Square Testicles
An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.
The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money . The elderly woman replied that she made bets.
The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?'
The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you
$25,000 that your testicles are square.'
The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.
The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?'
'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.'
'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 ' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently.
That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that
there was no way he could lose the bet.
The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square.
The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.
The president was happy to oblige.
The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them.. 'Of course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.'
The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Royal Bank of Canada!'
The origin of this Canadian story is unknown but it brings luck to everyone to whom it is sent. Whoever breaks the chain would definitely be unlucky.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
50 things that changed lives
50 things that changed lives
BLACKBERRIES: Considered essential by corporate CEOs and moms planning playdates. --
NEW YORK - WAS it only a decade ago that a blackberry was a mere warm season fruit? That green was, well, a colour, and reality TV was that one show sandwiched between music videos on MTV?
There were, of course, huge political and social upheavals that roiled the world in the past decade, but there also were the gradual lifestyle changes that people do not always notice when they are happening; kind of like watching a child grow older.
Here is an alphabetical look at 50 things that changed our lives since the beginning of the millennium:
AIRPORTS: Remember when you did not have to take off your shoes before getting on a plane? Remember when you could bring a bottled drink on board? Political terror changed all that.
ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE: From acupuncture to herbal supplements to alternative ways of treating cancer, alternative medicine became more mainstream than ever.
APPS: There is an app for that! The phrase comes from Apple iPhone advertising, but could apply to the entire decade's gadget explosion, from laptops to GPS systems (want your car to give you directions to Mom's house in Chinese, or by a Frenchwoman named Virginie? There was an app for that.)
AARP (American Association for Retired People) cards ... for baby boomers! Some prominent Americans turned 50 this decade: the pop singers Madonna and Prince. Comic Ellen DeGeneres. The Smurfs. Michael Jackson, the King of Pop - who also died at 50. And some prominent 'early boomers' turned 60: Rocker Bruce Springsteen and actress Meryl Streep, for example.
AGING: Nobody seemed to look their age anymore: Clothes for 50-year-old women started looking more like clothes for 18-year-olds, tweens looked more like teens, long hair was popular for all ages, and in many ways women's fashion seemed to morph into one single age group.
BLOG: I blog, you blog, he blogs ... How did we spend our time before blogging? There are more than 100 million of these Web logs out there in cyberspace.
BLACKBERRIES: Considered essential by corporate CEOs and moms planning playdates. Introduced in 2002, the smartphone version is now used by more than 28 million people, according to its maker, Research In Motion Ltd.
BOOK CLUBS: Thanks in part to TV personality and business mogul Oprah Winfrey, the decade saw not only a profusion in book discussion clubs but a growing reliance on them by publishers.
CABLE: Cable 24-hour news made the evening network news seem quaint, cable dramas reaped Emmys ... and at decade's end, even Oprah was making the move to cable.
CAMERAS: Remember those trips to get film developed? Nope? Even your grandmother has a digital camera, and she is probably e-mailing you photos right now or uploading them to a photo-sharing site.
CELEBRITY CULTURE: Celebrity magazines fed a growing obsession with celebrities and the everyday minutiae of their lives. By decade's end, Americans still were obsessed, though Britney Spears and Angelina Jolie had ceded many covers to reality stars like Jon and Kate Gosselin. Celebrity Web sites like TMZ took hold mid-decade.
CELL PHONES: Cell phones are now used by more than 85 per cent of the US population and for some have replaced land lines. On the downside, they have made cheating on a spouse more difficult - just ask Tiger Woods.
CHEFS: Chefs are hot! The Food Network, whose viewership tripled this decade, reeled in viewers with high-voltage personalities like Rachael Ray and Bobby Flay, Emeril Lagasse and Giada De Laurentis. Meryl Streep starred in a cinematic pean to the late Julia Child.
CONNECTIVITY: As in, we are all expected to be connected, wirelessly, all the time. Boss e-mails you on a Sunday? Better answer, because unless you are off in Antarctica, you have no excuse.
COUGARS: A new TV series called 'Cougar Town' focuses on a phenomenon that gained its name this decade: women dating younger men.
CROCS: Those ubiquitous plastic clogs debuted in 2002 and became the shoes you loved to hate. Kids love 'em, but there are Web groups dedicated to their destruction. Not to be deterred: First lady Michelle Obama, who wore them on vacation in 2009.
DANCING: Dancing never went out of style, but this decade saw the huge popularity of dancing contests like 'So You Think You Can Dance' and 'Dancing With the Stars'.
DATING: Dating was transformed like everything else by Internet sites, rendering other ways of meeting people obsolete. And it was not just the territory of the relatively young - seniors found love online, too.
DVRs: Suddenly, DVR-ing is a verb, and what it means is this - there's no reason to know anymore what channel your program is on, and what time.
EMBARRASSMENT ENTERTAINMENT: Embarrassment has always been part of comedy - you need only think of Don Rickles - but this is the decade of cringe-worthy Larry David in 'Curb Your Enthusiasm', Ricky Gervais, and of course Sacha Baron Cohen, who as Borat and Bruno shamed perhaps the entire country.
FACEBOOK: Can you believe this social networking site was once limited only to Harvard students? Now it is a time-sucking obsession for more than 300 million users globally and a whole new form of social etiquette. Whom to friend on Facebook?
FAT: This was the decade that fat became the enemy of the state. New York City banned trans fats, and Alabama - second in national obesity rankings - introduced a tax on overweight state workers.
FOODIE: It is not just that guy in the White House who liked arugula - this was the decade of the foodie, when we all developed gourmet palates. Even a burger became a gourmet item - as in Daniel Boulud's truffle burger, stuffed with foie gras and short ribs.
GOING GREEN: From the kind of light bulbs we use to the kind of shopping bags we carry to the cars we drive, 'going green' took hold this decade. Now, it is not strange to hear a schoolchild tell a parent to use a cloth grocery bag.
GOOGLE: This was the decade that Google became a part of our brain function. You know that guy who was in that movie - when was it? Just Google it.
GPS: We cannot get lost anymore - or at least it is pretty difficult, with the ubiquitous GPS systems. But you had better type in your location carefully: One couple made a 400-mile mistake this year by typing 'Carpi' rather than 'Capri'.
HELICOPTER PARENTING: Translation - helicopters hover, and so do many parents. After years of obsessive attention to safety and achievement of the youngest children, some said a backlash was under way.
INFORMATION OVERLOAD: An explosion in Internet use led to an overload of information about practically everything. It is at our fingertips, but is it accurate? Some call it part of a larger phenomenon, namely ...
INSTANT GRATIFICATION: Otherwise known as being able to get anything you want within an instant. Often referred to as a theme of the decade.
IPODS: An icon of the digital age, it is hard to believe this portable media player was launched in 2001. Six years later the 100 millionth iPod was sold.
LIFE COACHES: In the aughts, there was a coach for everything! So why not life itself? Some say life coaches are merely therapists without the license or regulations.
MUSICALS: They have been around forever, but this decade musicals came back to film, starting with 'Moulin Rouge' and 'Chicago'. But for kids, it was Disney's extremely successful 'High School Musical' franchise - three movies and counting - that brought back the musical magic.
NETFLIX: The DVD by mail service, established in 1997, announced its two-billionth DVD delivery this year. For many, those discs on top of the TV are just one more thing to procrastinate over.
ORGANIC: Americans rushed to fill their grocery carts with organic food, making it big business - now a US$21 billion (S$30 million) industry, up from $3.6 billion in 1997. At decade's end, Michelle Obama planted the first White House organic vegetable garden.
PREGNANCY CHIC: If you've got it, flaunt it: That was the new ethos of the pregnancy experience, with chic clothes that emphasised the bulging belly, personal pregnancy photos, and endless coverage of celebrity pregnancies.
REALITY TV: As a nation, we became addicted to reality TV, from the feuding Gosselins of 'Jon & Kate Plus 8' to 'American Idol' to 'Project Runway'. At decade's end, the Heenes of Balloon Boy fame and the Salahis of gate crashing fame give reality TV some unwanted attention.
RECESSION CHIC: Fashion skewed to more severe styles, and much black, as so-called 'recession chic' took hold in the latter part of the decade.
RETRO CHIC: Once you forget the smoking, the racism, the sexism and the homophobia, the early 1960s depicted by the AMC series 'Mad Men' sure looked good. The swinging Madison Avenue ad men make neckties cool again.
SEXTING: Combine texting with a cell phone's camera function and you get this parental nightmare. A survey from Pew Research Center's Internet & American Life Project found that 15 per cent of teens ages 12-17 with a cell phone had received sexually suggestive images or videos.
STARBUCKS: It is a cliche that there is one on every block, but sometimes it seemed like it, and millions now consider it normal to spend $4 or so on a coffee drink in the morning, perhaps a venti half-caf half-decaf vanilla latte with an extra shot.
TATTOOS: It started innocently enough - maybe a butterfly on the shoulder or a tribal symbol on the bicep. A few characters from the Chinese alphabet later, it seemed any hipster who really meant it had a full sleeve of tattoos. The trend extended to middle-aged moms and even 'tween idol Miley Cyrus.
TEXTING: R u still rding this sty? Hope u r. This is the decade we start communicating in the shorthand of text messages. Get used to it, e-mail is so '00s.
TV SCREENS: Television screens became bigger and flatter, making some ordinary living rooms and dens the equivalent of big-studio screening rooms. At the same time, though, people were watching movies and videos on the tiniest screens imaginable, their iPods or other mobile devices.
'TWEEN CULTURE: 'Tweens, especially girls, became an economic force to be reckoned with, buying everything from clothes to electronic devices to music to concert tickets.
TWITTER: The new social network introduced tweets, retweets, follows and trending topics, as long as the message fit into 140 characters.
UGGS: Not since the Croc (see above) has functional footwear created such a frenzy. The fur-lined snowboots were everywhere, no matter the climate. Los Angelenos insisted on wearing them with shorts.
WII: In a sea of ever-more-sophisticated video games, this simple console became the decade's breakout hit by appealing to the nongaming masses. Wiis became a center of family gaming, home fitness and even senior socializing.
WIKIPEDIA: A boon to lazy students everywhere, the open-source encyclopedia used the masses to police its entries and keep them (mostly) (sometimes) accurate.
YOGA: Madonna, Gwyneth and other bendy celebrities brought the eastern practice mainstream. By the end of the decade, even Grandma could do downward-facing dogs on her Wii Fit.
YOUTUBE: Let's end this list and go kill some time by watching ... YouTube videos! The video-sharing site was born in 2005. Political candidates in 2008 even had their on YouTube channels. The most popular video yet - 'Charlie Bit My Finger', in which baby Charlie bites the finger of his brother Harry. -- AP
BLACKBERRIES: Considered essential by corporate CEOs and moms planning playdates. --
NEW YORK - WAS it only a decade ago that a blackberry was a mere warm season fruit? That green was, well, a colour, and reality TV was that one show sandwiched between music videos on MTV?
There were, of course, huge political and social upheavals that roiled the world in the past decade, but there also were the gradual lifestyle changes that people do not always notice when they are happening; kind of like watching a child grow older.
Here is an alphabetical look at 50 things that changed our lives since the beginning of the millennium:
AIRPORTS: Remember when you did not have to take off your shoes before getting on a plane? Remember when you could bring a bottled drink on board? Political terror changed all that.
ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE: From acupuncture to herbal supplements to alternative ways of treating cancer, alternative medicine became more mainstream than ever.
APPS: There is an app for that! The phrase comes from Apple iPhone advertising, but could apply to the entire decade's gadget explosion, from laptops to GPS systems (want your car to give you directions to Mom's house in Chinese, or by a Frenchwoman named Virginie? There was an app for that.)
AARP (American Association for Retired People) cards ... for baby boomers! Some prominent Americans turned 50 this decade: the pop singers Madonna and Prince. Comic Ellen DeGeneres. The Smurfs. Michael Jackson, the King of Pop - who also died at 50. And some prominent 'early boomers' turned 60: Rocker Bruce Springsteen and actress Meryl Streep, for example.
AGING: Nobody seemed to look their age anymore: Clothes for 50-year-old women started looking more like clothes for 18-year-olds, tweens looked more like teens, long hair was popular for all ages, and in many ways women's fashion seemed to morph into one single age group.
BLOG: I blog, you blog, he blogs ... How did we spend our time before blogging? There are more than 100 million of these Web logs out there in cyberspace.
BLACKBERRIES: Considered essential by corporate CEOs and moms planning playdates. Introduced in 2002, the smartphone version is now used by more than 28 million people, according to its maker, Research In Motion Ltd.
BOOK CLUBS: Thanks in part to TV personality and business mogul Oprah Winfrey, the decade saw not only a profusion in book discussion clubs but a growing reliance on them by publishers.
CABLE: Cable 24-hour news made the evening network news seem quaint, cable dramas reaped Emmys ... and at decade's end, even Oprah was making the move to cable.
CAMERAS: Remember those trips to get film developed? Nope? Even your grandmother has a digital camera, and she is probably e-mailing you photos right now or uploading them to a photo-sharing site.
CELEBRITY CULTURE: Celebrity magazines fed a growing obsession with celebrities and the everyday minutiae of their lives. By decade's end, Americans still were obsessed, though Britney Spears and Angelina Jolie had ceded many covers to reality stars like Jon and Kate Gosselin. Celebrity Web sites like TMZ took hold mid-decade.
CELL PHONES: Cell phones are now used by more than 85 per cent of the US population and for some have replaced land lines. On the downside, they have made cheating on a spouse more difficult - just ask Tiger Woods.
CHEFS: Chefs are hot! The Food Network, whose viewership tripled this decade, reeled in viewers with high-voltage personalities like Rachael Ray and Bobby Flay, Emeril Lagasse and Giada De Laurentis. Meryl Streep starred in a cinematic pean to the late Julia Child.
CONNECTIVITY: As in, we are all expected to be connected, wirelessly, all the time. Boss e-mails you on a Sunday? Better answer, because unless you are off in Antarctica, you have no excuse.
COUGARS: A new TV series called 'Cougar Town' focuses on a phenomenon that gained its name this decade: women dating younger men.
CROCS: Those ubiquitous plastic clogs debuted in 2002 and became the shoes you loved to hate. Kids love 'em, but there are Web groups dedicated to their destruction. Not to be deterred: First lady Michelle Obama, who wore them on vacation in 2009.
DANCING: Dancing never went out of style, but this decade saw the huge popularity of dancing contests like 'So You Think You Can Dance' and 'Dancing With the Stars'.
DATING: Dating was transformed like everything else by Internet sites, rendering other ways of meeting people obsolete. And it was not just the territory of the relatively young - seniors found love online, too.
DVRs: Suddenly, DVR-ing is a verb, and what it means is this - there's no reason to know anymore what channel your program is on, and what time.
EMBARRASSMENT ENTERTAINMENT: Embarrassment has always been part of comedy - you need only think of Don Rickles - but this is the decade of cringe-worthy Larry David in 'Curb Your Enthusiasm', Ricky Gervais, and of course Sacha Baron Cohen, who as Borat and Bruno shamed perhaps the entire country.
FACEBOOK: Can you believe this social networking site was once limited only to Harvard students? Now it is a time-sucking obsession for more than 300 million users globally and a whole new form of social etiquette. Whom to friend on Facebook?
FAT: This was the decade that fat became the enemy of the state. New York City banned trans fats, and Alabama - second in national obesity rankings - introduced a tax on overweight state workers.
FOODIE: It is not just that guy in the White House who liked arugula - this was the decade of the foodie, when we all developed gourmet palates. Even a burger became a gourmet item - as in Daniel Boulud's truffle burger, stuffed with foie gras and short ribs.
GOING GREEN: From the kind of light bulbs we use to the kind of shopping bags we carry to the cars we drive, 'going green' took hold this decade. Now, it is not strange to hear a schoolchild tell a parent to use a cloth grocery bag.
GOOGLE: This was the decade that Google became a part of our brain function. You know that guy who was in that movie - when was it? Just Google it.
GPS: We cannot get lost anymore - or at least it is pretty difficult, with the ubiquitous GPS systems. But you had better type in your location carefully: One couple made a 400-mile mistake this year by typing 'Carpi' rather than 'Capri'.
HELICOPTER PARENTING: Translation - helicopters hover, and so do many parents. After years of obsessive attention to safety and achievement of the youngest children, some said a backlash was under way.
INFORMATION OVERLOAD: An explosion in Internet use led to an overload of information about practically everything. It is at our fingertips, but is it accurate? Some call it part of a larger phenomenon, namely ...
INSTANT GRATIFICATION: Otherwise known as being able to get anything you want within an instant. Often referred to as a theme of the decade.
IPODS: An icon of the digital age, it is hard to believe this portable media player was launched in 2001. Six years later the 100 millionth iPod was sold.
LIFE COACHES: In the aughts, there was a coach for everything! So why not life itself? Some say life coaches are merely therapists without the license or regulations.
MUSICALS: They have been around forever, but this decade musicals came back to film, starting with 'Moulin Rouge' and 'Chicago'. But for kids, it was Disney's extremely successful 'High School Musical' franchise - three movies and counting - that brought back the musical magic.
NETFLIX: The DVD by mail service, established in 1997, announced its two-billionth DVD delivery this year. For many, those discs on top of the TV are just one more thing to procrastinate over.
ORGANIC: Americans rushed to fill their grocery carts with organic food, making it big business - now a US$21 billion (S$30 million) industry, up from $3.6 billion in 1997. At decade's end, Michelle Obama planted the first White House organic vegetable garden.
PREGNANCY CHIC: If you've got it, flaunt it: That was the new ethos of the pregnancy experience, with chic clothes that emphasised the bulging belly, personal pregnancy photos, and endless coverage of celebrity pregnancies.
REALITY TV: As a nation, we became addicted to reality TV, from the feuding Gosselins of 'Jon & Kate Plus 8' to 'American Idol' to 'Project Runway'. At decade's end, the Heenes of Balloon Boy fame and the Salahis of gate crashing fame give reality TV some unwanted attention.
RECESSION CHIC: Fashion skewed to more severe styles, and much black, as so-called 'recession chic' took hold in the latter part of the decade.
RETRO CHIC: Once you forget the smoking, the racism, the sexism and the homophobia, the early 1960s depicted by the AMC series 'Mad Men' sure looked good. The swinging Madison Avenue ad men make neckties cool again.
SEXTING: Combine texting with a cell phone's camera function and you get this parental nightmare. A survey from Pew Research Center's Internet & American Life Project found that 15 per cent of teens ages 12-17 with a cell phone had received sexually suggestive images or videos.
STARBUCKS: It is a cliche that there is one on every block, but sometimes it seemed like it, and millions now consider it normal to spend $4 or so on a coffee drink in the morning, perhaps a venti half-caf half-decaf vanilla latte with an extra shot.
TATTOOS: It started innocently enough - maybe a butterfly on the shoulder or a tribal symbol on the bicep. A few characters from the Chinese alphabet later, it seemed any hipster who really meant it had a full sleeve of tattoos. The trend extended to middle-aged moms and even 'tween idol Miley Cyrus.
TEXTING: R u still rding this sty? Hope u r. This is the decade we start communicating in the shorthand of text messages. Get used to it, e-mail is so '00s.
TV SCREENS: Television screens became bigger and flatter, making some ordinary living rooms and dens the equivalent of big-studio screening rooms. At the same time, though, people were watching movies and videos on the tiniest screens imaginable, their iPods or other mobile devices.
'TWEEN CULTURE: 'Tweens, especially girls, became an economic force to be reckoned with, buying everything from clothes to electronic devices to music to concert tickets.
TWITTER: The new social network introduced tweets, retweets, follows and trending topics, as long as the message fit into 140 characters.
UGGS: Not since the Croc (see above) has functional footwear created such a frenzy. The fur-lined snowboots were everywhere, no matter the climate. Los Angelenos insisted on wearing them with shorts.
WII: In a sea of ever-more-sophisticated video games, this simple console became the decade's breakout hit by appealing to the nongaming masses. Wiis became a center of family gaming, home fitness and even senior socializing.
WIKIPEDIA: A boon to lazy students everywhere, the open-source encyclopedia used the masses to police its entries and keep them (mostly) (sometimes) accurate.
YOGA: Madonna, Gwyneth and other bendy celebrities brought the eastern practice mainstream. By the end of the decade, even Grandma could do downward-facing dogs on her Wii Fit.
YOUTUBE: Let's end this list and go kill some time by watching ... YouTube videos! The video-sharing site was born in 2005. Political candidates in 2008 even had their on YouTube channels. The most popular video yet - 'Charlie Bit My Finger', in which baby Charlie bites the finger of his brother Harry. -- AP
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Mr Hamburger
friendly Mr. Hamburger seems.
And we don't want to upset mr. fries with that now do we?
Add a pickle and it's a balanced nutritional meal.
free games downloads
http://www.download-free-games.com/war_game_download/worms2.htm
http://www.download-free-games.com/download/cat/rpg/
http://www.download-free-games.com/download/cat/war_strategy/
http://www.download-free-games.com/download/cat/rpg/
http://www.download-free-games.com/download/cat/war_strategy/
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Sisqo - Incomplete ;Wonder Girls - Nobody performance
Sisqo - Incomplete
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6qqS9mbdY4&feature=player_embedded
Wonder Girls - Nobody performance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFjP-OJ7Bh4&feature=fvw
Wonder Girl-Nobody
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqtzQkoJS_k&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6qqS9mbdY4&feature=player_embedded
Wonder Girls - Nobody performance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFjP-OJ7Bh4&feature=fvw
Wonder Girl-Nobody
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqtzQkoJS_k&feature=related
Inspirational Story :Monkey and the Dolphin.
Inspirational Story :Monkey and the Dolphin.
One day long ago, some sailors set out to sea in their sailing ship. One of them brought his pet monkey along for the long journey.
When they were far out at sea, a terrible storm overturned their ship. Everyone fell into the sea, and the monkey was sure that he would drown. Suddenly a dolphin appeared and picked him up.
They soon reached the island and the monkey came down from the dolphin's back. The dolphin asked the monkey, "Do you know this place?"
The monkey replied, "Yes, I do. In fact, the king of the island is my best friend. Do you know that I am actually a prince?"
Knowing that no one lived on the island, the dolphin said, "Well, well, so you are a prince! Now you can be a king!"
The monkey asked, "How can I be a king?"
As the dolphin started swimming away, he answered, "That is easy.. As you are the only creature on this island, you will naturally be the king!"
MORAL: Those who lie and Boast may end up in trouble.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Things to do in the bathroom stall...
Things to do in the bathroom stall...
1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbour, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5. Drop a marble and say, "oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"
6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place six to eight feet. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbours while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"
11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters.
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbour. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"
13. Say. "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"
14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"
15. Say, "Darn, I Knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbour and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"
20. When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say "You got any more toilet paper over there, This side's completely out."
Source: http://www.101funjokes.com/fun_jokes.htm
1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbour, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5. Drop a marble and say, "oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"
6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place six to eight feet. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbours while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"
11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters.
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbour. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"
13. Say. "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"
14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"
15. Say, "Darn, I Knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbour and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"
20. When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say "You got any more toilet paper over there, This side's completely out."
Source: http://www.101funjokes.com/fun_jokes.htm
Why E-mail Is Like a Penis
Why E-mail Is Like a Penis
1. Some people have it, some don't.
2. Those who have it would be devastated if it were cut off.
3. It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.
4. Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.
5. If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.
6. It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours.
7. We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.
8. If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.
9. It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself, "Why on earth did I do that?"
It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will do the same damn dumb things it did before.
from http://www.101funjokes.com/penis_jokes_7.htm
1. Some people have it, some don't.
2. Those who have it would be devastated if it were cut off.
3. It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.
4. Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.
5. If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.
6. It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours.
7. We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.
8. If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.
9. It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself, "Why on earth did I do that?"
It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will do the same damn dumb things it did before.
from http://www.101funjokes.com/penis_jokes_7.htm
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Dear Dad! Gold Ferrari 599GT
An Arab student sends an e-mail to his dad, saying:
Dear Dad
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GT when all my teachers and many fellow student travel by train.
Your son,
Nasser
The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:
My dear loving son
Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us.
Go and get yourself a train too.
Love,
your Dad
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
SMS Jokes
What is fashion designing?
Too many brains,
with too many ideas,
working on too little pieces of cloth..
to cover 2 little tits of a model.
Reverse Dynamics:
When a man becomes rich he becomes
naughty & when a woman becomes
naughty, she becomes rich!
Touch it gently...
Put ur finger inside..
If da hole is big put three fingers..
Rub it up & down gently.......
that's the right way of
washing the glass!!!
Women is the best vehicle in the world.
Front - 2 bumpers!
Back - 2 bumpers!
Self lubricating when hot!
Monthly automatic engine oil change!
Every type of piston fits!
Its funny when people discuss over "love
marriage" and "arrange
marriage"
It is like asking a person if he would like
to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".
http://www.coolsms.page.tl/Great-Old-Jokes.htm
Too many brains,
with too many ideas,
working on too little pieces of cloth..
to cover 2 little tits of a model.
Reverse Dynamics:
When a man becomes rich he becomes
naughty & when a woman becomes
naughty, she becomes rich!
Touch it gently...
Put ur finger inside..
If da hole is big put three fingers..
Rub it up & down gently.......
that's the right way of
washing the glass!!!
Women is the best vehicle in the world.
Front - 2 bumpers!
Back - 2 bumpers!
Self lubricating when hot!
Monthly automatic engine oil change!
Every type of piston fits!
Its funny when people discuss over "love
marriage" and "arrange
marriage"
It is like asking a person if he would like
to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".
http://www.coolsms.page.tl/Great-Old-Jokes.htm
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Political Experiment?
Political Experiment?
http://papundits.wordpress.com/2010/07/09/political-experiment/
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
The Best Use Of The Mind
The Best Use Of The Mind
We have at the present time a number of metaphysical systems, and though they differ considerably in many respects they all produce practically the same results. We find that no one system is more successful than the others, and yet they are all so remarkably successful that modern metaphysics is rapidly becoming one of the most popular studies of today. The real secret of all these systems is found in their power to draw consciousness more deeply into the realization of the absolute.
The absolute is unconditioned; therefore the more deeply consciousness enters the absolute the less conscious will the mind become of conditions. That is, the mind will be emancipated more and more from conditions as it grows into the realization of that which is unconditioned, or rather above conditions.
Any method that will tend to develop in the mind the consciousness of the absolute will produce emancipation from physical or mental ills, the reason being that there are no ills in the absolute, and it is not possible for the mind to be conscious of ills when it is in the consciousness of that which is absolutely free from ills. In other words, the mind cannot be in darkness, weakness or disease when it is in light, power and health.
Although it is not exact science to state that all is mind, because it can easily be proven that all is not mind; nevertheless, the statement that all is mind has a tendency to resolve consciousness into the allness of infinite mind, that is, the mind of the absolute. This will eliminate from the personal mind the consciousness of personal limitations and thus produce the realization of the absolute, that state of being that is free from conditions. It will also cause the personal mind to function in the consciousness of its unity with the impersonal mind which again is the infinite mind.
In like manner it is not scientific to deny the existence of matter, because matter does exist. Nevertheless the persistent denial of the existence of matter has a tendency to eliminate from mind the consciousness of shape and form, also the limitations and the conditions of shape and form. The result will be a certain degree of emancipation from conditions, and accordingly the ills that may have existed in those conditions will disappear.
Return to top
The purpose of metaphysical methods is to prevent superficial mental action by deepening thought into the understanding of real action; that is, to prevent bondage to the limitations of form by awakening the consciousness of that limitless life that animates all form, and also to prevent the creation of imperfect conditions by producing in the mind the realization of absolutely perfect states. Any method that will tend to promote these objects in view will prove healthful to a degree in producing personal emancipation from sickness, adversity or want; but if the method is not strictly scientific its value will be very limited, and will prove to be nothing more than a temporary aid in the lesser aspects of life.
In this connection we must remember that no metaphysical method can fully promote the purpose in view unless it recognizes the reality of the whole universe and aims to produce advancement in every individual expression of universal life. However, every method is at first incomplete, therefore not strictly scientific. But to be scientific we must give everything due credit for what it is doing, no matter how limited it may be in its personal power.
To awaken the consciousness of the real, the unconditioned and the absolute, it is not necessary to declare that all is mind, nor is it necessary to deny the existence of matter. On the contrary, such methods should be avoided, because they will prove detrimental to the highest development of the individual if employed for any length of time. And we realize that our purpose is not simply to emancipate man from the ordinary ills of personal life, but also to develop man to the very highest heights of real greatness.
Return to top
There is a world of absolute reality that exists within and about all things. It permeates all things and surrounds all things. It is an infinite sea in which all things live and move and have their being. It is the source of everything, and being limitless can give limitless life and power to anything. All science recognizes this world of absolute reality, and it is the purpose of metaphysics, that is, the best use of the mind, to gain that understanding that will enable any individual to place himself in perfect conscious touch with that world. This absolute reality is the perfect state of being upon which all individual being is based. Therefore the more perfectly conscious the individual becomes of the absolute, the less imperfection there will be in the life of the individual. And when individual consciousness is completely resolved in absolute consciousness, the cosmic state is realized -a state with such marvelous beauty and such indescribable joy that it is worth a thousand ages of pain to come within its gates for just one single moment.
To develop the consciousness of the absolute and to grow steadily into the realization of the reality of perfect being the fundamental essential is to live habitually in the metaphysical attitude. This is a distinct attitude, by far the most desirable attitude of the mind, and comes as a natural result of the mind's discernment of the existence, the reality and the absoluteness of the universal sea of unconditioned life. This attitude is emancipating because it removes the imperfect by resolving the mind into the consciousness of the perfect. It produces the realization of the real and thus floods human life with the light of the real, that light that invariably dispels all darkness, whether it be ignorance, adversity, want, weakness, illusion or evil in any form or condition.
The secret of all metaphysical methods of cure is found in the peculiar power of the metaphysical attitude. To enter this attitude is to resolve mind in the consciousness of the absolute, and since there is no sickness in the absolute it is not possible for any mind to feel sickness while in the consciousness of the absolute. For this reason any method that will cause the mind to enter the metaphysical attitude will give that mind the power to heal physical or mental ailments. However, it is not the method that heals. It is that peculiar power or consciousness that comes when the mind is in the metaphysical attitude. And this power simply implies the elimination of imperfect conditions by resolving consciousness into the perfection of absolute states.
Return to top
The actions of the mind are back of all personal conditions, therefore when the mind begins to act in the consciousness of absolute states it will express the perfection, the health, the wholeness and the power of those states. And when, the qualities of such states are expressed, imperfect conditions must necessarily disappear. Light and darkness cannot exist in the same place at the same time; neither can health and disease. When the former comes the latter is no more. When the mind is placed in the metaphysical attitude the conscious realization of the more powerful forces of life is gained. This means possession and mastery of those forces, at least in a measure, and the result will be a decided increase in the power, the capacity and the ability of every active faculty of the mind.
It is therefore evident that every person who desires to become much and achieve much should live habitually in the metaphysical attitude, for it is in this attitude that the best use of the mind is secured. The metaphysical attitude is distinct from the psychical attitude, and it is highly important for every person to clearly understand this distinction. Both attitudes will place the mind in touch with the more powerful forces of life, but the metaphysical is based upon the conviction that all power is in itself good, and that the mind naturally controls all power; but the psychical attitude has no definite conviction or purpose regarding the real nature of power. The metaphysical attitude takes hold of those finer powers and applies them constructively; while in the psychical attitude those powers are more or less in a chaotic state. For this reason the psychical attitude is nearly always detrimental, while the metaphysical is never otherwise than highly beneficial.
To approach the universal life of unbounded wisdom and limitless power is usually termed occultism. We find therefore that metaphysics and occultism have the same general purpose, and deal largely with the same elements and powers, but they do not make the same use of those elements and powers, nor are the results identical in any sense whatever. The psychical attitude opens the mind to more power but takes no definite steps in directing that power into constructive channels. If the mind is wholesome and constructive while in the psychical attitude the greater powers thus gained will be beneficial because it will in such a mind be directed properly. But to enter the psychical while there are adverse tendencies, false ideas or perverted desires in mind, is decidedly detrimental because this greater power will at such times be misdirected. And the greater the power the worse will be the consequence when misdirection takes place.
Return to top
To state it briefly, no mind can safely enter the psychical attitude unless it has a spotless character, a masterful mind, and knows the truth about everything in this present state of existence. But as this requirement is practically beyond everybody, we must conclude that no one can safely enter the psychical state. To enter the psychical attitude is to fill the personality with new forces, some of which will be very strong, and if the mind is not constructive through and through, at the time, some or all of those forces will become destructive.
However, it is not possible to make the mind constructive through and through without entering the metaphysical attitude; that is, the mind is not fit to enter the psychical attitude until it has entered the metaphysical attitude. But as the same powers are secured in the metaphysical attitude, the psychical attitude becomes superfluous. Therefore, to give a single moment of thought or attention to occultism is a waste of time.
When a mind enters the metaphysical attitude it becomes constructive at once, because the metaphysical attitude is naturally a constructive attitude, being based upon the conviction that all things are in themselves good and working together for greater good. All power is good and all power is constructive. All power is beneficial when applied according to its true purpose, but no mind can apply power according to its true purpose until it becomes thoroughly constructive, and no mind can become thoroughly constructive until it enters the metaphysical attitude.
Return to top
In this attitude all thought and attention is given to that which makes for better things and greater things. The mind is placed in such perfect harmony with the absolute that it naturally follows the law of the absolute, and to follow this law is to be all that you can be. It is therefore the very soul of advancement, attainment and achievement, having nothing but construction in view.
The fact that the practice of occultism produces extraordinary phenomena, either upon the physical plane or in the world of mental imagery gives it an atmosphere of the marvelous, and therefore it becomes extremely fascinating to the senses. Metaphysics, however, does not aim to appeal directly to the senses nor does it produce mere phenomena. On the contrary, metaphysics appeals directly to the superior understanding, and its purpose is to develop worth, greatness and superiority in man.
Those persons who live habitually in the metaphysical attitude have a wholesome, healthful appearance. They are bright, happy, contented, and they look clean. They are thoroughly alive, but in their expression of life there is a deep calmness that indicates extraordinary power and the high attainment of real harmony. We realize, therefore, why it is only in the metaphysical attitude that we can secure the best use of the mind.
Return to top
The metaphysical attitude is rich in thoughts and ideas of worth. Such ideas are always constructive, and when applied will invariably promote practical and tangible advancement. To entertain pure metaphysical thought is to grow in the power to create higher thought and also to grow in the conscious realization of the real, thereby eliminating imperfect conditions of mind, thought or personality by resolving the mind in the consciousness of the unconditioned.
Metaphysics deals fundamentally with the understanding of the principle of absolute reality, that is, that complete something that underlies all things, permeates all things and surrounds all things: It deals with the all that there is in the world of fact and reality, and we can readily understand that the mind must aim to deal with the all if its use is to be the best. In other words the best use of the mind naturally implies that use of the mind that gives the highest, the largest and the most comprehensive application of everything there is in the mind. And this the metaphysical attitude invariably tends to do.
The understanding of the principle of absolute reality, that is the soul, so to speak, of all that is real, also reveals the great truth that all individual expressions of life have their source in the perfect state of being, and that the growth of the individual mind in the consciousness of this perfect state of being will cause that same perfection of being to be expressed more and more in the personal man. The term "perfection," however, in this sense implies that state of being that is all that it can be now, and that is so much that nothing in the present state of being can be added.
Return to top
We all seek perfection, that is, that state where the mind realizes in itself those ideals that are discerned as possibilities within itself; and this form of perfection the metaphysical attitude has the power to produce in any mind at any time. In fact to enter the metaphysical attitude is to give higher and higher degrees of this perfection to every power, every faculty, every function and every talent in human life.
There are various methods for producing the metaphysical attitude, but the better way is to give the first attention to the development of a metaphysical sense; that is, to train the mind to think more and more of that state of consciousness wherein the perfection of the real is the one predominating factor. When this sense is awakened each mind will find its own best methods. The majority, however, have this sense and need only to place it in action. To give full action to the metaphysical sense we should aim to discern the absolutely real that is within everything of which the mind can be conscious. We should try to carry out this aim in connection with every process of thought, especially those processes that involve the exercise of the imagination.
http://www.psitek.net/pages/PsiTek-how-the-mind-works-3.html
We have at the present time a number of metaphysical systems, and though they differ considerably in many respects they all produce practically the same results. We find that no one system is more successful than the others, and yet they are all so remarkably successful that modern metaphysics is rapidly becoming one of the most popular studies of today. The real secret of all these systems is found in their power to draw consciousness more deeply into the realization of the absolute.
The absolute is unconditioned; therefore the more deeply consciousness enters the absolute the less conscious will the mind become of conditions. That is, the mind will be emancipated more and more from conditions as it grows into the realization of that which is unconditioned, or rather above conditions.
Any method that will tend to develop in the mind the consciousness of the absolute will produce emancipation from physical or mental ills, the reason being that there are no ills in the absolute, and it is not possible for the mind to be conscious of ills when it is in the consciousness of that which is absolutely free from ills. In other words, the mind cannot be in darkness, weakness or disease when it is in light, power and health.
Although it is not exact science to state that all is mind, because it can easily be proven that all is not mind; nevertheless, the statement that all is mind has a tendency to resolve consciousness into the allness of infinite mind, that is, the mind of the absolute. This will eliminate from the personal mind the consciousness of personal limitations and thus produce the realization of the absolute, that state of being that is free from conditions. It will also cause the personal mind to function in the consciousness of its unity with the impersonal mind which again is the infinite mind.
In like manner it is not scientific to deny the existence of matter, because matter does exist. Nevertheless the persistent denial of the existence of matter has a tendency to eliminate from mind the consciousness of shape and form, also the limitations and the conditions of shape and form. The result will be a certain degree of emancipation from conditions, and accordingly the ills that may have existed in those conditions will disappear.
Return to top
The purpose of metaphysical methods is to prevent superficial mental action by deepening thought into the understanding of real action; that is, to prevent bondage to the limitations of form by awakening the consciousness of that limitless life that animates all form, and also to prevent the creation of imperfect conditions by producing in the mind the realization of absolutely perfect states. Any method that will tend to promote these objects in view will prove healthful to a degree in producing personal emancipation from sickness, adversity or want; but if the method is not strictly scientific its value will be very limited, and will prove to be nothing more than a temporary aid in the lesser aspects of life.
In this connection we must remember that no metaphysical method can fully promote the purpose in view unless it recognizes the reality of the whole universe and aims to produce advancement in every individual expression of universal life. However, every method is at first incomplete, therefore not strictly scientific. But to be scientific we must give everything due credit for what it is doing, no matter how limited it may be in its personal power.
To awaken the consciousness of the real, the unconditioned and the absolute, it is not necessary to declare that all is mind, nor is it necessary to deny the existence of matter. On the contrary, such methods should be avoided, because they will prove detrimental to the highest development of the individual if employed for any length of time. And we realize that our purpose is not simply to emancipate man from the ordinary ills of personal life, but also to develop man to the very highest heights of real greatness.
Return to top
There is a world of absolute reality that exists within and about all things. It permeates all things and surrounds all things. It is an infinite sea in which all things live and move and have their being. It is the source of everything, and being limitless can give limitless life and power to anything. All science recognizes this world of absolute reality, and it is the purpose of metaphysics, that is, the best use of the mind, to gain that understanding that will enable any individual to place himself in perfect conscious touch with that world. This absolute reality is the perfect state of being upon which all individual being is based. Therefore the more perfectly conscious the individual becomes of the absolute, the less imperfection there will be in the life of the individual. And when individual consciousness is completely resolved in absolute consciousness, the cosmic state is realized -a state with such marvelous beauty and such indescribable joy that it is worth a thousand ages of pain to come within its gates for just one single moment.
To develop the consciousness of the absolute and to grow steadily into the realization of the reality of perfect being the fundamental essential is to live habitually in the metaphysical attitude. This is a distinct attitude, by far the most desirable attitude of the mind, and comes as a natural result of the mind's discernment of the existence, the reality and the absoluteness of the universal sea of unconditioned life. This attitude is emancipating because it removes the imperfect by resolving the mind into the consciousness of the perfect. It produces the realization of the real and thus floods human life with the light of the real, that light that invariably dispels all darkness, whether it be ignorance, adversity, want, weakness, illusion or evil in any form or condition.
The secret of all metaphysical methods of cure is found in the peculiar power of the metaphysical attitude. To enter this attitude is to resolve mind in the consciousness of the absolute, and since there is no sickness in the absolute it is not possible for any mind to feel sickness while in the consciousness of the absolute. For this reason any method that will cause the mind to enter the metaphysical attitude will give that mind the power to heal physical or mental ailments. However, it is not the method that heals. It is that peculiar power or consciousness that comes when the mind is in the metaphysical attitude. And this power simply implies the elimination of imperfect conditions by resolving consciousness into the perfection of absolute states.
Return to top
The actions of the mind are back of all personal conditions, therefore when the mind begins to act in the consciousness of absolute states it will express the perfection, the health, the wholeness and the power of those states. And when, the qualities of such states are expressed, imperfect conditions must necessarily disappear. Light and darkness cannot exist in the same place at the same time; neither can health and disease. When the former comes the latter is no more. When the mind is placed in the metaphysical attitude the conscious realization of the more powerful forces of life is gained. This means possession and mastery of those forces, at least in a measure, and the result will be a decided increase in the power, the capacity and the ability of every active faculty of the mind.
It is therefore evident that every person who desires to become much and achieve much should live habitually in the metaphysical attitude, for it is in this attitude that the best use of the mind is secured. The metaphysical attitude is distinct from the psychical attitude, and it is highly important for every person to clearly understand this distinction. Both attitudes will place the mind in touch with the more powerful forces of life, but the metaphysical is based upon the conviction that all power is in itself good, and that the mind naturally controls all power; but the psychical attitude has no definite conviction or purpose regarding the real nature of power. The metaphysical attitude takes hold of those finer powers and applies them constructively; while in the psychical attitude those powers are more or less in a chaotic state. For this reason the psychical attitude is nearly always detrimental, while the metaphysical is never otherwise than highly beneficial.
To approach the universal life of unbounded wisdom and limitless power is usually termed occultism. We find therefore that metaphysics and occultism have the same general purpose, and deal largely with the same elements and powers, but they do not make the same use of those elements and powers, nor are the results identical in any sense whatever. The psychical attitude opens the mind to more power but takes no definite steps in directing that power into constructive channels. If the mind is wholesome and constructive while in the psychical attitude the greater powers thus gained will be beneficial because it will in such a mind be directed properly. But to enter the psychical while there are adverse tendencies, false ideas or perverted desires in mind, is decidedly detrimental because this greater power will at such times be misdirected. And the greater the power the worse will be the consequence when misdirection takes place.
Return to top
To state it briefly, no mind can safely enter the psychical attitude unless it has a spotless character, a masterful mind, and knows the truth about everything in this present state of existence. But as this requirement is practically beyond everybody, we must conclude that no one can safely enter the psychical state. To enter the psychical attitude is to fill the personality with new forces, some of which will be very strong, and if the mind is not constructive through and through, at the time, some or all of those forces will become destructive.
However, it is not possible to make the mind constructive through and through without entering the metaphysical attitude; that is, the mind is not fit to enter the psychical attitude until it has entered the metaphysical attitude. But as the same powers are secured in the metaphysical attitude, the psychical attitude becomes superfluous. Therefore, to give a single moment of thought or attention to occultism is a waste of time.
When a mind enters the metaphysical attitude it becomes constructive at once, because the metaphysical attitude is naturally a constructive attitude, being based upon the conviction that all things are in themselves good and working together for greater good. All power is good and all power is constructive. All power is beneficial when applied according to its true purpose, but no mind can apply power according to its true purpose until it becomes thoroughly constructive, and no mind can become thoroughly constructive until it enters the metaphysical attitude.
Return to top
In this attitude all thought and attention is given to that which makes for better things and greater things. The mind is placed in such perfect harmony with the absolute that it naturally follows the law of the absolute, and to follow this law is to be all that you can be. It is therefore the very soul of advancement, attainment and achievement, having nothing but construction in view.
The fact that the practice of occultism produces extraordinary phenomena, either upon the physical plane or in the world of mental imagery gives it an atmosphere of the marvelous, and therefore it becomes extremely fascinating to the senses. Metaphysics, however, does not aim to appeal directly to the senses nor does it produce mere phenomena. On the contrary, metaphysics appeals directly to the superior understanding, and its purpose is to develop worth, greatness and superiority in man.
Those persons who live habitually in the metaphysical attitude have a wholesome, healthful appearance. They are bright, happy, contented, and they look clean. They are thoroughly alive, but in their expression of life there is a deep calmness that indicates extraordinary power and the high attainment of real harmony. We realize, therefore, why it is only in the metaphysical attitude that we can secure the best use of the mind.
Return to top
The metaphysical attitude is rich in thoughts and ideas of worth. Such ideas are always constructive, and when applied will invariably promote practical and tangible advancement. To entertain pure metaphysical thought is to grow in the power to create higher thought and also to grow in the conscious realization of the real, thereby eliminating imperfect conditions of mind, thought or personality by resolving the mind in the consciousness of the unconditioned.
Metaphysics deals fundamentally with the understanding of the principle of absolute reality, that is, that complete something that underlies all things, permeates all things and surrounds all things: It deals with the all that there is in the world of fact and reality, and we can readily understand that the mind must aim to deal with the all if its use is to be the best. In other words the best use of the mind naturally implies that use of the mind that gives the highest, the largest and the most comprehensive application of everything there is in the mind. And this the metaphysical attitude invariably tends to do.
The understanding of the principle of absolute reality, that is the soul, so to speak, of all that is real, also reveals the great truth that all individual expressions of life have their source in the perfect state of being, and that the growth of the individual mind in the consciousness of this perfect state of being will cause that same perfection of being to be expressed more and more in the personal man. The term "perfection," however, in this sense implies that state of being that is all that it can be now, and that is so much that nothing in the present state of being can be added.
Return to top
We all seek perfection, that is, that state where the mind realizes in itself those ideals that are discerned as possibilities within itself; and this form of perfection the metaphysical attitude has the power to produce in any mind at any time. In fact to enter the metaphysical attitude is to give higher and higher degrees of this perfection to every power, every faculty, every function and every talent in human life.
There are various methods for producing the metaphysical attitude, but the better way is to give the first attention to the development of a metaphysical sense; that is, to train the mind to think more and more of that state of consciousness wherein the perfection of the real is the one predominating factor. When this sense is awakened each mind will find its own best methods. The majority, however, have this sense and need only to place it in action. To give full action to the metaphysical sense we should aim to discern the absolutely real that is within everything of which the mind can be conscious. We should try to carry out this aim in connection with every process of thought, especially those processes that involve the exercise of the imagination.
http://www.psitek.net/pages/PsiTek-how-the-mind-works-3.html
Where am I? Who am I?
Where am I? Who am I?
How did I come to be here?
What is this thing called the world?
How did I come into the world?
Why was I not consulted?
And If I am compelled to take part in it,
Where is the director?
I want to see him.
Soren Kierkegaard
How did I come to be here?
What is this thing called the world?
How did I come into the world?
Why was I not consulted?
And If I am compelled to take part in it,
Where is the director?
I want to see him.
Soren Kierkegaard
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
