Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
A Father's Love
A Father's Love
Is a Warm Embrace,
Or a Quick Hug
A Glowing Smile, and Your Wit and Wisdom...
A Fathers Love is a Walk in the Park
On a Hot Summer Day
A Drive in the Car, Down that Windy dirt Road
A Fathers Love is in the Poem Written
To 'A Friend or Daughter,'
In the Special Words That Come Only From a Father...
A Fathers Love is in Fun Times Together
Camping under the Trees
Enjoying a picnic, and Walking through the Leaves...
A Fathers Love is Faith in His Family
High Hopes and Dreams, And Pleasure in Doing
'What Ever It Takes'...
A Fathers Love is a Kiss on the Cheek
Or a Friendly Hand Shake
My Idol for Life, 'I Will Treasure Dearly'
Is a Warm Embrace,
Or a Quick Hug
A Glowing Smile, and Your Wit and Wisdom...
A Fathers Love is a Walk in the Park
On a Hot Summer Day
A Drive in the Car, Down that Windy dirt Road
A Fathers Love is in the Poem Written
To 'A Friend or Daughter,'
In the Special Words That Come Only From a Father...
A Fathers Love is in Fun Times Together
Camping under the Trees
Enjoying a picnic, and Walking through the Leaves...
A Fathers Love is Faith in His Family
High Hopes and Dreams, And Pleasure in Doing
'What Ever It Takes'...
A Fathers Love is a Kiss on the Cheek
Or a Friendly Hand Shake
My Idol for Life, 'I Will Treasure Dearly'
Sunday, August 28, 2011
DIVORCE versus MURDER
DIVORCE versus MURDER
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said,
"I'd like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law!
I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said,
"I'd like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law!
I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Jamaican Maths Test
Jamaican Maths Test
A Jamaican man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test.
"Here is your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" The Jamaican says, "Dat is easy." And proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this ? " the boss asks "Ave you got no brains?"
"Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Jamaican.
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Jamaican stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go."
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Jamaican, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
The Jamaican stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."
The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Jamaican leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog come along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes one hundred."
"So, when do I start ?!"
A Jamaican man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test.
"Here is your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" The Jamaican says, "Dat is easy." And proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this ? " the boss asks "Ave you got no brains?"
"Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Jamaican.
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Jamaican stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go."
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Jamaican, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
The Jamaican stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."
The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Jamaican leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog come along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes one hundred."
"So, when do I start ?!"
Monday, August 1, 2011
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