Devil Joke
Three guys die and go to hell. When they arrive the devil informs them that he is going to remove their penises.
"Oh, how are you going to do it", asks one of the guys.
"Whatever your fathers jobs were, that's how I'll remove them" says the devil.
So he calls over the first guy "Your father was a lumberjack... So I'll cut it off with a saw"
To the second guy he says "Your father was a blacksmith... So I'm going to burn it off"
As he calls the third guy over he notices he's smiling.
"Why are you smiling, you just watched me remove your friends penises" says the devil.
"I know" replies the man "but my father was a popsicle maker"
Friday, January 29, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Cranky Old Man
Cranky Old Man
What do you see nurses? ..... What do you see?
What are you thinking ..... when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man ..... not very wise,
Uncertain of habit ..... with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food ..... and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice ..... 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice ..... the things that you do.
And forever is losing ..... A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not ..... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding ..... The long day to fill?
IIs that what you're thinking? ..... Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse ..... you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am ..... As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding ..... as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten ..... with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters ..... who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen ..... with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now ..... a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty ..... my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows ..... that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now ..... I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide ..... And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty ..... My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other ..... With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons ..... have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me ..... to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more ..... Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children ..... My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me ..... My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ..... I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing ..... young of their own.
And I think of the years ..... And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man ..... and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age ..... look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles ..... grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone ..... where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass ..... A young man still dwells,
And now and again ..... my battered heart swells
I remember the joys ..... I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living ..... life over again.
I think of the years, all too few ..... gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact ..... that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people ..... open and see.
Not a cranky old man.
Look closer ..... see ..... ME!!!
What do you see nurses? ..... What do you see?
What are you thinking ..... when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man ..... not very wise,
Uncertain of habit ..... with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food ..... and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice ..... 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice ..... the things that you do.
And forever is losing ..... A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not ..... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding ..... The long day to fill?
IIs that what you're thinking? ..... Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse ..... you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am ..... As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding ..... as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten ..... with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters ..... who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen ..... with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now ..... a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty ..... my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows ..... that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now ..... I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide ..... And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty ..... My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other ..... With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons ..... have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me ..... to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more ..... Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children ..... My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me ..... My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ..... I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing ..... young of their own.
And I think of the years ..... And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man ..... and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age ..... look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles ..... grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone ..... where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass ..... A young man still dwells,
And now and again ..... my battered heart swells
I remember the joys ..... I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living ..... life over again.
I think of the years, all too few ..... gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact ..... that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people ..... open and see.
Not a cranky old man.
Look closer ..... see ..... ME!!!
Friday, January 15, 2010
For The Love Of Mrs. Brown ...
For The Love Of Mrs. Brown ...
http://video.aol.co.uk/video-detail/for-the-love-of-mrs-brown-sample/3238477394
http://video.aol.co.uk/video-detail/for-the-love-of-mrs-brown-sample/3238477394
Sunday, January 10, 2010
To my friends who are...still HOLDING ON
To My Friends Who Are............STILL HOLDING ON
給我那還在等待的朋友們A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love, only to
人生最傷心的事，是你和他/她愛情長跑了多年，最後的結局卻不如所望。
find out in the end that it was never meant to be and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it. If he isn't worth it now he's not
'如果他/她現在讓你覺得不值的付出，那麼一年，甚至十年後，都不會值的付出的。
going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now. Let go.....
讓他/她走吧
人生最傷心的事，是你和他/她愛情長跑了多年，最後的結局卻不如所望。
find out in the end that it was never meant to be and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it. If he isn't worth it now he's not
'如果他/她現在讓你覺得不值的付出，那麼一年，甚至十年後，都不會值的付出的。
going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now. Let go.....
讓他/她走吧
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Pyscho test
Pyscho test
Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down tothe bottom for the result. This is not a trick question.
It is as it reads.
No one I know has got it right---including me. A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a man she didn'tknow. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy, that she believed him to be just that! She fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and couldn't find! him. A few days later she killed her sister.
Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?
(Give this some thought before you answer).
SCROLL DOWN.
Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again.
If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath.
This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has thesame mentality as a killer .
Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly. If you didn't answer the question correctly good for you.
If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off of my email list unless that will tick you off, then I'll just be extra nice to you from now on.
Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down tothe bottom for the result. This is not a trick question.
It is as it reads.
No one I know has got it right---including me. A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a man she didn'tknow. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy, that she believed him to be just that! She fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and couldn't find! him. A few days later she killed her sister.
Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?
(Give this some thought before you answer).
SCROLL DOWN.
Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again.
If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath.
This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has thesame mentality as a killer .
Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly. If you didn't answer the question correctly good for you.
If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off of my email list unless that will tick you off, then I'll just be extra nice to you from now on.
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