An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty.
He asks one of his new students to stand and.....
Prof: So you believe in God?
Student:Absolutely, sir.
Prof : Is God good?
Student:Sure.
Prof:Is God all-powerful?
Student : Yes.
Prof:My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him.
Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?
(Student is silent.)
Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?
Student:Yes.
Prof: Is Satan good?
Student : No.
Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Student:From...God.. .
Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student:Yes.
Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student:Yes.
Prof: So who created evil?
(Student does not answer.)
Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student: Yes, sir.
Prof: So, who created them?
(Student has no answer.)
Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you.
Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.
Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student:No, sir.
Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student:No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student:Yes.
Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist.
What do you say to that, son?
Student:Nothing. I only have my faith.
Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.
Student:Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.
Student: And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.
Student:No sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat.
But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go
any further after that.
There is no such thing as cold . Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat .
We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy . Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)
Student:What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
Student :You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright
light, flashing light....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In
reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?
Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student:Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor.Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)
Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class is in uproar.)
Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)
Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain,sir.
With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable. )
Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student: That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH . That is all that keeps things moving & alive.
NB: I believe you have enjoyed the conversation. .and if so...you'll probably want your friends/colleagues to enjoy the same...won't you?....
this is a true story, and the
student was none other than........ .
APJ Abdul Kalam, the former president of India .
Friday, December 30, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
Fake iPhone 4 vs The Real iPhone 4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s453MoRSdrA
Fake Iphone4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1F7RfPubZO8&feature=related
Fake Iphone4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1F7RfPubZO8&feature=related
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
"Negative Ions Heal Humans"
"Negative Ions Heal Humans"
When a baby is born (and you were once a baby) its body is composed of 80% Negative Ions. As you age your Negative Ion concentration becomes lower and lower due to bad diet,lack of exercise,stress, your environment,etc. This makes you more and more susceptible to disease. Positive Ions support disease as they strongly contribute to Acidosis within the body. Negative Ions return the body to its normal chemical state ( a blood ph of 7.0 to 7.3) which is an Alkaline chemistry. More than 95% of people worldwide (98% in America) have an Acidic blood pH.
Humans are supposed to breathe air that has 1,500 Negative Ions per cubic centimeter of air. Most homes have 400, outdoors has 700 to 800, office buildings have 500 down to as few as 50.
When you go to the park you're getting 5,000 Negative Ions per cubic centimeter and 10,000 at the beach. The real treat is to visit waterfalls. They have 92,000 to 450,000 Negative Ions per cc of air.All this is good news but you can't carry the park,beach or waterfalls around with you. You need a constant, portable supply of Negative Ions.You need this suppy because if you live more than 1 mile from the beach you live (sleep, work,play,etc.) in a "Sea" of Positive Ions. Remember Positive Ions are those white sparks everbody has experienced when they took a sweater( or any piece of clothing made of synthetic material) out of the clothes-dryer and got shocked.
We all know of one type of Negative Ion, the highly publicised Antioxidants.
These Negative Ions rid the body of " Free Radicals". Free Radicals are atoms or molecules that have lost one or more electrons (resulting in their having a positive charge) and do as their name implies... their actions are "Radical" and they move about "Freely" throughout the body...creating havoc in body tissue.
Negative Ions are attached to oxygen atoms and bring this neessary
oxygen to the cells and tissues of our bodies. Oxygen circulating thru the
brain can ward off or cure diseases like Alzheimer's,Dimentia and Parkinson's.
http://www.instantblogsubscribers.com/?w=natturner
When a baby is born (and you were once a baby) its body is composed of 80% Negative Ions. As you age your Negative Ion concentration becomes lower and lower due to bad diet,lack of exercise,stress, your environment,etc. This makes you more and more susceptible to disease. Positive Ions support disease as they strongly contribute to Acidosis within the body. Negative Ions return the body to its normal chemical state ( a blood ph of 7.0 to 7.3) which is an Alkaline chemistry. More than 95% of people worldwide (98% in America) have an Acidic blood pH.
Humans are supposed to breathe air that has 1,500 Negative Ions per cubic centimeter of air. Most homes have 400, outdoors has 700 to 800, office buildings have 500 down to as few as 50.
When you go to the park you're getting 5,000 Negative Ions per cubic centimeter and 10,000 at the beach. The real treat is to visit waterfalls. They have 92,000 to 450,000 Negative Ions per cc of air.All this is good news but you can't carry the park,beach or waterfalls around with you. You need a constant, portable supply of Negative Ions.You need this suppy because if you live more than 1 mile from the beach you live (sleep, work,play,etc.) in a "Sea" of Positive Ions. Remember Positive Ions are those white sparks everbody has experienced when they took a sweater( or any piece of clothing made of synthetic material) out of the clothes-dryer and got shocked.
We all know of one type of Negative Ion, the highly publicised Antioxidants.
These Negative Ions rid the body of " Free Radicals". Free Radicals are atoms or molecules that have lost one or more electrons (resulting in their having a positive charge) and do as their name implies... their actions are "Radical" and they move about "Freely" throughout the body...creating havoc in body tissue.
Negative Ions are attached to oxygen atoms and bring this neessary
oxygen to the cells and tissues of our bodies. Oxygen circulating thru the
brain can ward off or cure diseases like Alzheimer's,Dimentia and Parkinson's.
http://www.instantblogsubscribers.com/?w=natturner
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Bad word starts with "A"
anus - butt
arse - butt
arsehole - butt
ass - butt
ass-hat - idiot
ass-jabber - homosexual
ass-pirate - homosexual
assbag - idiot
assbandit - homosexual
assbanger - homosexual
assbite - idiot
assclown - butt
asscock - idiot
asscracker - butt
asses - butts
assface - butt
assfuck - rear-loving
assfucker - homosexual
assgoblin - homosexual
asshat - butt
asshead - idiot
asshole - jerk
asshopper - homosexual
assjacker - homosexual
asslick - idiot
asslicker - Buttlicker
assmonkey - idiot
assmunch - idiot
assmuncher - butt
assnigger - Racial Slur
asspirate - homosexual
assshit - idiot
assshole - butt
asssucker - idiot
asswad - butt
asswipe - butt
axwound - female genitalia
arse - butt
arsehole - butt
ass - butt
ass-hat - idiot
ass-jabber - homosexual
ass-pirate - homosexual
assbag - idiot
assbandit - homosexual
assbanger - homosexual
assbite - idiot
assclown - butt
asscock - idiot
asscracker - butt
asses - butts
assface - butt
assfuck - rear-loving
assfucker - homosexual
assgoblin - homosexual
asshat - butt
asshead - idiot
asshole - jerk
asshopper - homosexual
assjacker - homosexual
asslick - idiot
asslicker - Buttlicker
assmonkey - idiot
assmunch - idiot
assmuncher - butt
assnigger - Racial Slur
asspirate - homosexual
assshit - idiot
assshole - butt
asssucker - idiot
asswad - butt
asswipe - butt
axwound - female genitalia
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Why Life Originated
Why Life Originated (And Why it Continues)
December 9, 2008 By Lisa Zyga
(PhysOrg.com) -- Today, scientists understand pretty well how life evolves, by mechanisms based on Darwin’s theory of natural selection for survival of the fittest. However, Darwin’s 1859 classic, On the Origin of Species, somewhat ironically doesn’t answer that very question – how species actually originated. And to this day, how that first tiny pool of chemicals twitched to life remains a puzzle.
In a recent study called “Why did life emerge?”, two scientists, son and father Arto Annila of the University of Helsinki and Erkki Annila of the Finnish Forest Research Institute, offer some insight into the general driving force of life’s origins in terms of thermodynamics. As they explain, all organisms are composed of molecules that assemble together via numerous chemical reactions. Just as heat flows from hot to cold, these molecules obey the universal tendency to diminish energy differences, so that the most likely chemical reactions are those in which energy flows “downhill” toward a stationary state, or chemical equilibrium.
Although the researchers don’t speculate on the specific chemical reactions that created life, they explain that the molecules involved most likely underwent a series of more and more complex reactions to minimize mutual energy differences between matter on Earth and with respect to high-energy radiation from Sun. The process eventually advanced so far that it cumulated into such sophisticated functional structures that could be called living.
“The most important idea in our study is that there is no distinction between animate and inanimate,” Arto Annila told PhysOrg.com. “Processes of life are, in their principles, no different from any other natural processes.”
In their study, which is published in the International Journal of Astrobiology, the researchers considered a primordial pool that contained some basic compounds. By reacting with one another and coupling with an external energy source such as the Sun, the compounds formed a chemical system. The compounds continually engaged in chemical reactions, thriving the most when capturing and distributing more and more of the Sun’s energy in the quest for a steady state. The evolutionary process was and still is non-deterministic, even chaotic, since the energy flows create energy differences that in turn affect the flows.
Due to random variations stemming from the chemical reactions, some novel compounds may have emerged in the primordial system. Some of these compounds (such as those involving carbon) might have been exceptionally good at creating energy flow, enabling the system to diminish energy differences very efficiently and reach a higher level of entropy. Compounds with these advantages would have gained ground during this period of primitive chemical evolution. But the scientists emphasize that identifying which exact compounds were key players during this period would be very difficult to determine.
“Today we may have only very little evidence left from the courses in the very distant past to deduce which chemical species went extinct, while others, more viable in energy transduction, emerged,” Arto Annila explained. In other words, this study focuses on why life emerged, not how.
What is more relevant, the scientists note, is the fact that the physical tendency to diminish energy differences makes no distinction between systems that are inanimate or animate. As the researchers explain, the order and complexity that characterize modern biological systems have no value in and of themselves, but structure and hierarchical organization emerged and developed because they provided paths for increasing energy flows.
The scientists give several examples of mechanisms associated with life that increase entropy. For instance, when systems (e.g. molecules) become entities of larger systems (e.g. cells) that participate in larger ranges of interactions to consume more free energy, entropy increases. Genetic code might have served as another primordial mechanism, acting as a catalyst that could increase energy flow toward greater entropy. Today, complex organisms have cellular metabolism, which is another mechanism that increases entropy, as it disperses energy throughout the organism and into the environment. The food chain in an ecosystem is another example of a mechanism for transferring energy on a larger scale.
In this sense, life is a very natural thing, which emerged simply to satisfy basic physical laws. Our “purpose,” so to speak, is to redistribute energy on the Earth, which is in between a huge potential energy difference caused by the hot Sun and cold space. Organisms evolve via natural selection, but at the most basic level, natural selection is driven by the same thermodynamic principle: increasing entropy and decreasing energy differences. The natural processes from which life emerged, then, are the same processes that keep life going – and they operate on all timescales.
“According to thermodynamics, there was no striking moment or no single specific locus for life to originate, but the natural process has been advancing by a long sequence of steps via numerous mechanisms so far reaching a specific meaning – life,” the researchers explained.
And because thermodynamics recognizes no specific moment, particular place, compound or reaction that would distinguish animate from inanimate, a search for ‘the birth of life’ seems like an ill-posed project, Arto Annila explained.
“Indeed, the quest for the origin of life seems a futile endeavor because life in its entirety is a natural process that has, according to the second law of thermodynamics, no definite beginning,” he said. “To ask how life started would be the same as to ask when and where did the first wind blow that quivered the surface of a warm pond.”
More information: Annila, Arto and Annila, Erkki. “Why did life emerge?” International Journal of Astrobiology 7 (3 & 4 ): 293-300 (2008).
Copyright 2008 PhysOrg.com.
All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed in whole or part without the express written permission of PhysOrg.com.
http://www.physorg.com/news148050302.html
December 9, 2008 By Lisa Zyga
(PhysOrg.com) -- Today, scientists understand pretty well how life evolves, by mechanisms based on Darwin’s theory of natural selection for survival of the fittest. However, Darwin’s 1859 classic, On the Origin of Species, somewhat ironically doesn’t answer that very question – how species actually originated. And to this day, how that first tiny pool of chemicals twitched to life remains a puzzle.
In a recent study called “Why did life emerge?”, two scientists, son and father Arto Annila of the University of Helsinki and Erkki Annila of the Finnish Forest Research Institute, offer some insight into the general driving force of life’s origins in terms of thermodynamics. As they explain, all organisms are composed of molecules that assemble together via numerous chemical reactions. Just as heat flows from hot to cold, these molecules obey the universal tendency to diminish energy differences, so that the most likely chemical reactions are those in which energy flows “downhill” toward a stationary state, or chemical equilibrium.
Although the researchers don’t speculate on the specific chemical reactions that created life, they explain that the molecules involved most likely underwent a series of more and more complex reactions to minimize mutual energy differences between matter on Earth and with respect to high-energy radiation from Sun. The process eventually advanced so far that it cumulated into such sophisticated functional structures that could be called living.
“The most important idea in our study is that there is no distinction between animate and inanimate,” Arto Annila told PhysOrg.com. “Processes of life are, in their principles, no different from any other natural processes.”
In their study, which is published in the International Journal of Astrobiology, the researchers considered a primordial pool that contained some basic compounds. By reacting with one another and coupling with an external energy source such as the Sun, the compounds formed a chemical system. The compounds continually engaged in chemical reactions, thriving the most when capturing and distributing more and more of the Sun’s energy in the quest for a steady state. The evolutionary process was and still is non-deterministic, even chaotic, since the energy flows create energy differences that in turn affect the flows.
Due to random variations stemming from the chemical reactions, some novel compounds may have emerged in the primordial system. Some of these compounds (such as those involving carbon) might have been exceptionally good at creating energy flow, enabling the system to diminish energy differences very efficiently and reach a higher level of entropy. Compounds with these advantages would have gained ground during this period of primitive chemical evolution. But the scientists emphasize that identifying which exact compounds were key players during this period would be very difficult to determine.
“Today we may have only very little evidence left from the courses in the very distant past to deduce which chemical species went extinct, while others, more viable in energy transduction, emerged,” Arto Annila explained. In other words, this study focuses on why life emerged, not how.
What is more relevant, the scientists note, is the fact that the physical tendency to diminish energy differences makes no distinction between systems that are inanimate or animate. As the researchers explain, the order and complexity that characterize modern biological systems have no value in and of themselves, but structure and hierarchical organization emerged and developed because they provided paths for increasing energy flows.
The scientists give several examples of mechanisms associated with life that increase entropy. For instance, when systems (e.g. molecules) become entities of larger systems (e.g. cells) that participate in larger ranges of interactions to consume more free energy, entropy increases. Genetic code might have served as another primordial mechanism, acting as a catalyst that could increase energy flow toward greater entropy. Today, complex organisms have cellular metabolism, which is another mechanism that increases entropy, as it disperses energy throughout the organism and into the environment. The food chain in an ecosystem is another example of a mechanism for transferring energy on a larger scale.
In this sense, life is a very natural thing, which emerged simply to satisfy basic physical laws. Our “purpose,” so to speak, is to redistribute energy on the Earth, which is in between a huge potential energy difference caused by the hot Sun and cold space. Organisms evolve via natural selection, but at the most basic level, natural selection is driven by the same thermodynamic principle: increasing entropy and decreasing energy differences. The natural processes from which life emerged, then, are the same processes that keep life going – and they operate on all timescales.
“According to thermodynamics, there was no striking moment or no single specific locus for life to originate, but the natural process has been advancing by a long sequence of steps via numerous mechanisms so far reaching a specific meaning – life,” the researchers explained.
And because thermodynamics recognizes no specific moment, particular place, compound or reaction that would distinguish animate from inanimate, a search for ‘the birth of life’ seems like an ill-posed project, Arto Annila explained.
“Indeed, the quest for the origin of life seems a futile endeavor because life in its entirety is a natural process that has, according to the second law of thermodynamics, no definite beginning,” he said. “To ask how life started would be the same as to ask when and where did the first wind blow that quivered the surface of a warm pond.”
More information: Annila, Arto and Annila, Erkki. “Why did life emerge?” International Journal of Astrobiology 7 (3 & 4 ): 293-300 (2008).
Copyright 2008 PhysOrg.com.
All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed in whole or part without the express written permission of PhysOrg.com.
http://www.physorg.com/news148050302.html
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Derwinism: Not Representing Your Woman to the Fullest
Derwinism: Not Representing Your Woman to the Fullest
"Why is she going to a medical seminar"? "She's not even a real doctor". "Well, she is a real doctor, she's just not practicing". "Are you defending her in my house"? "No, I'm not defending her, I'm just clarifying". "Ok, she likes to pretend, pass the scalpel". (Insert laughter) This was the conversation between characters Janay and Derwin on the BET's hit tv show, The Game. For those of you not familiar with the television series, The Game is a "dramedy" that is centered around a professional football team. The "dramedy" focuses on the players on the team and the women in their lives. The main characters of the show, Melanie and Derwin were just recently married after a tumultous relationship including Derwin getting another woman pregnant while the two were separated briefly. The conversation above took place between Derwin and his "baby mama", Janay. For obvious reasons, Derwin's wife Melanie and Janay do not get along, hence Janay's snide remark about Melanie not being a "real doctor". Instead of Derwin taking up for his wife, what does he do? He makes fun of her or as I like to say "played her to the left" just to appease his "baby mama". He does not defend his wife but instead displays a classic case of what I like to call "Derwinism: Not Representing Your Woman To The Fullest.
As I'm watching this scene unfold, I immediately get mad as if this show is "real life". After I tell myself to calm down because it's only a t.v. show, that's when I realized that the reason I got mad is because that has happened to me! If I had a nickel for every time a boyfriend played me to the left for some insignificant chick then I would be a millionaire. It really pisses me off when men don't have the cojones to put a woman in check that is disrespecting your woman. I look at it as though you're not representing your woman at all times. There are three "situations" in which some men will not "represent" their woman in the presence of other females especially when that "other" female does not like their girlfriend/wife.
1). Making fun of your girlfriend to make yourself look better...
This situation is exactly what Derwin did in The Game episode. He let Janay intimidate him with the question of "Are you defending her in my house"? Instead of taking up for his wife and clearly stating that she is a doctor, what does he do? He takes the bitch ass way out and "plays" his wife to the left, just to appease his "baby mama". He does it so he can make Janay secure and so that he can feel better about himself knowing that he is not trying to make Janay uncomfortable by "defending" Melanie. If you're a man who cannot EVEN defend your wife/girlfriend then what are you doing in a relationship? Derwin should have been a MAN and stood up to Janay and put her in her place by letting her know that Melanie is his WIFE and that he won't tolerate any snide remarks about her. I guarantee you if he had put Janay in her place then she would have retreated like a bad puppy who just got bopped on the nose for peeing on the floor.
2). When men let other women talk shit about his girlfriend/wife in his presence
This situation right here has happened to me more times than I can count but I will start with the first time I ever encountered it. I was dating this guy when I was a freshman in high school and we were surely an "odd" couple. The type of couple that no one would have EVER guessed that would've started dating. We had been going out for about a month and I realized that one of his "girl" friends did not like me and would constantly talk shit about me to him. Of course when I confronted him, I asked him why he did let her talk shit about me in his presence and do you know that this fool had the NERVE to say "I don't know"! I was only fifteen then but I had enough sense to know that that wasn't right. I was absolutely floored that he wouldn't stand up for me! What some men don't understand is, that who you are in a relationship with is a reflection of yourself. So therefore in theory, if this heifer was talking shit about me, then in essence she was talking about him! He definitely was not representing me or having my back when it came to her. Needless to say, a month, later, we were done.
3). Being too nice to an ex when you're in a new relationship
I have also dealt with this situaton more times than I can count as well. You know how it goes, ladies. You get into a new relationship with a man and everything is going well and then BOOM! His ex or the girl that he used to date before you, pops up out of nowhere and tries to get in where she DON'T fit in. The relationship is fairly new so at this point, he wants to be open and honest and tells you that she contacted him. Now this is the part where I struggle, I want to tell him what to do and how to handle the situation but at the same time, I feel like I'm at the age now where I shouldn't have to tell him how to handle the situation, he should just know! Well, here's the problem ladies, more than likely, he's not going to handle it how you think he SHOULD handle it. Most men say that they will ignore her and eventually she'll get the hint and stop contacting him. Well, some women will, and some won't. In the event, that she doesn't get the hint, the man then needs to tell her that he is in a relationship and that she doesn't need to contact him anymore. However, most men are not going to say "Look, bitch, stop calling and texting me". Most men are going to try and be nice and say "I'm sorry but I've met someone else, I don't mean to hurt you, it just happened".
So ladies, you're puzzled at his response because everyone knows that when you're nice to THAT type of woman that she thinks you're leaving the door cracked open so she can sneak her big toe in. She's the type of woman who calls a man and asks him why he stopped talking to her? "Where they do that at"? Clearly not from where I'm from! So you ask him, why were you so nice to her? And he responds "Well, I didn't want to be mean and hurt her feelings"! You have got to be freaking kidding me! So let me get this straight, you didn't want to hurt her feelings now that you had to tell her that you were in a new relationship but before when you two were dating, you told her that you didn't want to be in a relationship and you just stopped talking to her cold turkey?! GTFOH...Where was all this concern at before? Bottom line is, is that these men feel guilty about their actions toward their ex's and they feel as though they need to coddle them. But forget them! Their feelings don't matter, the only person who's feelings matter, are yours! Because at the end of the day, who's "really" going to have his back? You are! Umm...it's great that these men have a conscience but in the words of rapper Positive K "What that got to do with me"?
What men do not understand is that the new "woman" wants to feel REPRESENTED and by them being nice to an ex and feeling like they have to explain what is going on, the "new woman" wonders if there is a reason why he is being so nice to her? Fellas, let me tell you, when a woman gets in a new relationship, she has "NO PROBLEM" telling her ex's that she has found someone else and to please stop contacting her. She may not be rude about it but she will damn sure be direct because we as women "LOVE" and "WANT" to represent our men. However, men only tiptoe around a woman's feelings when it is convenient for them. Instead of being nice, here is how the conversation should go...
Ex Chick: Why haven't you been returning my calls? Why have you stopped talking to me?
Dude: First off, I'm in a new relationship and I would appreciate it if you would stop calling and texting especially at this late hour when I am trying to chill with my lady
Ex Chick: Well, what makes her so special? You told me that you didn't want to be a relationship?
Dude: Let me stop you right there...I'm in a new relationship and I wish you well. I don't have any hard feelings or ill will towards you. Have a good night.
And that's how you HARD-BODY that type of situation. It was straight to the point and the man represented his new "woman" to the fullest. There were no type of apologies or explanations. All women want to know is that if they can be "HARD-BODY" and dismantle a relationship with an ex, then that their "new man" can too without hesitation, without feeling bad and without feeling like they have to explain. Women want a man that feels proud to have her on their arm. The type of man that will brag about his woman and "represent" her at ALL TIMES whether she is around or not. So fellas, a little piece of advice: Never make fun of your woman to make yourself look "cool" because in the end you just look like a "lame" and a "douchebag". Never let another "bobblehead" disrespect your woman in your presence because she is a representation of you. Last but not least, never be too concerned with an ex's feelings because your woman's feelings are the only ones that matter and it is not worth pissing her off just so you can be nice to "an insignificant chick, who couldn't even hold your attention long enough to become your woman".
http://true2thestory.blogspot.com/2011_02_01_archive.html
"Why is she going to a medical seminar"? "She's not even a real doctor". "Well, she is a real doctor, she's just not practicing". "Are you defending her in my house"? "No, I'm not defending her, I'm just clarifying". "Ok, she likes to pretend, pass the scalpel". (Insert laughter) This was the conversation between characters Janay and Derwin on the BET's hit tv show, The Game. For those of you not familiar with the television series, The Game is a "dramedy" that is centered around a professional football team. The "dramedy" focuses on the players on the team and the women in their lives. The main characters of the show, Melanie and Derwin were just recently married after a tumultous relationship including Derwin getting another woman pregnant while the two were separated briefly. The conversation above took place between Derwin and his "baby mama", Janay. For obvious reasons, Derwin's wife Melanie and Janay do not get along, hence Janay's snide remark about Melanie not being a "real doctor". Instead of Derwin taking up for his wife, what does he do? He makes fun of her or as I like to say "played her to the left" just to appease his "baby mama". He does not defend his wife but instead displays a classic case of what I like to call "Derwinism: Not Representing Your Woman To The Fullest.
As I'm watching this scene unfold, I immediately get mad as if this show is "real life". After I tell myself to calm down because it's only a t.v. show, that's when I realized that the reason I got mad is because that has happened to me! If I had a nickel for every time a boyfriend played me to the left for some insignificant chick then I would be a millionaire. It really pisses me off when men don't have the cojones to put a woman in check that is disrespecting your woman. I look at it as though you're not representing your woman at all times. There are three "situations" in which some men will not "represent" their woman in the presence of other females especially when that "other" female does not like their girlfriend/wife.
1). Making fun of your girlfriend to make yourself look better...
This situation is exactly what Derwin did in The Game episode. He let Janay intimidate him with the question of "Are you defending her in my house"? Instead of taking up for his wife and clearly stating that she is a doctor, what does he do? He takes the bitch ass way out and "plays" his wife to the left, just to appease his "baby mama". He does it so he can make Janay secure and so that he can feel better about himself knowing that he is not trying to make Janay uncomfortable by "defending" Melanie. If you're a man who cannot EVEN defend your wife/girlfriend then what are you doing in a relationship? Derwin should have been a MAN and stood up to Janay and put her in her place by letting her know that Melanie is his WIFE and that he won't tolerate any snide remarks about her. I guarantee you if he had put Janay in her place then she would have retreated like a bad puppy who just got bopped on the nose for peeing on the floor.
2). When men let other women talk shit about his girlfriend/wife in his presence
This situation right here has happened to me more times than I can count but I will start with the first time I ever encountered it. I was dating this guy when I was a freshman in high school and we were surely an "odd" couple. The type of couple that no one would have EVER guessed that would've started dating. We had been going out for about a month and I realized that one of his "girl" friends did not like me and would constantly talk shit about me to him. Of course when I confronted him, I asked him why he did let her talk shit about me in his presence and do you know that this fool had the NERVE to say "I don't know"! I was only fifteen then but I had enough sense to know that that wasn't right. I was absolutely floored that he wouldn't stand up for me! What some men don't understand is, that who you are in a relationship with is a reflection of yourself. So therefore in theory, if this heifer was talking shit about me, then in essence she was talking about him! He definitely was not representing me or having my back when it came to her. Needless to say, a month, later, we were done.
3). Being too nice to an ex when you're in a new relationship
I have also dealt with this situaton more times than I can count as well. You know how it goes, ladies. You get into a new relationship with a man and everything is going well and then BOOM! His ex or the girl that he used to date before you, pops up out of nowhere and tries to get in where she DON'T fit in. The relationship is fairly new so at this point, he wants to be open and honest and tells you that she contacted him. Now this is the part where I struggle, I want to tell him what to do and how to handle the situation but at the same time, I feel like I'm at the age now where I shouldn't have to tell him how to handle the situation, he should just know! Well, here's the problem ladies, more than likely, he's not going to handle it how you think he SHOULD handle it. Most men say that they will ignore her and eventually she'll get the hint and stop contacting him. Well, some women will, and some won't. In the event, that she doesn't get the hint, the man then needs to tell her that he is in a relationship and that she doesn't need to contact him anymore. However, most men are not going to say "Look, bitch, stop calling and texting me". Most men are going to try and be nice and say "I'm sorry but I've met someone else, I don't mean to hurt you, it just happened".
So ladies, you're puzzled at his response because everyone knows that when you're nice to THAT type of woman that she thinks you're leaving the door cracked open so she can sneak her big toe in. She's the type of woman who calls a man and asks him why he stopped talking to her? "Where they do that at"? Clearly not from where I'm from! So you ask him, why were you so nice to her? And he responds "Well, I didn't want to be mean and hurt her feelings"! You have got to be freaking kidding me! So let me get this straight, you didn't want to hurt her feelings now that you had to tell her that you were in a new relationship but before when you two were dating, you told her that you didn't want to be in a relationship and you just stopped talking to her cold turkey?! GTFOH...Where was all this concern at before? Bottom line is, is that these men feel guilty about their actions toward their ex's and they feel as though they need to coddle them. But forget them! Their feelings don't matter, the only person who's feelings matter, are yours! Because at the end of the day, who's "really" going to have his back? You are! Umm...it's great that these men have a conscience but in the words of rapper Positive K "What that got to do with me"?
What men do not understand is that the new "woman" wants to feel REPRESENTED and by them being nice to an ex and feeling like they have to explain what is going on, the "new woman" wonders if there is a reason why he is being so nice to her? Fellas, let me tell you, when a woman gets in a new relationship, she has "NO PROBLEM" telling her ex's that she has found someone else and to please stop contacting her. She may not be rude about it but she will damn sure be direct because we as women "LOVE" and "WANT" to represent our men. However, men only tiptoe around a woman's feelings when it is convenient for them. Instead of being nice, here is how the conversation should go...
Ex Chick: Why haven't you been returning my calls? Why have you stopped talking to me?
Dude: First off, I'm in a new relationship and I would appreciate it if you would stop calling and texting especially at this late hour when I am trying to chill with my lady
Ex Chick: Well, what makes her so special? You told me that you didn't want to be a relationship?
Dude: Let me stop you right there...I'm in a new relationship and I wish you well. I don't have any hard feelings or ill will towards you. Have a good night.
And that's how you HARD-BODY that type of situation. It was straight to the point and the man represented his new "woman" to the fullest. There were no type of apologies or explanations. All women want to know is that if they can be "HARD-BODY" and dismantle a relationship with an ex, then that their "new man" can too without hesitation, without feeling bad and without feeling like they have to explain. Women want a man that feels proud to have her on their arm. The type of man that will brag about his woman and "represent" her at ALL TIMES whether she is around or not. So fellas, a little piece of advice: Never make fun of your woman to make yourself look "cool" because in the end you just look like a "lame" and a "douchebag". Never let another "bobblehead" disrespect your woman in your presence because she is a representation of you. Last but not least, never be too concerned with an ex's feelings because your woman's feelings are the only ones that matter and it is not worth pissing her off just so you can be nice to "an insignificant chick, who couldn't even hold your attention long enough to become your woman".
http://true2thestory.blogspot.com/2011_02_01_archive.html
Roy Orbison
If you like Roy Orbison you’ll love this one.......
If you don’t like Roy Orbison you will still love this one!!
http://player.vimeo.com/video/6779174?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0&autoplay=1
If you don’t like Roy Orbison you will still love this one!!
http://player.vimeo.com/video/6779174?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0&autoplay=1
Friday, November 11, 2011
Greatest movie quotes
# Welcome to the Greatest movie quote page. I know you're thinking we've got a huge ego for calling this site the greatest movie quote page. But you see, we believe that it is quality of movie quotes and not the quantity that make makes the difference. We could copy hundreds of quotes off other sites but that's just studpid. Instead we only put the high quality ones on our site.
#
They Live:(RODDY RODDY PIPER) "I'm here to do one of two things, kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of bubble gum."
#
(DEAD POETS SOCIETY) Neil: The meek may inherit the earth but they don't get in to Harvard.
#
(Just one of the guys) Buddy: Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’ve never had sex before. I’ve had lots of sex! It’s just that now I’d like to try it with a partner.
#
Raising Arizona:
Glen: How many Pollacks it take to screw up a lightbulb?
H.I. McDunnough: I don't know, Glen. One?
Glen: Nope, it takes three.
[Glen laughs. H.I. doesn't]
Glen: Wait a minute, I told it wrong. Here, I'm startin' over: How come it takes three Pollacks to screw up a lightbulb?
H.I. McDunnough: I don't know, Glen.
Glen: 'Cause they're so darn stupid!
#
[Dirty Harry (1971)] Detective Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood): "When a man is chasing a woman in the park, naked with a butcher's knife in his hand, I don't think he'll be collecting for the Red Cross!"
#
Reggie (Eddie Murphy) in 48 Hrs: "You know what I am? I'm your worst f***ing nightmare, man. I'm a nigger with a badge. That means I got permission to kick your f***ing ass whenever I feel like it."
#
Ray Tango (Sylvester Stallone)Tango & Cash (1989): "My contribution to birth control." (after sticking a grenade down a bad guy's pants)
#
DR STRANGELOVE: "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, this is the war room!" President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers) stopping a dispute in Dr. Strangelove.
#
DR. EVIL (AUSTIN POWERS): Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to my underground lair. I have gathered here before me the worlds deadliest assassins. And yet each of you has failed to kill Austin powers. That makes me angry. And when Dr. Evil get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset...people DIE!!!
#
(BEAVIS & BUTTHEAD MOVIE) Old Woman on Bus: I'm hoping to score big myself. I'll mostly be doing the slots. Beavis: Yeah, yeah. I'm hoping to do some sluts too.
#
BILLY MADISON Old Woman: If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis. Billy: That was the most disgusting thing I've ever heard.
#
CASINO Sam "Ace" Rothstein: No matter how big a guy might be, Nicky would take him on. You beat Nicky with fists, he comes back with a bat. You beat him with a knife, he comes back with a gun. And if you beat him with a gun, you better kill him because he'll keep coming back and back until one of you is dead.
#
LIAR LIAR Max Reid (Justin Cooper): My teacher tells me beauty is on the inside.
Fletcher (Jim Carrey): That's just something ugly people say.
#
PARTY GIRL(Parker Posey):I would like a nice, powerful, mind-altering substance. Preferably one that will make my unborn children, grow gills.
#
Tommy Boy:Tommy: Let me tell you why I suck as a salesman. Let's say I go into some guys office. Let's say he's even remotely interested in buying something. Well then I get all excited. I'm like Jo Jo the idiot circus boy with a pretty new pet. The pet is my possible sale. How I love my pet. So I pet it and I stroke it and I massage it. I love it. I love my little naughty pet. You're naughty! And then I take my naughty pet and I go gszdkgs gszdkgs. OHHH!! I killed it!! I killed my sale!
#
Tootsie:(Dustin Hoffman): I was a better man with you as a woman than I ever was with a woman as a man.
#
North by Northwest:(Cary Grant) "In the world of advertising, there's no such thing as a lie. There's only expedient exaggeration."
#
TWISTER:(Cary Grant)"She didn't marry your penis. ...Okay, she didn't marry only your penis." (Melissa) Jami Gertz to a patient via telephone.
#
The Hunt for Red October:(Jeffrey Pelt) "Listen; I'm a politician which means I'm a cheat and a liar, and when I'm not kissing babies I'm stealing their lollipops. But ... it also means I keep my options open..."
#
Austin Powers:"Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy...the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess in the insane lament. My childhood was typical...summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds...pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum...it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it."
#
Dazed and Confused: "That's what I love about high school girls. No matter how old I get, they always stay the same age."
#
Dazed and Confused: "That's what I love about high school girls. No matter how old I get, they always stay the same age."
#
Princess Bride: "Life is pain. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something."
#
Plan 9 from Outer Space: Greetings, my friends. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember, my friends, future events such as these will affect you in the future.....
#
Crimes and Misdemeanors : My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.
#
They Live:(RODDY RODDY PIPER) "I'm here to do one of two things, kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of bubble gum."
#
(DEAD POETS SOCIETY) Neil: The meek may inherit the earth but they don't get in to Harvard.
#
(Just one of the guys) Buddy: Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’ve never had sex before. I’ve had lots of sex! It’s just that now I’d like to try it with a partner.
#
Raising Arizona:
Glen: How many Pollacks it take to screw up a lightbulb?
H.I. McDunnough: I don't know, Glen. One?
Glen: Nope, it takes three.
[Glen laughs. H.I. doesn't]
Glen: Wait a minute, I told it wrong. Here, I'm startin' over: How come it takes three Pollacks to screw up a lightbulb?
H.I. McDunnough: I don't know, Glen.
Glen: 'Cause they're so darn stupid!
#
[Dirty Harry (1971)] Detective Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood): "When a man is chasing a woman in the park, naked with a butcher's knife in his hand, I don't think he'll be collecting for the Red Cross!"
#
Reggie (Eddie Murphy) in 48 Hrs: "You know what I am? I'm your worst f***ing nightmare, man. I'm a nigger with a badge. That means I got permission to kick your f***ing ass whenever I feel like it."
#
Ray Tango (Sylvester Stallone)Tango & Cash (1989): "My contribution to birth control." (after sticking a grenade down a bad guy's pants)
#
DR STRANGELOVE: "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, this is the war room!" President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers) stopping a dispute in Dr. Strangelove.
#
DR. EVIL (AUSTIN POWERS): Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to my underground lair. I have gathered here before me the worlds deadliest assassins. And yet each of you has failed to kill Austin powers. That makes me angry. And when Dr. Evil get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset...people DIE!!!
#
(BEAVIS & BUTTHEAD MOVIE) Old Woman on Bus: I'm hoping to score big myself. I'll mostly be doing the slots. Beavis: Yeah, yeah. I'm hoping to do some sluts too.
#
BILLY MADISON Old Woman: If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis. Billy: That was the most disgusting thing I've ever heard.
#
CASINO Sam "Ace" Rothstein: No matter how big a guy might be, Nicky would take him on. You beat Nicky with fists, he comes back with a bat. You beat him with a knife, he comes back with a gun. And if you beat him with a gun, you better kill him because he'll keep coming back and back until one of you is dead.
#
LIAR LIAR Max Reid (Justin Cooper): My teacher tells me beauty is on the inside.
Fletcher (Jim Carrey): That's just something ugly people say.
#
PARTY GIRL(Parker Posey):I would like a nice, powerful, mind-altering substance. Preferably one that will make my unborn children, grow gills.
#
Tommy Boy:Tommy: Let me tell you why I suck as a salesman. Let's say I go into some guys office. Let's say he's even remotely interested in buying something. Well then I get all excited. I'm like Jo Jo the idiot circus boy with a pretty new pet. The pet is my possible sale. How I love my pet. So I pet it and I stroke it and I massage it. I love it. I love my little naughty pet. You're naughty! And then I take my naughty pet and I go gszdkgs gszdkgs. OHHH!! I killed it!! I killed my sale!
#
Tootsie:(Dustin Hoffman): I was a better man with you as a woman than I ever was with a woman as a man.
#
North by Northwest:(Cary Grant) "In the world of advertising, there's no such thing as a lie. There's only expedient exaggeration."
#
TWISTER:(Cary Grant)"She didn't marry your penis. ...Okay, she didn't marry only your penis." (Melissa) Jami Gertz to a patient via telephone.
#
The Hunt for Red October:(Jeffrey Pelt) "Listen; I'm a politician which means I'm a cheat and a liar, and when I'm not kissing babies I'm stealing their lollipops. But ... it also means I keep my options open..."
#
Austin Powers:"Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy...the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess in the insane lament. My childhood was typical...summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds...pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum...it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it."
#
Dazed and Confused: "That's what I love about high school girls. No matter how old I get, they always stay the same age."
#
Dazed and Confused: "That's what I love about high school girls. No matter how old I get, they always stay the same age."
#
Princess Bride: "Life is pain. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something."
#
Plan 9 from Outer Space: Greetings, my friends. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember, my friends, future events such as these will affect you in the future.....
#
Crimes and Misdemeanors : My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Top 10 Gluten Myths
Top 10 Gluten Myths
1. Myth: Celiac disease is rare.
Fact: Celiac disease affects 1 in 111 people in the US.
2. Myth: Gluten intolerance or celiac disease only affect the gut.
Fact: Research has found that once gluten is in the blood the proteins can affect any organ or tissue of the body. Studies have found links between gluten and many illnesses and conditions including cancer, autoimmune disease, osteoprorosis, brain disorders, chronic pain, infertility and many more.
3. Myth: Buckwheat has gluten in it.
Fact: Buckwheat is gluten free!
4. Myth: “If my digestion is good, then there is no way that I could be gluten sensitive.”
Fact: A person who is gluten sensitive could have absolutely no digestive symptoms. Often symptoms are related to the bones, lungs, mental functioning and or skin.
5. Myth: Gluten is “evil” :)
Fact: Gluten is a naturally occurring group of proteins found in nature. It is not “bad” in and of itself. The harm comes when it does not get broken down properly and then enters the blood stream, leading to a cascade of immune reactions. The exception to this is people with celiac disease. In these folks gluten triggers immune reactions just by its very presence in the intestines; so they may consider it darn right troublesome!
6. Myth: Glutinous grains have been a part of the human diet for eons.
Fact: Glutinous grains have only been in the human diet less than one half of a percent of the time that we have been upright!
7. Myth: There is gluten in “glutinous rice.”
Fact: Nope! “glutinous” in this case refers to its stickiness. Sticky rice does not contain gluten. No rice contains gluten.
8. Myth: There is no way there would be gluten in my ice cream.
Fact: Many commercial ice cream brands contain “modified food starch” which is often made out of gluten. Call the manufacturer to find out for sure.
9. Myth: If my shampoo contains “wheat protein,” and I have a gluten sensitivity, it will make me sick.
Fact: It is ok to put products that have gluten in them on your skin or hair. Just be aware that they do, and avoid contact with your mouth.
10. Myth: Once diagnosed as “gluten sensitive” I can never have gluten again without it causing health problems.
Fact: For folks that have been diagnosed gluten sensitive or intolerant: If they eliminate gluten for a period of time (usually 3 to 6 months), they can often add it back in in small amounts without triggering immune reactions and subsequent health problems (work with your holistic care provider to figure out what is best for you). These people do much better if they stick to whole, sprouted wheat, rye or spelt, VS refined white (high gluten containing) products when adding the gluten back in. This is not true for people with celiac disease... These folks need to remain gluten free for life.
1. Myth: Celiac disease is rare.
Fact: Celiac disease affects 1 in 111 people in the US.
2. Myth: Gluten intolerance or celiac disease only affect the gut.
Fact: Research has found that once gluten is in the blood the proteins can affect any organ or tissue of the body. Studies have found links between gluten and many illnesses and conditions including cancer, autoimmune disease, osteoprorosis, brain disorders, chronic pain, infertility and many more.
3. Myth: Buckwheat has gluten in it.
Fact: Buckwheat is gluten free!
4. Myth: “If my digestion is good, then there is no way that I could be gluten sensitive.”
Fact: A person who is gluten sensitive could have absolutely no digestive symptoms. Often symptoms are related to the bones, lungs, mental functioning and or skin.
5. Myth: Gluten is “evil” :)
Fact: Gluten is a naturally occurring group of proteins found in nature. It is not “bad” in and of itself. The harm comes when it does not get broken down properly and then enters the blood stream, leading to a cascade of immune reactions. The exception to this is people with celiac disease. In these folks gluten triggers immune reactions just by its very presence in the intestines; so they may consider it darn right troublesome!
6. Myth: Glutinous grains have been a part of the human diet for eons.
Fact: Glutinous grains have only been in the human diet less than one half of a percent of the time that we have been upright!
7. Myth: There is gluten in “glutinous rice.”
Fact: Nope! “glutinous” in this case refers to its stickiness. Sticky rice does not contain gluten. No rice contains gluten.
8. Myth: There is no way there would be gluten in my ice cream.
Fact: Many commercial ice cream brands contain “modified food starch” which is often made out of gluten. Call the manufacturer to find out for sure.
9. Myth: If my shampoo contains “wheat protein,” and I have a gluten sensitivity, it will make me sick.
Fact: It is ok to put products that have gluten in them on your skin or hair. Just be aware that they do, and avoid contact with your mouth.
10. Myth: Once diagnosed as “gluten sensitive” I can never have gluten again without it causing health problems.
Fact: For folks that have been diagnosed gluten sensitive or intolerant: If they eliminate gluten for a period of time (usually 3 to 6 months), they can often add it back in in small amounts without triggering immune reactions and subsequent health problems (work with your holistic care provider to figure out what is best for you). These people do much better if they stick to whole, sprouted wheat, rye or spelt, VS refined white (high gluten containing) products when adding the gluten back in. This is not true for people with celiac disease... These folks need to remain gluten free for life.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Mommy, Mommy!
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's running down the street!
Shut up and step on the gas!
Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to see Niagara Falls!
Shut up and get back in the barrel!
Mommy, Mommy! Is this the way to make pickles?
Shut up and get back in the barrel!
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy went through the meat grinder!
Shut up and eat your hamburger!
Mommy, Mommy! How will we ever find Daddy on this golf course?
Shut up and search the sand traps!
Mommy, Mommy! My teacher says my head is too big.
Shut up and get your hat from the garage, so your father can bring the car in!
Mommy, Mommy! Can I play in the sandbox?
Not until I find a better place to bury Daddy.
Mommy, Mommy! Why can't we give Dad a decent burial?
Shut up and keep flushing.
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire!
Shut up and get the marshmallows!
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy fell in the campfire!
Shut up and get the barbecue sauce!
Shut up and step on the gas!
Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to see Niagara Falls!
Shut up and get back in the barrel!
Mommy, Mommy! Is this the way to make pickles?
Shut up and get back in the barrel!
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy went through the meat grinder!
Shut up and eat your hamburger!
Mommy, Mommy! How will we ever find Daddy on this golf course?
Shut up and search the sand traps!
Mommy, Mommy! My teacher says my head is too big.
Shut up and get your hat from the garage, so your father can bring the car in!
Mommy, Mommy! Can I play in the sandbox?
Not until I find a better place to bury Daddy.
Mommy, Mommy! Why can't we give Dad a decent burial?
Shut up and keep flushing.
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire!
Shut up and get the marshmallows!
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy fell in the campfire!
Shut up and get the barbecue sauce!
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Slipper?
Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?
Doctor: You've had an accident involving a bus.
Patient: What happened?
Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?
Patient: Give me the bad news first.
Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.
Patient: That's terrible! What's the good news?
Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers.
Doctor: You've had an accident involving a bus.
Patient: What happened?
Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?
Patient: Give me the bad news first.
Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.
Patient: That's terrible! What's the good news?
Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers.
Good manners
During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Peter? How would you say it?"
Peter said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table."
"And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"
Johnny answered by saying, "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner."
The teacher fainted.
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Peter? How would you say it?"
Peter said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table."
"And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"
Johnny answered by saying, "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner."
The teacher fainted.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Dean Martin
this a classic! dean martin, one of the great old artistes...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7L02tCNi0I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7L02tCNi0I
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
A Father's Love
A Father's Love
Is a Warm Embrace,
Or a Quick Hug
A Glowing Smile, and Your Wit and Wisdom...
A Fathers Love is a Walk in the Park
On a Hot Summer Day
A Drive in the Car, Down that Windy dirt Road
A Fathers Love is in the Poem Written
To 'A Friend or Daughter,'
In the Special Words That Come Only From a Father...
A Fathers Love is in Fun Times Together
Camping under the Trees
Enjoying a picnic, and Walking through the Leaves...
A Fathers Love is Faith in His Family
High Hopes and Dreams, And Pleasure in Doing
'What Ever It Takes'...
A Fathers Love is a Kiss on the Cheek
Or a Friendly Hand Shake
My Idol for Life, 'I Will Treasure Dearly'
Is a Warm Embrace,
Or a Quick Hug
A Glowing Smile, and Your Wit and Wisdom...
A Fathers Love is a Walk in the Park
On a Hot Summer Day
A Drive in the Car, Down that Windy dirt Road
A Fathers Love is in the Poem Written
To 'A Friend or Daughter,'
In the Special Words That Come Only From a Father...
A Fathers Love is in Fun Times Together
Camping under the Trees
Enjoying a picnic, and Walking through the Leaves...
A Fathers Love is Faith in His Family
High Hopes and Dreams, And Pleasure in Doing
'What Ever It Takes'...
A Fathers Love is a Kiss on the Cheek
Or a Friendly Hand Shake
My Idol for Life, 'I Will Treasure Dearly'
Sunday, August 28, 2011
DIVORCE versus MURDER
DIVORCE versus MURDER
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said,
"I'd like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law!
I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said,
"I'd like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law!
I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Jamaican Maths Test
Jamaican Maths Test
A Jamaican man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test.
"Here is your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" The Jamaican says, "Dat is easy." And proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this ? " the boss asks "Ave you got no brains?"
"Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Jamaican.
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Jamaican stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go."
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Jamaican, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
The Jamaican stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."
The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Jamaican leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog come along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes one hundred."
"So, when do I start ?!"
A Jamaican man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test.
"Here is your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" The Jamaican says, "Dat is easy." And proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this ? " the boss asks "Ave you got no brains?"
"Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Jamaican.
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Jamaican stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go."
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Jamaican, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
The Jamaican stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."
The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Jamaican leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog come along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes one hundred."
"So, when do I start ?!"
Monday, August 1, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
‘The Transformers’ Artworks
‘The Transformers’ Artworks
http://www.webdesignmash.com/2011/06/more-than-meets-the-eye-transformers-artworks/#8353
Worth Reading this
It's another morning......... Again I have to go to the office.
Ohh!! this is me... I shouted, having a glance at my ‘photo’ in today's news paper.
But what the HELL it is doing in the death column??
Strange...
One second.......Let me think, last night when I
was going to bed I had a severe pain in my chest,
but I don't remember anything after that, I think
I had a sound sleep.
It's morning now, ohh....... It's already 10:00 AM,
where is my coffee?
I will be late for office and my boss will get a
chance to irritate me..
Where is everyone...??? I screamed.
"I think there is a crowd outside my room, let me
check." I said to myself.
So many people..... Not all of them crying......
But why some of them are crying....
WHAT IS THIS??? I’m lying there on the floor...
"I AM HERE" ....... I shouted!!! No one is listening.
"LOOK I AM NOT DEAD" .... I screamed once again!!
No one is interested in me.
They all were looking at me on the bed.
I went back to my bed room.
"Am I dead??" I asked myself...
Where is my wife, my children, my Mom, my Dad, my
friends?
I found them in the next room, all of them were
crying...still trying to console each other.
My wife was crying... she was really looking sad.
My little kid was not sure what happened, but he
was crying just because his Mom was sad..
How can I go without saying to my kid that I
really love him,
I really do care for him. ??
How can I go without saying to my wife that she is
really the most beautiful and most caring wife in
this world..??
How can I go without saying to my parents that I’m
what I am ... just because of you??
How can I go without telling my friends that
without them perhaps I would have done most of the
wrong things in my life... thanks for being there
always when I need them...and sorry for not being
there when they really need me..
I can see a person standing in the corner and
trying to hide his tears....
Oh.... he was once my best friend, but a small
misunderstanding made us part, and we both have a
strong enough ego to keep us disconnected.
I went there..... And offered him my hand, "Dear
friend.... I just want to say sorry for
everything, we are still best friends, please
forgive me."
No response from other side, what the hell?? He is
still preserving his ego, I am saying sorry... even
then!!!
I really don't care for such people.
But one second...... It seems he is not able to see
me!!!! He did not see my extended hand.
My goodness...... AM I REALLY DEAD???
I just sat down near ME; I was also feeling like
crying...
"OH ALMIGHTY!!!! PLEASE JUST GIVE ME FEW MORE
DAYS..."
I just wasn't to make my wife, my parents; my
friends realize that how much I love them.....
My wife entered the room, she looks beautiful.
"YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL" I shouted.
She didn't hear my words, in fact she never heard
these words because I never said this to her.
"GOD!!!!" I screamed... a little more timeplzzzzz...
I cried...
One more chance please... to hug my child, to make
my mom smile just once, to feel my dad proud of me
at least for a moment, to say sorry to my friends
for everything I have not given to them, and
thanks for still being in my life....
Then I looked up and cried!!
I shouted.......
"GOD!!!! ONE MORE CHANCE PLEASE!!!!"
"You shouted in your sleep," said my wife as she
gently woke me up. "Did you have a nightmare?"
I was sleeping....
Ohh that was just a dream....
My wife was there... she can hear me...
This is the happiest moment of my life...
I hugged her and whispered....
"YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND CARING WIFE
IN THIS UNIVERSE..... I REALLY LOVE YOU, DEAR"
I can't understand the reason of the smile on her
face with some tears in her eyes, still I’m
happy....
"THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS SECOND CHANCE."
SO, now it's not late... Forget the egos, the
Past... and express love to others.......
Be friendly...
Keep smiling...... forever....It is another chance
For you...
Please let us do things more sincerely...
Ohh!! this is me... I shouted, having a glance at my ‘photo’ in today's news paper.
But what the HELL it is doing in the death column??
Strange...
One second.......Let me think, last night when I
was going to bed I had a severe pain in my chest,
but I don't remember anything after that, I think
I had a sound sleep.
It's morning now, ohh....... It's already 10:00 AM,
where is my coffee?
I will be late for office and my boss will get a
chance to irritate me..
Where is everyone...??? I screamed.
"I think there is a crowd outside my room, let me
check." I said to myself.
So many people..... Not all of them crying......
But why some of them are crying....
WHAT IS THIS??? I’m lying there on the floor...
"I AM HERE" ....... I shouted!!! No one is listening.
"LOOK I AM NOT DEAD" .... I screamed once again!!
No one is interested in me.
They all were looking at me on the bed.
I went back to my bed room.
"Am I dead??" I asked myself...
Where is my wife, my children, my Mom, my Dad, my
friends?
I found them in the next room, all of them were
crying...still trying to console each other.
My wife was crying... she was really looking sad.
My little kid was not sure what happened, but he
was crying just because his Mom was sad..
How can I go without saying to my kid that I
really love him,
I really do care for him. ??
How can I go without saying to my wife that she is
really the most beautiful and most caring wife in
this world..??
How can I go without saying to my parents that I’m
what I am ... just because of you??
How can I go without telling my friends that
without them perhaps I would have done most of the
wrong things in my life... thanks for being there
always when I need them...and sorry for not being
there when they really need me..
I can see a person standing in the corner and
trying to hide his tears....
Oh.... he was once my best friend, but a small
misunderstanding made us part, and we both have a
strong enough ego to keep us disconnected.
I went there..... And offered him my hand, "Dear
friend.... I just want to say sorry for
everything, we are still best friends, please
forgive me."
No response from other side, what the hell?? He is
still preserving his ego, I am saying sorry... even
then!!!
I really don't care for such people.
But one second...... It seems he is not able to see
me!!!! He did not see my extended hand.
My goodness...... AM I REALLY DEAD???
I just sat down near ME; I was also feeling like
crying...
"OH ALMIGHTY!!!! PLEASE JUST GIVE ME FEW MORE
DAYS..."
I just wasn't to make my wife, my parents; my
friends realize that how much I love them.....
My wife entered the room, she looks beautiful.
"YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL" I shouted.
She didn't hear my words, in fact she never heard
these words because I never said this to her.
"GOD!!!!" I screamed... a little more timeplzzzzz...
I cried...
One more chance please... to hug my child, to make
my mom smile just once, to feel my dad proud of me
at least for a moment, to say sorry to my friends
for everything I have not given to them, and
thanks for still being in my life....
Then I looked up and cried!!
I shouted.......
"GOD!!!! ONE MORE CHANCE PLEASE!!!!"
"You shouted in your sleep," said my wife as she
gently woke me up. "Did you have a nightmare?"
I was sleeping....
Ohh that was just a dream....
My wife was there... she can hear me...
This is the happiest moment of my life...
I hugged her and whispered....
"YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND CARING WIFE
IN THIS UNIVERSE..... I REALLY LOVE YOU, DEAR"
I can't understand the reason of the smile on her
face with some tears in her eyes, still I’m
happy....
"THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS SECOND CHANCE."
SO, now it's not late... Forget the egos, the
Past... and express love to others.......
Be friendly...
Keep smiling...... forever....It is another chance
For you...
Please let us do things more sincerely...
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Top Ten Stupid Things Posted on Facebook Walls
MARCH 9, 2010 5:00AM
Top Ten Stupid Things Posted on Facebook Walls
Here's my list of 10 Things I'd like to never see on a Facebook wall again:
1) The Boyfriend Report
John Smith is--thinking about his boyfriend CONSTANTLY!!! <3>
Do you realize every time you put something like this on your wall, you make it that much harder for anyone to feel bad for you when the relationship ends two days later?
2) The Vague Expression of Passive Aggression
John Smith is--Some people are really making other people really angry by doing certain things that they shouldn't...
Gee, why don't you just tag the person you got into a fight with two hours earlier? Are you hoping to make all your friends worry that you're mad at them? The comment section on these are even better--
John Doe: OMG! You're not mad at me, are you?
John Smith: Noooo, OMG, I love you!!! It's just someone doing something that they shouldn't. They're just a someone.
Jane Doe: Is it ME??? LOL No, but is it?
John Smith: LOL Nooooo! Someone else.
Pretty soon it just becomes process of elimination.
3) The Inside Joke
John Smith is--koala bears in the what what? Hahaha
You know, they have this new thing where you can edit statuses so that only certain people can see them. Why not do that rather than make everyone other than the two people who know what the hell you're talking about read this and have their heads explode while they try to figure out how you came in contact with a koala bear and just what your "what what" is?
4) The Ode to Life
John Smith is--Crazy pancakes after an amazing party at Sal's! Love my Life!
I don't care.
5) The Cursed Life
John Smith is--I just found out that I'm adopted and that my real parents were Bavarian gypsies! FML!
I don't care--and I now know wayyy too much about you.
6) The Declaration of Love to a Really Bad Pop Culture Phenomenon As If You're the Only Idiot That Likes It
John Smith is--AVATAR IS AMAZING!!! Everybody should see it!
I'm sorry, I'm confused. Are you talking to the four people who haven't seen it? Thank you for exposing us to this hidden gem. Aside from the record-breaking gross and the Oscar nominations, I never would have heard about it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go back under my rock and see if I have enough change for a movie ticket. Those cost a few nickels more now, right?
7) The Song Lyrics Dedicated to Whomever You Just Had Sex With
John Smith is--"And your body is/My ferris wheel/I loved getting stuck/At the top" :)
Just so we're clear, posting song lyrics afterwards doesn't make the hook-up any less trashy.
8) The Compliment Fisher
John Smith is--I'm the worst person ever. Someone just shoot me.
Am I the only one who sees statuses like this and wants to comment with--"Yeah, you really are. You should just find a bottle of something and take the whole thing. So glad you realized this without any of us having to tell you. What a load off that is!"
9) The Bar Tab
John Smith--Still sooo wasted from last night. Threw up on myself. Hahaha Who wants to go out tonight?
If I want to find out how your alcoholism is going, I'll tune into Intervention when your episode is on.
10) The Awesome Vacation That Only You're On
John Smith is--Watching a sunset on a tropical island in the Pacific. Spent all day relaxing and now I'm going to drink wine and dance the night away with as many beautiful strangers as I can. God, life is glorious, isn't it?
F**k you.
Top Ten Stupid Things Posted on Facebook Walls
Here's my list of 10 Things I'd like to never see on a Facebook wall again:
1) The Boyfriend Report
John Smith is--thinking about his boyfriend CONSTANTLY!!! <3>
Do you realize every time you put something like this on your wall, you make it that much harder for anyone to feel bad for you when the relationship ends two days later?
2) The Vague Expression of Passive Aggression
John Smith is--Some people are really making other people really angry by doing certain things that they shouldn't...
Gee, why don't you just tag the person you got into a fight with two hours earlier? Are you hoping to make all your friends worry that you're mad at them? The comment section on these are even better--
John Doe: OMG! You're not mad at me, are you?
John Smith: Noooo, OMG, I love you!!! It's just someone doing something that they shouldn't. They're just a someone.
Jane Doe: Is it ME??? LOL No, but is it?
John Smith: LOL Nooooo! Someone else.
Pretty soon it just becomes process of elimination.
3) The Inside Joke
John Smith is--koala bears in the what what? Hahaha
You know, they have this new thing where you can edit statuses so that only certain people can see them. Why not do that rather than make everyone other than the two people who know what the hell you're talking about read this and have their heads explode while they try to figure out how you came in contact with a koala bear and just what your "what what" is?
4) The Ode to Life
John Smith is--Crazy pancakes after an amazing party at Sal's! Love my Life!
I don't care.
5) The Cursed Life
John Smith is--I just found out that I'm adopted and that my real parents were Bavarian gypsies! FML!
I don't care--and I now know wayyy too much about you.
6) The Declaration of Love to a Really Bad Pop Culture Phenomenon As If You're the Only Idiot That Likes It
John Smith is--AVATAR IS AMAZING!!! Everybody should see it!
I'm sorry, I'm confused. Are you talking to the four people who haven't seen it? Thank you for exposing us to this hidden gem. Aside from the record-breaking gross and the Oscar nominations, I never would have heard about it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go back under my rock and see if I have enough change for a movie ticket. Those cost a few nickels more now, right?
7) The Song Lyrics Dedicated to Whomever You Just Had Sex With
John Smith is--"And your body is/My ferris wheel/I loved getting stuck/At the top" :)
Just so we're clear, posting song lyrics afterwards doesn't make the hook-up any less trashy.
8) The Compliment Fisher
John Smith is--I'm the worst person ever. Someone just shoot me.
Am I the only one who sees statuses like this and wants to comment with--"Yeah, you really are. You should just find a bottle of something and take the whole thing. So glad you realized this without any of us having to tell you. What a load off that is!"
9) The Bar Tab
John Smith--Still sooo wasted from last night. Threw up on myself. Hahaha Who wants to go out tonight?
If I want to find out how your alcoholism is going, I'll tune into Intervention when your episode is on.
10) The Awesome Vacation That Only You're On
John Smith is--Watching a sunset on a tropical island in the Pacific. Spent all day relaxing and now I'm going to drink wine and dance the night away with as many beautiful strangers as I can. God, life is glorious, isn't it?
F**k you.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
My Fairest Maiden
My Fairest Maiden
Gazing toward the horizon, embracing this now setting sun
While as stepping through this threshold, to find myself
Once more mesmerized by these thoughts of her portrait
Born, inside such cupids eyes of love
A feeling somewhat familiar begins to arise, deep inside, this soul of my very soul
Something that for many years now it seems, has lay hidden
From within this beating heart of mine....
Reflectng on the first time I had ever beheld her fragrance
As a crimsons rose, gently blossoming before my sight
Amid these gloriously vivid colors, that had marked her radiance
As I watched within astonishing amazement
Unknowing along the paths of time, that her beauty, would then steal my thoughts....
Within the nighttime stillness I have journied and crossed
These vast oceans to be near her side; to breathe in her glowing light
Which fills her perfect soulful eyes, beneath, her soft and lovely lashes
This precious white dove; with her flowing, and silkened brown hair
Tenderly smiling, with her glistening strawberry lips, whispering, such words of life
Upon the shores of her whitened sands, afore this glittering, starlit night
Dare I dream of Cinderella once more I pondered ?
While holding these diamond slippers of silver, within my dreaming, wanting hands....
As I then blinked my eyes not once but twice, and stared back, upon the open waters
Of the Pacific; from atop this balcony whereon I do now stand
Peering beyond the breaks of these enchanting mooncrested currents
And looking towards the heavens within their soothing solace
While wishing, if only she were here; her beauty, by my side
Taking another sip of red Chateau wine, and, then closing my eyes
That I may listen to the waves amid their serenty calling her name
Spellbinding, time after time, after time, again; as once more, I breathe her in
Into this princess of all that truly matters, that truly matters, inside of me....
Smiling as I glimpse the shoreline; and then, this ever rolling tide
Where into I cast another kiss; in hopes that it shall find her treasures front door
Her majesty ~ Who became all that she is, all, within the blink of an eye
A crimsons rose, held by my dreaming heart; as I wonder, will she ever be mine....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She, 'My Fairest Maiden' ~
Gazing toward the horizon, embracing this now setting sun
While as stepping through this threshold, to find myself
Once more mesmerized by these thoughts of her portrait
Born, inside such cupids eyes of love
A feeling somewhat familiar begins to arise, deep inside, this soul of my very soul
Something that for many years now it seems, has lay hidden
From within this beating heart of mine....
Reflectng on the first time I had ever beheld her fragrance
As a crimsons rose, gently blossoming before my sight
Amid these gloriously vivid colors, that had marked her radiance
As I watched within astonishing amazement
Unknowing along the paths of time, that her beauty, would then steal my thoughts....
Within the nighttime stillness I have journied and crossed
These vast oceans to be near her side; to breathe in her glowing light
Which fills her perfect soulful eyes, beneath, her soft and lovely lashes
This precious white dove; with her flowing, and silkened brown hair
Tenderly smiling, with her glistening strawberry lips, whispering, such words of life
Upon the shores of her whitened sands, afore this glittering, starlit night
Dare I dream of Cinderella once more I pondered ?
While holding these diamond slippers of silver, within my dreaming, wanting hands....
As I then blinked my eyes not once but twice, and stared back, upon the open waters
Of the Pacific; from atop this balcony whereon I do now stand
Peering beyond the breaks of these enchanting mooncrested currents
And looking towards the heavens within their soothing solace
While wishing, if only she were here; her beauty, by my side
Taking another sip of red Chateau wine, and, then closing my eyes
That I may listen to the waves amid their serenty calling her name
Spellbinding, time after time, after time, again; as once more, I breathe her in
Into this princess of all that truly matters, that truly matters, inside of me....
Smiling as I glimpse the shoreline; and then, this ever rolling tide
Where into I cast another kiss; in hopes that it shall find her treasures front door
Her majesty ~ Who became all that she is, all, within the blink of an eye
A crimsons rose, held by my dreaming heart; as I wonder, will she ever be mine....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She, 'My Fairest Maiden' ~
Thursday, June 30, 2011
It's Me, The Dog
Dear God: Is it on purpose that our
Names are spelled the same, only in reverse?
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers,
But seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit
On your couch? Or will it be the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after
The jaguar, the cougar, the mustang,
The colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE
Named for a Dog? How often do you
See a cougar riding around? We love a nice car
Ride! Would it be so hard to rename
The 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off
In the forest and no human hears him,
Is he still a bad Dog?
Dear God: We Dogs can understand human
Verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
Horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,
Electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee
Flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs,
Less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven?
If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Here is a list of
Just some of the things I must remember
To be a good Dog:
1. I will not eat the cat's food before he eats
It or after he throws it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish,
Crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's
Underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's
Crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand
Straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
Entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside,
And immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living
Room, and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy',
So when I play with him and he makes that noise,
it's usually not a good thing.
P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven,
May I have my testicles back?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
