Why don't skeletons play music in church ?
A: They have no organs !
Q: What kind of plate does a skeleton eat off ?
A: Bone china !
Q: Why do skeletons hate winter ?
A: Because the wind just goes straight through them !
Q: What's a skeleton's favourite pop group ?
A: Boney M !
Q: What do you do if you see a skeleton running across a road ?
A: Jump out of your skin and join him !
Q: What did the old skeleton complain of ?
A: Aching bones !
Q: What is a skeleton ?
A: Somebody on a diet who forgot to say "when" !
Q: What happened to the skeleton that was attacked by a dog ?
A: He ran off with some bones and didn't leave him with a leg to stand on !
Q: Why are skeletons so calm ?
A: Because nothing gets under their skin !
Q: What do you call a skeleton that is always telling lies ?
A: A boney phoney !
Q: Why didn't the skeleton want to play football ?
A: Because his heart wasn't in it !
Q: What happened to the skeleton who went to a party ?
A: All the others used him as a coat rack !
Q: What do you call a skeleton who presses the door bell ?
A: A dead ringer !
Q: When does a skeleton laugh?
A: When something tickles his funny bone.
Q: How did skeletons send their letters in the old days?
A: By bony express!
Q: How do you make a skeleton laugh?
A: Tickle his funny bone!