Taking Down My Christmas Decorations
Good News and Bad News
Well, there is good news and bad news about my Christmas decorations this year
Good news is that I truly outdid myself this year with my Christmas decorations.
The bad news is that I had to take him down after 2 days.
I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever.
Kind of feel like I gave in to the man by taking him down but my neighbor did confirm two near miss accidents on the busy street next to my house.
I think I made him too real this time.
So it was fun while it lasted...
Friday, December 28, 2012
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Meeting the Desperate Housewife
Meeting the Desperate Housewife
A new couple had just shifted to our mansion and I, as the owner had to pay them a visit and get all the important paperwork done. It was a hot Monday and the sun was shining bright. I drove and parked my car in front of their garage. I rang the doorbell to see that a young lady (around 20-23 years), wearing a sports bra and pants welcomed me. I paused a minute to see her tits and my god they were around 36DD and were increasing and decreasing with her breaths while she managed to say a hello to me and make me look towards her. I said hey, and entered the mansion. The place still needed work and everything was messed up. By the sweat on her face inside this cool mansion, I understood that she must have been exercising. While she went in the kitchen to get water for me, I kept imagining her tits while she must have been exercising. There she was, wearing a robe that hid all of her body but not her massive tits that kept bouncing while she was in motion.
When she sat next to me my twinge rose to a hard on and I was struggling to hide it. She asked what I had come for to which I replied—I am the owner of this mansion and I had expected to finish some paperwork’s here. She hummed and moved forward in front of me trying to get the papers lying in front of me. While she did that, her boobs slipped out of her robe and I saw her nipples and cups. Though they were not erect, they were still huge for her 5 4” figure. She gasped and blushed trying to adjust her melons and while she did that she opened her robe for me letting me catch a glimpse of her sun tan. Whoa, she was gorgeous and I mean it!
Her body made me feel hard inside and I had to unload myself so I headed towards the bathroom when she came in front of me and stopped me form entering the bathroom. She laughed and said, it is okay you can come here itself, anyways the house is in a mess! With that she turned towards the table where the papers were kept and took them upstairs and said she’d be back after changing. Since, I had lived here my whole childhood and adolescent period I knew every corner of the house. I had once created a girth form my bedroom that ended in the bathroom where she was changing. I figured out that it was still there and peeped through it. There she was undoing her robe. I kept unzipping my pants while she made it easier for me to see her naked by removing her clothes.
She was naked and she again wore a bra and what… she came out topless and naked from below and she hadn’t shaved it so that musk was really hiding her clit. I was shocked and thinking that she would stand in front of me like this made me come. I did my pants and headed towards the hall where she was lying on the sofa wearing a silk fabricated cloth that was attached to her collar and ended where her soft ass was cushioning. Again, I remembered she was not wearing a panty so I sat in front of her, trying to see her thighs and when she folded her legs, they revealed her hole. I was hard again and seeing it made it stand up and all I could do is hide it while she came and sat next to me and signed the papers.
Everything is done, Mr. Burn, but just one thing, that hole in your room lets my kids see me naked for a few nights. With this I gulped my throat and said sorry? She said even you saw me naked and if my husband comes to know this, it would be dangerous.
So it is better we see ourselves naked, if we want to, somewhere else. She was lowering her head and reaching to my zip and when she reached there, her hands gave me a jolt and I came in my pants. She smelled my cum and licking it off me. All this while I was groaning in pleasure as I hadn’t had this pleasurable experience for a few months at a stretch, When I motioned towards the door; she locked it and threw me on the floor and started kissing my dick. Once again, I was moaning in pleasure and once she started bobbing I made sure to push her head further to let my 11 inch cock fully in her mouth.
With one last move, she licked my balls and I was Cumming once again and was embarrassed at the same time. We both stared and then she removed her hands off my dick and asked me—you do know I am not wearing panties, don’t you? I blushed and said, you look better that way. She said that you haven’t even done anything to me or touched me and you like already? You must be desperate. Well, my husband won’t be back for a week and this feeling made me go crazy and I fell for you. I like you too but I am married with two kids but your dick makes me go crazy!!
With this she unzipped and removed my whole pants and boxers and started licking my head and stroking my shaft. I was hard again and ready to make love anytime she said. With another blowjob I was lying on the floor being bobbed by a girl whom I really didn’t know. It was 12 at noon and I was now kissing her arms and thighs and whenever I got a chance slipped my hands in her fabric and pressed her ass.
She moaned in pleasure and kept purring while I was now eating her lips out. We made out for about 20 minutes when she suddenly started spreading her legs and moaning, motioning me to suck her love hole. I really didn’t want to go that far but when she lifted her cloth up, my whole body froze and next thing I knew I was fondling with her love entrance. I was pushing my tongue deeper and deeper and she kept pushing my head and when she folded her legs around my head I was all alone eating and caressing her mould. She had swollen completely and her nipples were erect. I lifted her dress up to play with her ass while she kept kissing me wherever she could.
She sometimes mentioned that she had never been touched this passionately. I grabbed her from her ass and lifted her giving her full opportunity to press her melons against me. We fell on the floor and she was undressing me and I was doing oh while she kissed my nipples. I tried not to moan but her lips texture made my body shiver and get goose bumps.
We both were naked, in 69 and licking each other’s organs. She was spreading her legs and all of a sudden, she came and came and all her love juice spread on her walls giving me an opportunity to lick her off and prepare her to swell once again. She ended up taking my sperms down her throat while I was fingering her lips and trying to enter her tight ass with my fingers. She soon gasped and wiggled her ass motioning to lick her there. I did so and she was moaning like hell and fingering her self while shaking my penis.
Ultimately I was performing oral sex on a lady with whom I shared no sexual life or anything. She kept kissing me madly and left me stranded with the file on a hot summer day. But, I knew this was not the end and it would continue.
A new couple had just shifted to our mansion and I, as the owner had to pay them a visit and get all the important paperwork done. It was a hot Monday and the sun was shining bright. I drove and parked my car in front of their garage. I rang the doorbell to see that a young lady (around 20-23 years), wearing a sports bra and pants welcomed me. I paused a minute to see her tits and my god they were around 36DD and were increasing and decreasing with her breaths while she managed to say a hello to me and make me look towards her. I said hey, and entered the mansion. The place still needed work and everything was messed up. By the sweat on her face inside this cool mansion, I understood that she must have been exercising. While she went in the kitchen to get water for me, I kept imagining her tits while she must have been exercising. There she was, wearing a robe that hid all of her body but not her massive tits that kept bouncing while she was in motion.
When she sat next to me my twinge rose to a hard on and I was struggling to hide it. She asked what I had come for to which I replied—I am the owner of this mansion and I had expected to finish some paperwork’s here. She hummed and moved forward in front of me trying to get the papers lying in front of me. While she did that, her boobs slipped out of her robe and I saw her nipples and cups. Though they were not erect, they were still huge for her 5 4” figure. She gasped and blushed trying to adjust her melons and while she did that she opened her robe for me letting me catch a glimpse of her sun tan. Whoa, she was gorgeous and I mean it!
Her body made me feel hard inside and I had to unload myself so I headed towards the bathroom when she came in front of me and stopped me form entering the bathroom. She laughed and said, it is okay you can come here itself, anyways the house is in a mess! With that she turned towards the table where the papers were kept and took them upstairs and said she’d be back after changing. Since, I had lived here my whole childhood and adolescent period I knew every corner of the house. I had once created a girth form my bedroom that ended in the bathroom where she was changing. I figured out that it was still there and peeped through it. There she was undoing her robe. I kept unzipping my pants while she made it easier for me to see her naked by removing her clothes.
She was naked and she again wore a bra and what… she came out topless and naked from below and she hadn’t shaved it so that musk was really hiding her clit. I was shocked and thinking that she would stand in front of me like this made me come. I did my pants and headed towards the hall where she was lying on the sofa wearing a silk fabricated cloth that was attached to her collar and ended where her soft ass was cushioning. Again, I remembered she was not wearing a panty so I sat in front of her, trying to see her thighs and when she folded her legs, they revealed her hole. I was hard again and seeing it made it stand up and all I could do is hide it while she came and sat next to me and signed the papers.
Everything is done, Mr. Burn, but just one thing, that hole in your room lets my kids see me naked for a few nights. With this I gulped my throat and said sorry? She said even you saw me naked and if my husband comes to know this, it would be dangerous.
So it is better we see ourselves naked, if we want to, somewhere else. She was lowering her head and reaching to my zip and when she reached there, her hands gave me a jolt and I came in my pants. She smelled my cum and licking it off me. All this while I was groaning in pleasure as I hadn’t had this pleasurable experience for a few months at a stretch, When I motioned towards the door; she locked it and threw me on the floor and started kissing my dick. Once again, I was moaning in pleasure and once she started bobbing I made sure to push her head further to let my 11 inch cock fully in her mouth.
With one last move, she licked my balls and I was Cumming once again and was embarrassed at the same time. We both stared and then she removed her hands off my dick and asked me—you do know I am not wearing panties, don’t you? I blushed and said, you look better that way. She said that you haven’t even done anything to me or touched me and you like already? You must be desperate. Well, my husband won’t be back for a week and this feeling made me go crazy and I fell for you. I like you too but I am married with two kids but your dick makes me go crazy!!
With this she unzipped and removed my whole pants and boxers and started licking my head and stroking my shaft. I was hard again and ready to make love anytime she said. With another blowjob I was lying on the floor being bobbed by a girl whom I really didn’t know. It was 12 at noon and I was now kissing her arms and thighs and whenever I got a chance slipped my hands in her fabric and pressed her ass.
She moaned in pleasure and kept purring while I was now eating her lips out. We made out for about 20 minutes when she suddenly started spreading her legs and moaning, motioning me to suck her love hole. I really didn’t want to go that far but when she lifted her cloth up, my whole body froze and next thing I knew I was fondling with her love entrance. I was pushing my tongue deeper and deeper and she kept pushing my head and when she folded her legs around my head I was all alone eating and caressing her mould. She had swollen completely and her nipples were erect. I lifted her dress up to play with her ass while she kept kissing me wherever she could.
She sometimes mentioned that she had never been touched this passionately. I grabbed her from her ass and lifted her giving her full opportunity to press her melons against me. We fell on the floor and she was undressing me and I was doing oh while she kissed my nipples. I tried not to moan but her lips texture made my body shiver and get goose bumps.
We both were naked, in 69 and licking each other’s organs. She was spreading her legs and all of a sudden, she came and came and all her love juice spread on her walls giving me an opportunity to lick her off and prepare her to swell once again. She ended up taking my sperms down her throat while I was fingering her lips and trying to enter her tight ass with my fingers. She soon gasped and wiggled her ass motioning to lick her there. I did so and she was moaning like hell and fingering her self while shaking my penis.
Ultimately I was performing oral sex on a lady with whom I shared no sexual life or anything. She kept kissing me madly and left me stranded with the file on a hot summer day. But, I knew this was not the end and it would continue.
Tower of Pisa Gets Necktie
Tower of Pisa Gets Necktie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=i_2SsTfTXoIWednesday, November 28, 2012
Saturday, November 3, 2012
AGE APPROPRIATE
AGE APPROPRIATE
The older we get...
ONE.
Recently, when I went to McDonald's, I saw on the menu that you could have an order of six, nine, or 12
Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen
nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,'
said the teenager at the counter. 'You don't?' I replied. 'We only have six, nine, or 12,' was the reply. 'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered
six McNuggets.
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
TWO.
I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider,' looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?' I said to her, 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.' She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things I'd bought and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE.
I saw a woman at work putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'
(Keep shuddering!)
FOUR.
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I
asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have
replaced the battery to this remote door
unlocker. Now I can't get into my car.
Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an
alarm, too?' I asked 'No, just this remote
thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually
unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'
(PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself!)
FIVE.
Several years ago, we had an intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her.
With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.
(Brunette, by the way!)
SIX.
A mother calls 911 very worried, asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room - the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine. The mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer...' Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'
(Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're
stupid!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you, too. Don't laugh...it is all true!
Perks
of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03. No one expects you to run -
anywhere.
04. People call at 9 PM and ask,"Did I wake you?"
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
08 You can eat supper at 4 PM.
09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your
stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator
music.
14. Your eyes won't get much
worse.
15. Your investment in health
insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate
meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your
friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is
finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
20. And you notice these are all in BIG PRINT for your convenience.
The older we get...
ONE.
Recently, when I went to McDonald's, I saw on the menu that you could have an order of six, nine, or 12
Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen
nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,'
said the teenager at the counter. 'You don't?' I replied. 'We only have six, nine, or 12,' was the reply. 'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered
six McNuggets.
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
TWO.
I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider,' looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?' I said to her, 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.' She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things I'd bought and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE.
I saw a woman at work putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'
(Keep shuddering!)
FOUR.
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I
asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have
replaced the battery to this remote door
unlocker. Now I can't get into my car.
Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an
alarm, too?' I asked 'No, just this remote
thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually
unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'
(PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself!)
FIVE.
Several years ago, we had an intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her.
With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.
(Brunette, by the way!)
SIX.
A mother calls 911 very worried, asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room - the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine. The mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer...' Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'
(Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're
stupid!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you, too. Don't laugh...it is all true!
Perks
of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03. No one expects you to run -
anywhere.
04. People call at 9 PM and ask,"Did I wake you?"
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
08 You can eat supper at 4 PM.
09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your
stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator
music.
14. Your eyes won't get much
worse.
15. Your investment in health
insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate
meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your
friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is
finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
20. And you notice these are all in BIG PRINT for your convenience.
Friday, November 2, 2012
WHAT IS AN INFIDEL ?
WHAT IS AN INFIDEL ?
This is a true story and the author,
Rick Mathes, is a well-known
leader in prison ministry
******************************
The man who walks with God always gets to his destination. If you have a pulse you have a purpose.
The Muslim religion is the fastest growing religion per capita in the United States, especially in the minority races!!
Last month I attended my annual training session that's required for maintaining my state prison security clearance.
During the training session there was a presentation by three speakers representing the Roman Catholic, Protestant, and Muslim faiths, who each explained their beliefs.
I was particularly interested in what the Islamic had to say. The Muslim gave a great presentation of the basics of Islam, complete with a video. After the presentations, time was provided for questions and answers then it was my turn. I directed my question to the Muslim and asked:
'Please, correct me if I'm wrong, but I understand that most Imams and clerics of Islam have declared a holy jihad [Holy war] against the infidels of the world and, that by killing an infidel, (which is a command to all Muslims) they are assured of a place in heaven. If that's the case, can you give me the definition of an infidel?'
There was no disagreement with my statements and, without hesitation, he replied, 'Non-believers!'
I responded, 'So, let me make sure I have this straight. All followers of Allah have been commanded to kill everyone who is not of your faith so they can have a place in heaven.
Is that correct?'
The expression on his face changed from one of authority and command to that of a little boy who had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
He sheepishly replied, 'Yes.'
I then stated, 'Well, sir, I have a real problem trying to imagine The Pope commanding all Catholics to kill those of your faith or Dr. Stanley ordering all Protestants to do the same in order to guarantee them a place in heaven!'
The Muslim was speechless! I continued, 'I also have a problem with being your friend when you and your brother clerics are telling your followers to kill me!
Let me ask you a question:
Would you rather have your Allah, who tells you to kill me in order for you to go to heaven, or my Jesus who tells me to love you because I am going to heaven and He wants you to be there with me?'
You could have heard a pin drop as the Imam hung his head in shame.
Needless to say, the organizers and/or promoters of the 'Diversification' training seminar were not happy with my way of dealing with the Islamic Imam, and exposing the truth about the Muslims' beliefs.
In twenty years there will be enough Muslim voters in the U.S. to elect the President!
Sunday, October 14, 2012
man with no face
Mohammad Latif Khatana was born in 1980, in
Kashmir, India as a beautiful, healthy baby. The only unusual thing about him
was a small lump on his face. Over the years, the insignificant lump continued
to grow and form huge flaps and creases across all over his face, eventually
impairing his vision and turning him into a monster for the rest of the people
who consider themselves normal… Mohammad Latif Khatana is the youngest of his
family and he has two brothers and three sisters, who do not suffer from the
same condition as he does.
Over the ears, Mohammad got the nickname of “the
man with no face” because he currently looks worse than a shar-pei… The folds in
his face took his eyesight, and his capacity to provide from himself and his
family. He declared that his mother still cries every time she sees him, and
does not understand why her youngest child has to suffer from such a horrible
curse.
But what is the cause of this terrifying, strange
disease? The man with no face suffers from an infection with a strand of the
human papillomavirus. Norrmally, our defense system is more than capable to
fight of this virus, but unfortunately, Mohammad’s organism suffers from a rare
genetic disorder that left him unable to fight off the infection. Below you can
see a picture of the culprit virus.
Growing up was harsh on the poor child due to the
fact that some people are simply incapable of accepting that looks aren’t
everything, and it’s the character of the person that should count. Hence,
Mohammad, who sadly lost his left eye when he was 8 years old, and everyone used
to pick on him and call him a “one-eye freak”. And if you’re thinking to
yourself that kids are normally mean, we’re gonna tell you that adults are even
worse.
As an adult, the man with no face struggles with
discrimination, and he even declared that:
I’d love to do an honest day’s work like a normal man providing for his family. It would make me so proud, but no one will give me a chance. I have to beg and hope people take pity on me so that I can feed my family.
Sadly, when people pass him by indifferently it’s
a firtuate event, because most people spit on him as they walk by… (very mature
of them…):
“Three young girls walked past me once and they spat at my feet and ran away with scarves covering their mouths. I was so embarrassed. “I was shocked at how cruel they were. I felt very depressed for days. But I had to pick myself up and get on with it.”
You
might think that a man such as Mohammad Latif Khatana is very lonely, and you’d
mostly be right… but luckily, four years ago, the man with no face met the man
of his life, Salima. You can imagine how hard it was for his parents to find a
wife for him, but Salima was perfect. She was born with a missing leg.
Practically, they believe they were born incomplete just to find each other and
be complete as one. They married in a traditional Muslim summer ceremony with
400 guests, in August 2008, and have been very happy ever since.
Latif, now lives hidden from plain eyes, high in
the mountains with his 25-year-old wife Salima, in Tuli Bana, in Jammu and
Kashmir. Due to his disability, Mohammad is forced to travel to Srinagar over a
period of four months in order to beg and provide money for his family. And by
family, we don’t just mean his wife, we also mean a yet unborn son. Salima is
seven months pregnant with their first child, but they both fear the worst:
I feel a little normal now I have a wife, a little more complete than I did before. And now that she is pregnant with our first child I am even happier. No matter how I look I am a happy man right now… I cannot wait to be a father and have some happiness in my life. But I worry every day and pray my child is not born like me
You may be wondering why Mohammad hasn’t seen a
doctor for his condition… well he did. Eight years ago, one of his brothers sold
a piece of land to fund Mahammad’s trip to a doctor, but sadly, the doctor said
that nothing can be done.
“And now there is so many veins going through my creases that surgery would be too dangerous. I have lost all hope of help. This is how I’ll look forever.”
Read more: http://www.vyperlook.com/odd-strange/man-with-no-face#ixzz29Kt9e8Gg
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Thursday, September 6, 2012
top 10 lazy dogs for owners
Too many people decide that they wanted a cutesy, wootsie little dog to love and then spend a ton of time and money picking out a perfect pooch. Then these people proceed to ignore the dog after a couple of months when the novelty wears off and they realize that a dog is work.
I want to shake those people and scream: “A dog is not a lawn ornament or a household decoration!” In addition to the basics—water, food and shelter—a dog needs attention, affection, mental stimulation, grooming and physical activity.
So for those who insist on dog companionship but have no intention of taking 30-minute walks daily, spending weeks, or money, for training, or taking the dog to the groomers bi-weekly, I offer this list of low-maintenance dogs. (I know, some people really aren’t physically able to walk a dog everyday for whatever reason but would still like companionship. Ignore the “lazy” in the title and read on.)
Note: I am not in any way advocating that you neglect or ignore any dog. My point here is, please don’t adopt a high-energy Border Collie if you hate walking to the car or a high maintenance Shih Tzu if you barely brush your own hair. Bring home a dog that needs a tenth of the work for the same amount of love.
10. Bolognese
This breed was thought to have descended from dogs like the Bichon Frisé in southern Italy. The Bolognese became popular as a companion dog among royal courts and nobility of Spain, and other parts of Europe, up to the early 1800’s. This is a sturdy breed of Toy/Companion dogs without any particular genetic health problems. A Bolognese needs for:
Space – Minimal. A good apartment dog. This toy breed has a sturdy body and weighs 8 – 14 pounds, the size of a newborn.
Exercise – Low. A playful dog, but not highly active. Occasional walks are good.
Training – Low. This dog is smart and trainable. She may be reserved with strangers, but she gets along with kids and other animals.
Grooming – Moderate. This is a long hair breed with white hair. It mats up easily, but it doesn’t shed much and is actually considered hypoallergenic.
9. Japanese Chin
The Japanese Chin, also known as the Japanese Spaniel, is actually believed to have originated in China and brought to Japan as a gift from a Chinese emperor. It was a popular dog of Japanese royalty and was introduced in Europe in the 1800s. The Japanese Chin needs for:
Space – Low. This is a small dog not quite reaching a foot in height and weighing 8 to 11 pounds.
Training – Low. This is a smart, quiet, mild-mannered dog. The Chin gets along well with almost everyone, including strangers, other animals and children. They are also alert and sensitive to their surroundings.
Exercise – Low. This small dog is made for the lap. Plus, with its shorter muzzle, too much exercise could cause breathing and heat problems. Occasional short walks would do.
Grooming – Moderate. The Chin’s coat needs regular brushing/combing to maintain its appearance and avoid matting. And they do shed lightly year-round but are very clean and do not smell.
Cons – Difficult to housetrain during the first 4 months of life. Other health concerns include luxating patellas, heart problems, back problems, cataracts.
8. Greyhound
A racing dog on a list for 10 Best Dogs for Lazy Owners? A-ha, you learn something new all the time. Yes, they do sprint fast, but they are not high-energy dogs. In fact, Greyhounds have been referred as “Forty-five mile per hour couch potatoes.” Greyhounds have been around for some time, and can be traced to ancient Egypt and Greece and have often been used for hunting and herding throughout history. The Greyhound needs for:
Space – Low. Seriously. Yes, this is a larger dog (60 to 70 pounds as an adult and 2 1/2 feet high), but they can thrive in small spaces. Most Greyhounds are quiet, gentle animals, and actually make better “apartment dogs” than breeds that are smaller but more active.
Training – Low-ish. These dogs are rather obedient and get along well with strangers, school-aged children, and other dogs. You maybe should train or supervise them around smaller pet animals or very young children.
Exercise – Low to moderate. Yes, greyhounds are sprinters and they love running, but they do not require extensive exercise. A 20 to 30 minute walk many days will keep an adult Greyhound healthy.
Grooming – Low. She has a short, smooth coat and no undercoat. These are good dogs to have if you have allergies.
Cons – Some skin sensitivities and sensitive to extreme temperatures
7. Bullmastiff
Yes, a Bullmastiff, as in that super large dog, is pretty low maintenance. This powerful guard dog was developed in the mid-1800s as a cross between the English Mastiff and the Old English Bulldog. They were bred, not to attack intruders, but to stand in front of them or knock them down and hold them. For their size, they tend to be pretty low-energy dog. A Bullmastiff needs for:
Space – Low-ish. Because of its size (100 to 130 lbs, 21 to 27” in height), you do need enough space in the house just so the dog can move and lounge around. However, these are calm, low-key dogs and they actually do fine in apartments. And they do best when they live inside with the owner.
Training – Low. Some training is recommended just for walking the large dog so he doesn’t pull. This dog is very loyal to its family, even-tempered, calm and very tolerant of children. In fact, these dogs crave human attention and are quite affectionate.
Grooming – Low. It has a short, smooth coat that sheds little.
Exercise – Low to moderate. The Bullmastiff is a calm, low-energy dog—it’s even known to be a lazy dog, clearly OK with lying on the sofa. However, because he is such a large dog, obesity can be a concern. Occasional long walks are a good idea, but they can be leisurely, low-key walks.
Cons – Some tendencies for bloating, hip dysplasia, elbow dysplasia, and eye problems. Cannot tolerate extreme temperatures. Tendency to drool or slobber.
6. Pug
Originating in China, Pugs were probably used as royal gifts or for barter in China as well as Tibet and Japan, eventually making their way over to Europe. A Pug needs for:
Space – Low. This dog gets to about 18 pounds at the upper end of the scale (if not overfed!) and up to a foot in height. Perfect for apartment life.
Training – Low. Despite it pinched-looking face, Pug’s are typically affectionate dogs that enjoy children. They are also notoriously stubborn. Consider training if you seriously don’t want him on the couch, but he insists.
Grooming – Moderate. Here’s a drawback. While a relatively short-haired dog, Pugs tend to shed quite a bit. And, you do actually have to clean in those wrinkles occasionally to avoid irritation or infection.
Exercise – Way low. You really don’t want to exercise this dog too much. Because of the way the Pug’s head and face are built, they have very compact breathing passageways. This means they have trouble breathing if they overdo it and they have difficulty controlling their body temperature (dogs cool their temperature through panting). Definitely no strenuous exercise for the Pug and no outings where she might get really hot.
Cons – Snorer—don’t let her on the bed with you if you’re a light sleeper. Possible respiratory problems, hip dysplasia and encephalitis.
5. Glen of Imaal Terrier
The Glen of Imaal Terrier is a type of working dog from Ireland, bred for hunting vermin, badger-baiting and hunting fox. The Glen of Imaal Terrier needs for:
Space – Low-ish. This terrier gets up to 35 pounds (about the weight of a 2-year-old) and up to 14 inches long. This dog works well in apartments and houses with small yards.
Training – Low to moderate. Clever and highly trainable dog, Glen of Imaals get along well with people and kids, but may be yippy and territorial with other dogs. They also might see other household pets as game if the terrier is not socialized to get along.
Exercise – Low-ish. These terriers have short legs compared to their body, so they aren’t really built for running, jumping or other strenuous activities. Some short walks are still good for them, but he won’t stress you out everyday about it. In fact, it is said the Glen of Imaal Terriers tend to make up their own exercise, so if you have a yard, that would be good for them, too. (But have a good fence because they like to dig.)
Grooming – Low to moderate. A Glen’s outer coat will grow to 3-4″ if left unattended and it will matt, but this breed does not shed much.
4. Bulldog
Bulldogs were originally bred in the 1600s to hold bulls for butchers, and later used for fighting, or “bullbaiting”. When fighting was outlawed, breeders bred Bulldogs with gentler temperaments to soften the breed. A Bulldog needs for:
Space – Low. A small but muscular dog, weighing in at 40 – 50 pounds, apartment living is fine, but avoid this breed if you have back problems.
Training – Low. An affectionate and very loyal dog, Bulldogs get along well with people, kids and other house pets.
Grooming – Low. A short hair dog, but they do require wrinkle cleaning of the folds on their face.
Exercise – Not a particularly active breed. However, these dogs can easily become obese, so a little exercise is good. Low intensity exercise only, like casual walks is recommended. In fact, because of its short muzzle, heavy exercise and exercise in hot weather can be a health hazard.
3. Puggle
A Puggle is considered a recent crossbreed (sometimes known as a “designer dog”) that is a mix of a Pug and a Beagle. He or she may be an original mix or a second or third generation. Puggles are low maintenance dogs that make excellent house pets. A Puggle needs for:
Space – Low. Puggles are smaller dogs (15 – 30 lbs, up to 15” in height), good for apartment or house life.
Training – Low. Puggles are laid-back and cheerful. They are sturdy and playful, but also affectionate, lap dogs. They pretty much get along everyone including children, other dogs and other family pets. They are also very loyal and eager to please their owners.
Exercise – Lowish. These dogs do have a little energy to work off (the Beagle in them) so occasional walks or a romp in the yard is good. On the other side, Puggles tire quickly and like to kick back. Additionally, because of its shorter nasal cavity (inherited from the Pug), long or strenuous workouts are a big no-no. This can cause trouble breathing or controlling body temperature.
Grooming – Low to moderate. They are generally low maintenance, but they shed quite a bit, especially in the spring. They may also need wrinkle cleaning depending how much Pug they inherited.
Cons –Because of the shorter nasal cavity, Puggles are a little more susceptible to heat stroke.
2. Rat Terrier
Sometimes also known as an American hairless terrier, the Rat Terrier was bred to control, guess what, rats…and any other vermin or game they could catch. Originally bred in England, they were common farm dogs in the US in the early 1900s and Teddy Roosevelt hunted with them often. A Rat Terrier needs for:
Space – Low. The upper weight limit for this guy is 25 pounds and a foot tall or less. Practically shoebox size. There is also a Miniature Rat Terrier that is under one foot and under 10 pounds.
Training – Low. Rat Terriers are friendly dogs that get along well with everyone: strangers, children, dogs, cats. They are generally cheerful but they can be very sensitive to changes in their environment, like increased activity or its owner’s mood. If you want to train him, he is very smart.
Exercise – Low. They love lounging on the sofa or in a lap as much as tearing about the yard. Some occasional exercise, walking or playing in the yard, will occupy them.
Grooming – Low. These dogs have a smooth coat with little shedding.
1. Chihuahua
The Chihuahua is the smallest breed of dog in the world, named after the state of Chihuahua in Mexico, where it was discovered in 1850. Its breeding origins are uncertain, but assumed to be descendants of dogs of Chinese or Spanish explorers. A Chihuahua needs for:
Space – Minimal. Pretty much an indoor dog, 2 – 6 pounds, up to 9 inches high, can fit in your purse.
Training – Low. However, if you have other animals or kids, consider another dog or you may have a nervous breakdown on your hands. Chihuahua are fiercely loyal to one person but are often considered high-strung.
Grooming – Low. Both the short-hair and long-hair types require minimal grooming.
Exercise – Minimal. An occasional walkie is nice. But do not let them become overweight as it brings on serious health problems for this small breed.
Cons – Chihuahuas are also prone to some genetic anomalies such as epilepsy and seizure disorders, hypoglycemia, heart problems, or collapsed trachea.
Contributor: Tracy from Exercise My Dog
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