Take some break ...let's try this for fun. Who knows it might work !
1. Say your name to yourself, then say the name of the only person you
want
to be with 3 times!
2. Think of something you want t o accomplish within the next week and
say
it to yourself 6 times!!
3 . If you had one wish, what would it be? Say it to yourself 9 times!!!
4 . Think of something that you want to happen between you and that one
special person and say it to yourself 12 times!!!
5. Now, here's the hard part! Pick only one of these wishes and as you
scroll down, focus and concentrate on it and think of nothing else but
that wish & final wish that you picked.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Quotations about Driving
Quotations about Driving
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. ~Steven Wright
The car has become a secular sanctuary for the individual, his shrine to the self, his mobile Walden Pond. ~Edward McDonagh
A commuter tie-up consists of you - and people who for some reason won't use public transit. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. ~Author Unknown
Consider the man on horseback, and I have been a man on horseback for most of my life. Well, mostly he is a good man, but there is a change in him as soon as he mounts. Every man on horseback is an arrogant man, however gentle he may be on foot. The man in the automobile is one thousand times as dangerous. I tell you, it will engender absolute selfishness in mankind if the driving of automobiles becomes common. It will breed violence on a scale never seen before. It will mark the end of the family as we know it, the three or four generations living happily in one home. It will destroy the sense of neighborhood and the true sense of Nation. It will create giantized cankers of cities, false opulence of suburbs, ruinized countryside, and unhealthy conglomerations of specialized farming and manufacturing. It will make every man a tyrant. ~R.A. Lafferty, "Interurban Queen," 1970, a short story set in the late 1800s (Thanks, Sam!)
Automobiles are not ferocious.... it is man who is to be feared. ~Robbins B. Stoeckel
No one should be able to enter a wilderness by mechanical means. ~Garrett Hardin, The Ecologist, February 1974
Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf. ~Lewis Mumford
The shortest distance between two points is under construction. ~Noelie Altito
Road rage is the expression of the amateur sociopath in all of us, cured by running into a professional. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
Driving a brand new car feels like driving around in an open billfold with the dollars flapping by your ears as they fly out the window. ~Grey Livingston
A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. ~Bill Vaughan
Each year it seems to take less time to fly across the ocean and longer to drive to work. ~Author Unknown
If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane. ~Author Unknown
Anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac. ~Author Unknown
The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. ~Jason Love
What fools indeed we morals are
To lavish care upon a Car,
With ne'er a bit of time to see
About our own machinery!
~John Kendrick Bangs
I represent what is left of a vanishing race, and that is the pedestrian.... That I am still able to be here, I owe to a keen eye and a nimble pair of legs. But I know they'll get me someday. ~Will Rogers
Recklessness is a species of crime and should be so regarded on our streets and highways. ~Marlen E. Pew
Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! ~Author unknown, as seen on a shirt
Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car. ~E.B. White, One Man's Meat, 1943
The greater part of my official time is spent on investigating collisions between propelled vehicles, each on its own side of the road, each sounding its horn, and each stationary. ~An English Lord Chief Justice, quoted in 2,715 One-Line Quotations for Speakers, Writers & Raconteurs by Edward F. Murphy
Life is too short for traffic. ~Dan Bellack
For every "Drive Safely" sign, shouldn't there be a "Resume Normal Driving" sign? ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
Another way to solve the traffic problems of this country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars be allowed to use the highways. ~Will Rogers
What a lucky thing the wheel was invented before the automobile; otherwise can you imagine the awful screeching? ~Samuel Hoffenstein
Take most people, they're crazy about cars. They worry if they get a little scratch on them, and they're always talking about how many miles they get to a gallon, and if they get a brand-new car already they start thinking about trading it in for one that's even newer. I don't even like old cars. I mean they don't even interest me. I'd rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human, for God's sake. ~J.D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. ~Doug Larson
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do. ~Jason Love
Road sense is the offspring of courtesy and the parent of safety. ~Australian Traffic Rule, quoted in Quotations for Special Occasions by Maud van Buren
The automobile is technologically more sophisticated than the bundling board, but the human motives in their uses are sometimes the same. ~Charles M. Allen
The car has become... an article of dress without which we feel uncertain, unclad, and incomplete. ~Marshall McLuhan, Understanding Media, 1964
And I, I took the road less traveled by. I was using a GPS system. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions." ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
Walking isn't a lost art - one must, by some means, get to the garage. ~Evan Esar
The speedway ends at the cemetery. ~Author Unknown
We are not proving ourselves spiritually worthy of our material progress. We have not been neighborly, courteous, and kind upon the highway. Our lack of decency toward our fellow men is a definite black mark against us. ~Cary T. Grayson
On the other hand, the Bible contains much that is relevant today, like Noah taking 40 days to find a place to park. ~Curtis McDougall
The automobile has not merely taken over the street, it has dissolved the living tissue of the city. Its appetite for space is absolutely insatiable; moving and parked, it devours urban land, leaving the buildings as mere islands of habitable space in a sea of dangerous and ugly traffic. ~James Marston Fitch, New York Times, 1 May 1960
Remember folks, street lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph. ~Jim Samuels
I'm not sure... about automobiles.... With all their speed forward they may be a step backward in civilization - that is, in spiritual civilization. It may be that they will not add to the beauty of the world, nor to the life of men's souls. I am not sure. But automobiles have come, and they bring a greater change in our life than most of us suspect. They are here, and almost all outward things are going to be different because of what they bring. They are going to alter war, and they are going to alter peace. I think men's minds are going to be changed in subtle ways because of automobiles; just how, though, I could hardly guess. But you can't have the immense outward changes that they will cause without some inward ones, and it may be that... the spiritual alteration will be bad for us. Perhaps, ten or twenty years from now, if we can see the inward change in men by that time, I shouldn't be able to defend the gasoline engine, but would have to agree... that automobiles 'had no business to be invented.' ~Eugene, from Booth Tarkington's The Magnificent Ambersons, 1918
http://www.quotegarden.com/driving.html
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
27% of Americans believe we never landed on the moon.
27% of Americans believe we never landed on the moon.
http://www.bored.com/greatfacts/
Facts that I don't know
1 kg (2.2 pounds) of lemons contain more sugar than 1 kg of strawberries.
1,525,000,000 miles of telephone wire are strung across the Unites States.
1.7 litres of saliva is produced each day. In Discovery Channel, its a quart.
10 percent of all human beings ever born are alive at this very moment.
10% of human dry weight comes from bacteria
11% of the world is left-handed.
111, 111, 111 X 111, 111, 111 = 12, 345, 678, 987, 654, 321
1200 equals 1 pound (72 rupees).
123,000,000 cars are being driven on highways in the United States.
166,875,000,000 pieces of mail are delivered each year in the United States.
1959's A Raisin in the Sun was the first play by a black woman to be produced on Broadway.
2 and 5 are the only prime numbers that end in 2 or 5.
203 million dollars is spent on barbed wire each year in the U.S.
22,000 checks will be deducted from the wrong bank accounts in the next hour.
23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks.
25% of a human's bones are in its feet.
259200 people die every day.
http://www.bored.com/greatfacts/
1,525,000,000 miles of telephone wire are strung across the Unites States.
1.7 litres of saliva is produced each day. In Discovery Channel, its a quart.
10 percent of all human beings ever born are alive at this very moment.
10% of human dry weight comes from bacteria
11% of the world is left-handed.
111, 111, 111 X 111, 111, 111 = 12, 345, 678, 987, 654, 321
1200 equals 1 pound (72 rupees).
123,000,000 cars are being driven on highways in the United States.
166,875,000,000 pieces of mail are delivered each year in the United States.
1959's A Raisin in the Sun was the first play by a black woman to be produced on Broadway.
2 and 5 are the only prime numbers that end in 2 or 5.
203 million dollars is spent on barbed wire each year in the U.S.
22,000 checks will be deducted from the wrong bank accounts in the next hour.
23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks.
25% of a human's bones are in its feet.
259200 people die every day.
http://www.bored.com/greatfacts/
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Bad Job
Bad Job
A princess is walking along when she looks down and sees an ugly frog.
She picks it up and says, "My, but you're a really ugly frog."
The frog says, "I know, I know. I got a really bad spell put on me."
The princess says, "Jesus... I've seen frogs with spells, but none of
them were as ugly as you."
The frog says, "Look, leave me alone lady. I told you, it's a really
bad spell."
She says, "If I kiss you, will you turn into a handsome prince?"
The frog says, "I don't know, lady. A spell this bad will probably take
a blow job."
A princess is walking along when she looks down and sees an ugly frog.
She picks it up and says, "My, but you're a really ugly frog."
The frog says, "I know, I know. I got a really bad spell put on me."
The princess says, "Jesus... I've seen frogs with spells, but none of
them were as ugly as you."
The frog says, "Look, leave me alone lady. I told you, it's a really
bad spell."
She says, "If I kiss you, will you turn into a handsome prince?"
The frog says, "I don't know, lady. A spell this bad will probably take
a blow job."
Saturday, September 18, 2010
my life
My life is fun
My life is crazy
My life is cool
My life is in the pool
My life is mest up
My life is gast up
My life is up
My life is down
My life is all around
My life is happy
My life is sad
My life is made
My life is bad
My life is lazy
My life is just my life is crazy all the time
jencelyn marin
My life is crazy
My life is cool
My life is in the pool
My life is mest up
My life is gast up
My life is up
My life is down
My life is all around
My life is happy
My life is sad
My life is made
My life is bad
My life is lazy
My life is just my life is crazy all the time
jencelyn marin
Monday, September 13, 2010
Ideal husbands
Ideal husbands
While creating Husbands, God promised Women that good and ideal Husbands
would be found in all corners of the world.
And then he made the earth round.
ha haha ha ha
While creating Husbands, God promised Women that good and ideal Husbands
would be found in all corners of the world.
And then he made the earth round.
ha haha ha ha
funny joke
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Money & Abundance
Money & Abundance
The world is an abundant place and your natural state is one of abundance. When you are living in abundance you are connected to the flow of life. That's the way life is meant to be. As you move towards enlightenment (go through a process of self development) you are opening your self to the free flow of energy. Your life becomes abundant. Abundance means having plenty. Plenty of whatever you want. This is not to be confused with having just enough, which is a lesser state of being. Having plenty means having a reserve.
Money is only energy its not good or bad it is neutral. It has the value that you or society attributes to it. It's a very easy to use exchange medium and if you are living in western society you cannot survive without it. If you have more money you have more choice in life and do not need to concern yourself with issues of survival. This leaves you room to pursue other issues such as your personal growth.
Money is directly linked to how well you tap into the spiritual energy of the universe. If you are poor this is often a sign that you are have a block in this area. The block is related your self worth & lack of spirituality. That doesn't mean all rich people are spiritual and have high self worth but when you are poor it certainly shows that you are detached from the flow of life. Remember that there is no direct link with your self worth and the exact number of dollars you have. It's an issue of abundance vs. lack.
Don't fall into the trap of neglecting money matters on the pretence that money is not spiritual. People who have money are in a much better position than the rest of the population to help others. Just look at how much money some of the worlds richest people donate to charity. On this page you will find a range of articles about money, wealth and abundance which will help you understand the concept. When you understand the concept behind something the action required becomes easy.
If you think that you should abandon your possessions and money to somehow become better or to find your spiritual side, then let me tell you that's just a complete load of crap. To walk the spiritual path and move towards enlightenment you need to be detached from the emotions that link you to needing money and possessions.
Editor - Spiritual.com.au
The world is an abundant place and your natural state is one of abundance. When you are living in abundance you are connected to the flow of life. That's the way life is meant to be. As you move towards enlightenment (go through a process of self development) you are opening your self to the free flow of energy. Your life becomes abundant. Abundance means having plenty. Plenty of whatever you want. This is not to be confused with having just enough, which is a lesser state of being. Having plenty means having a reserve.
Money is only energy its not good or bad it is neutral. It has the value that you or society attributes to it. It's a very easy to use exchange medium and if you are living in western society you cannot survive without it. If you have more money you have more choice in life and do not need to concern yourself with issues of survival. This leaves you room to pursue other issues such as your personal growth.
Money is directly linked to how well you tap into the spiritual energy of the universe. If you are poor this is often a sign that you are have a block in this area. The block is related your self worth & lack of spirituality. That doesn't mean all rich people are spiritual and have high self worth but when you are poor it certainly shows that you are detached from the flow of life. Remember that there is no direct link with your self worth and the exact number of dollars you have. It's an issue of abundance vs. lack.
Don't fall into the trap of neglecting money matters on the pretence that money is not spiritual. People who have money are in a much better position than the rest of the population to help others. Just look at how much money some of the worlds richest people donate to charity. On this page you will find a range of articles about money, wealth and abundance which will help you understand the concept. When you understand the concept behind something the action required becomes easy.
If you think that you should abandon your possessions and money to somehow become better or to find your spiritual side, then let me tell you that's just a complete load of crap. To walk the spiritual path and move towards enlightenment you need to be detached from the emotions that link you to needing money and possessions.
Editor - Spiritual.com.au
Monday, September 6, 2010
A Dog Named "Sex"
A Dog Named "Sex"
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.
When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"
One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.
Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend
so get yourself a dog."
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.
When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"
One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.
Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend
so get yourself a dog."
Friday, September 3, 2010
The Begin
The Begin
The grey haired gentleman stopped twenty paces ahead of the rest of the colonists. The representative from the native tribe stopped also. Slowly the imposing native began circling, its tail twitching. The scientist stood his ground, waiting patiently, only turning where he stood to watch the native, who resembled a miniature Tyrannosaurus Rex - about a foot taller than the man.
The man in the deactivated camouflage cloak stood near the rear of the group of colonists, slowly shaking his head. He quietly released the safety on the blaster he held under his cloak. They hadn't really wanted him to come along, but nobody wanted to argue with him, either. The other colonists stood nonchalantly watching, weapons holstered, but hands hovering over them, convinced by the scholarly gentleman that this first contact would be peaceful.
After a full circuit, the native emitted a loud, hissing roar. The translator buttons remained silent as to its meaning. Taking the initiative, the grey haired colonist slowly raised both hands, palms outward, to show that they were empty. The native paused, then crouched and raised its clawed forelimbs in a similar posture.
The man in the camouflage cloak muttered, "Fool! They don't know about weapons!" He tensed as he saw the native's powerful tail touch the ground behind it. Before anyone could react, those tremendous haunches and thick tail launched the native through the air, hind legs extended forward. In the blink of an eye, the stunned scholar's intestines were spilling onto the ground as the sharp claws on those powerful hind feet kicked several times, while the native balanced on its tail, and the flashing forelimbs tore out his throat before he could even scream.
The horrified colonists reached for holstered weapons as the man in camouflage moved to their flank.
The native tore open the old man's chest and shredded the still-beating heart with its foreclaws as all watched, aghast. He turned to his companions and growled something that the translator buttons rendered as: "It HAS no heart! It didn't even fight!"
To the chorus of agreement from the other natives, it spat once into the gaping chest cavity and turned to stalk back to its companions.
The first blaster bolt, from the leader of the colonists, fortunately, expended itself in the foliage of a bush. The second, this one from the man in camouflage, threw up gouts of dirt and burned vegetation in front of the first shooter.
"Stop it, you fool!" the man in camouflage hissed as the others looked his way. "We've got to LIVE with these beings and we'll never survive if we try to go to war with them. Our supplies are not limitless, and there's no factory for blaster loads here! We can kill hundreds, even thousands of them, but eventually we'll run out of ammo, and there are MILLIONS of them out there!"
"Did you see what he did?!" the leader replied, "Poor Dr. Sanders didn't have a chance!"
"Poor Dr. Sanders," the man in camo said derisively, "for all his University degrees, was a goddamn idiot! We can still salvage this, but I need you to put your weapons away and let me deal with them!"
"How do you think YOU can deal with them where Sanders failed, Cooper?" the other snorted.
"I've been out in the bush observing them." Cooper replied, keeping one eye on the natives. They milled about, shocked by the blaster, but gave no sign of attacking. Cooper continued, "While Sanders and the rest of you stayed safe inside your protective barrier, I've been out learning about them! How the hell do you think the translation computer got enough speech samples to work so well? Now holster your goddamn weapons, all of you, before I shoot YOU!"
"Do as he says!" a short, dark woman spoke from the other side of the group, her own blaster covering them.
"Et tu, Tanya?" the leader asked sardonically.
"I'll put my trust in Mr. Cooper." she said, "He's risked his neck every day to be out there and learn about these lizards. Sanders tried to apply his book learning without taking the time to know who he faced."
"What are you going to do?" the other said, reluctantly stowing his blaster. The others followed suit.
"I'm going to fight that big dinosaur hand to claw." Cooper said, "These are tough, violent beings, but they've learned ways of getting along that don't involve wholesale killing. Either I will kill that lizard, or he will kill me. Either way, if I fight well, you'll have the chance to open a dialog."
"How will we know if you've succeeded?" Tanya asked.
"You'll know." was all he said, "Just keep those blasters holstered and wait out whatever happens. It'll be bloody, either way, but if this works, this will be the only other death we'll have to put up with for a while."
After a general round of nods, he turned to face the natives, who still milled about, growling and hissing.
"Our champion failed to fight and we are shamed!" Cooper shouted through the translator. A series of clicks, hisses and growls emitted from the medallion on his chest. "Will you allow us to send another?"
The colonists stared at each other and murmured in indignation. The natives hissed and growled among themselves. Finally, one with yellowed, scarred, scaly flesh replied.
"If that is the best you can send," the translator button in his ear said, "then it's a waste of flesh. We will just kill you all and trample your remains into the soil so your weak blood does not contaminate the world!"
"This one," Cooper strode to where Sanders mutilated corpse lay under a cloud of local insects and spat, "shamed us all! I will face your champion myself, and eat his heart!"
"Big talk from such a small being!" the big, blood-spattered one jeered, "You don't even have the claws of a warrior!"
"I am not weak like this one!" Cooper replied, "I do not need claws to feed on the likes of you!"
"Let it be, then!" the big one told the scarred one, "I could use a little exercise!"
A lift of the scarred one's tail signified assent, and the big one lumbered forward. Cooper shed his cloak and weapons as the other advanced.
"Such a puny little thing!" the lizard growled. He was at least a head taller than Cooper's six-three. "Why do you even bother? Just stand there like the other and I will kill you quickly! I might even lick at your heart because of your brave talk!"
"There is a small creature in the forest that even your people fear," Cooper said, circling slowly in the same direction as his opponent, "I have killed five of them for my food, without weapons. Look to your own heart, warrior. I will feast upon it soon!"
The creature paused, it's eyelids blinked rapidly, then narrowed.
"You are the one that killed the grolak?" it said, "When we found the remains we wondered... Perhaps you have a heart worth eating after all!"
"Not that you will ever get the chance!" Cooper replied, "I am Cooper. I would know the name of the one I about to kill!"
'Cooper' was not a word the lipless mouths of the natives could repeat, but this one tried.
"'Kookah'! It is a name for a small flying creature, not a true warrior!" the lizard growled "Not a strong warrior name, like Garrok! This is a warrior's name! This is MY name!"
"I will tell the people as we share your heart, Garrok!" Cooper said.
The circle of their steps had grown ever smaller, until now they were no more than ten feet apart. Cooper saw the tail touch ground and was not surprised when the leap came. Quickly, he stepped forward and to the side. The limbs of the lizard had limited motion toward the sides and he was able to avoid the deadly claws on hind feet and forelimbs while his karate blows landed on scaled muscle and joint.
The tail of the creature was not as limited as its limbs and it caught him in a sweeping blow that knocked him backward about five feet. His martial arts training kept him rolling, forward and to the side, just in time to avoid Garrok's second leap. This time, he ducked under the sweep of the tail and grabbed it with both hands, jerking just hard enough to unbalance the lizard so that it landed awkwardly, off balance.
In a flash, he was on Garrok's back, landing a swift series of blows to the muscles of forelimbs and hind legs alike. He leaped aside, swinging a hard foot around to catch his opponent in the throat, just as the tail again whooshed past!
Garrok, with a roar, pursued as Cooper raced for the edge of the clearing, then, with the lizard's hot breath almost on the back of his neck, dropped suddenly and kicked backward, catching his opponent in its soft belly! He almost got away with it, but a swift foreclaw raked deep, bloody furrows, sending fire down the back of his left leg as he rolled away!
The two opponents came up facing each other, breathing heavily, limping. One of Garrok's forelimbs hung uselessly before it, the muscles turned to jelly by the repeated blows. The other forelimb clutched protectively over its abdomen, and one hind leg moved awkwardly.
"So!" Garrok growled, "The bird has claws after all! Good! Garrok does not like wasting its effort on the weak!"
"In the land from which I come," Cooper said, "we make songs about mighty warriors. I will make a song about Garrok!"
There was no finesse, this time. The two charged simultaneously. Garrok, having learned the dangers of leaping upon this opponent, bounded forward and tried to grapple with its foreclaws. Cooper kept his hands in front of him, inside the other's reach as he closed, and bombarded the reptilian creature's belly with a series of short, hard punches and knee kicks. The effort to protect its already injured abdomen foiled Garrok's attempt to rake with his claws, but in a flash of inspiration, it tried to emulate its opponent's kicking style and managed to sink it's hind claws deeply into the thigh of Cooper's injured leg.
Nearly blinded by the agony in his thigh, knowing he wouldn't be able to fight much longer with the loss of blood, Cooper drove a knife-hand upward between two horizontal rows of belly scales, tearing through the tough flesh, and, grasping the wildly pumping muscle he found there, tore it from Garrok's body. He showed it to his opponent. As it spurted dark purple fluid the two of them, Garrok, stunned, sank to its haunches.
"So that is my heart." it said calmly, "It is a warrior's heart, is it not?"
"It is a true warrior's heart," Cooper said, then, to the disgust of his fellow colonists, he raised it to his mouth and tore a bite of flesh from it, chewing, then swallowing.
"It is well..." Garrok said as the light faded from its eyes and it toppled sideways.
"This!" Cooper raised the still-pulsing mucle above his head in a gesture he had witnessed many times as he watched such battles from hiding places in the forest, "This is the heart of a great warrior! Eat, my people, and grow stronger!"
He limped over to the one who had fired the blaster before and said in a low whisper, translator off, "Take a bite, chew, and swallow!"
"I'm not eating that!" the man said in horror, "it's still alive, for God's sake!"
"You will eat it and you will praise the strength of the warrior from whom it came!" Cooper said with a burning intensity, "THIS is your peace treaty! If you insult these people by refusing to eat the heart of their greatest warrior, you will never be at peace with them! Eat! You can throw it up when you get back to camp, but so help me, if you puke where they can see you, I'll kill you myself!"
Reluctantly, the man tore off a chunk, and Cooper stepped aside so the natives could watch as he chewed, and with great effort, swallowed.
"Now turn on your translator and say, so they can hear you, 'This is truly the heart of a great warrior!'"
The man did as asked, though he looked a little pale around the gills, and a murmur ran through the native tribe, as tails lifted in appreciation.
One by one, Cooper took the heart to each member of the delegation. All but one resisted, but all eventually ate from Garrok's heart under Cooper's watchful eye.
The short, dark-skinned woman took a bite without hesitation, and swallowed, gazing into Cooper's eyes.
"This is truly the heart of a great warrior!" she sang out in a clear, strong voice.
"Thank you," she said, after praising the warrior's heart "you have done us a great service. Will you come to my tent tonight?"
Cooper raised an eyebrow. This one always slept alone.
"You come to mine!" he said with a smile, which she returned.
"Is that it?" she asked.
"There's one more thing to be done..." he replied, turning to the native delegation.
Slowly, with great solemnity, holding the remains of the heart high, he limped across the gap between the two groups. When he reached the wizened, yellowed leader of the natives, he offered the heart.
"Our thanks for sharing with us your greatest strength!" he said solemnly, "We leave you this portion, that your people may remain strong and strike fear in the hearts of our enemies, for after this day, your enemies are our enemies!"
"We thank you for your generosity!" the scarred one said, "We declare ourselves friends of the skinless ones! Let any who wish to harm our friends know that the people of the Kanak are their enemies!"
"Will you visit our village?" Cooper asked as the scarred one ate with relish from the heart and passed it to his right.
"We will come when the light has gone from the sky three times." the old one said, "First we must give our fallen hero his due."
"It is well!" Cooper replied.
"What of your fallen one?" the other asked.
"Let the insects and small, weak creatures eat it." Cooper spat, "It is not worthy of a warrior's honor! We will place a marker on this spot to remind all of our shame, that it not be repeated!"
The other lifted its tail in approval.
Cooper started back toward his people, feeling light headed as the adrenalin faded and blood loss threatened to sap his strength.
"Somebody slap a bandage on these wounds so I can make it back to camp!" he said, through gritted teeth.
"What about Sanders?" the man who'd fired his blaster asked, "We can't just leave him there!"
"You MUST leave him there!" Cooper hissed, "Come back tomorrow and put a marker on the spot, but DON'T TOUCH THE BODY! We must not be seen to eve appear to honor weakness! Even better, whoever places the marker should pretend to spit on the body."
"But that goes against everything we believe in!" the man said, "What kind of civilization will we have if we don't honor our dead?"
"Don't you get it?" the dark-skinned woman said, "We're not on our world anymore! We're on THEIR world, and if we expect to survive, we need to do it by THEIR rules!"
The grey haired gentleman stopped twenty paces ahead of the rest of the colonists. The representative from the native tribe stopped also. Slowly the imposing native began circling, its tail twitching. The scientist stood his ground, waiting patiently, only turning where he stood to watch the native, who resembled a miniature Tyrannosaurus Rex - about a foot taller than the man.
The man in the deactivated camouflage cloak stood near the rear of the group of colonists, slowly shaking his head. He quietly released the safety on the blaster he held under his cloak. They hadn't really wanted him to come along, but nobody wanted to argue with him, either. The other colonists stood nonchalantly watching, weapons holstered, but hands hovering over them, convinced by the scholarly gentleman that this first contact would be peaceful.
After a full circuit, the native emitted a loud, hissing roar. The translator buttons remained silent as to its meaning. Taking the initiative, the grey haired colonist slowly raised both hands, palms outward, to show that they were empty. The native paused, then crouched and raised its clawed forelimbs in a similar posture.
The man in the camouflage cloak muttered, "Fool! They don't know about weapons!" He tensed as he saw the native's powerful tail touch the ground behind it. Before anyone could react, those tremendous haunches and thick tail launched the native through the air, hind legs extended forward. In the blink of an eye, the stunned scholar's intestines were spilling onto the ground as the sharp claws on those powerful hind feet kicked several times, while the native balanced on its tail, and the flashing forelimbs tore out his throat before he could even scream.
The horrified colonists reached for holstered weapons as the man in camouflage moved to their flank.
The native tore open the old man's chest and shredded the still-beating heart with its foreclaws as all watched, aghast. He turned to his companions and growled something that the translator buttons rendered as: "It HAS no heart! It didn't even fight!"
To the chorus of agreement from the other natives, it spat once into the gaping chest cavity and turned to stalk back to its companions.
The first blaster bolt, from the leader of the colonists, fortunately, expended itself in the foliage of a bush. The second, this one from the man in camouflage, threw up gouts of dirt and burned vegetation in front of the first shooter.
"Stop it, you fool!" the man in camouflage hissed as the others looked his way. "We've got to LIVE with these beings and we'll never survive if we try to go to war with them. Our supplies are not limitless, and there's no factory for blaster loads here! We can kill hundreds, even thousands of them, but eventually we'll run out of ammo, and there are MILLIONS of them out there!"
"Did you see what he did?!" the leader replied, "Poor Dr. Sanders didn't have a chance!"
"Poor Dr. Sanders," the man in camo said derisively, "for all his University degrees, was a goddamn idiot! We can still salvage this, but I need you to put your weapons away and let me deal with them!"
"How do you think YOU can deal with them where Sanders failed, Cooper?" the other snorted.
"I've been out in the bush observing them." Cooper replied, keeping one eye on the natives. They milled about, shocked by the blaster, but gave no sign of attacking. Cooper continued, "While Sanders and the rest of you stayed safe inside your protective barrier, I've been out learning about them! How the hell do you think the translation computer got enough speech samples to work so well? Now holster your goddamn weapons, all of you, before I shoot YOU!"
"Do as he says!" a short, dark woman spoke from the other side of the group, her own blaster covering them.
"Et tu, Tanya?" the leader asked sardonically.
"I'll put my trust in Mr. Cooper." she said, "He's risked his neck every day to be out there and learn about these lizards. Sanders tried to apply his book learning without taking the time to know who he faced."
"What are you going to do?" the other said, reluctantly stowing his blaster. The others followed suit.
"I'm going to fight that big dinosaur hand to claw." Cooper said, "These are tough, violent beings, but they've learned ways of getting along that don't involve wholesale killing. Either I will kill that lizard, or he will kill me. Either way, if I fight well, you'll have the chance to open a dialog."
"How will we know if you've succeeded?" Tanya asked.
"You'll know." was all he said, "Just keep those blasters holstered and wait out whatever happens. It'll be bloody, either way, but if this works, this will be the only other death we'll have to put up with for a while."
After a general round of nods, he turned to face the natives, who still milled about, growling and hissing.
"Our champion failed to fight and we are shamed!" Cooper shouted through the translator. A series of clicks, hisses and growls emitted from the medallion on his chest. "Will you allow us to send another?"
The colonists stared at each other and murmured in indignation. The natives hissed and growled among themselves. Finally, one with yellowed, scarred, scaly flesh replied.
"If that is the best you can send," the translator button in his ear said, "then it's a waste of flesh. We will just kill you all and trample your remains into the soil so your weak blood does not contaminate the world!"
"This one," Cooper strode to where Sanders mutilated corpse lay under a cloud of local insects and spat, "shamed us all! I will face your champion myself, and eat his heart!"
"Big talk from such a small being!" the big, blood-spattered one jeered, "You don't even have the claws of a warrior!"
"I am not weak like this one!" Cooper replied, "I do not need claws to feed on the likes of you!"
"Let it be, then!" the big one told the scarred one, "I could use a little exercise!"
A lift of the scarred one's tail signified assent, and the big one lumbered forward. Cooper shed his cloak and weapons as the other advanced.
"Such a puny little thing!" the lizard growled. He was at least a head taller than Cooper's six-three. "Why do you even bother? Just stand there like the other and I will kill you quickly! I might even lick at your heart because of your brave talk!"
"There is a small creature in the forest that even your people fear," Cooper said, circling slowly in the same direction as his opponent, "I have killed five of them for my food, without weapons. Look to your own heart, warrior. I will feast upon it soon!"
The creature paused, it's eyelids blinked rapidly, then narrowed.
"You are the one that killed the grolak?" it said, "When we found the remains we wondered... Perhaps you have a heart worth eating after all!"
"Not that you will ever get the chance!" Cooper replied, "I am Cooper. I would know the name of the one I about to kill!"
'Cooper' was not a word the lipless mouths of the natives could repeat, but this one tried.
"'Kookah'! It is a name for a small flying creature, not a true warrior!" the lizard growled "Not a strong warrior name, like Garrok! This is a warrior's name! This is MY name!"
"I will tell the people as we share your heart, Garrok!" Cooper said.
The circle of their steps had grown ever smaller, until now they were no more than ten feet apart. Cooper saw the tail touch ground and was not surprised when the leap came. Quickly, he stepped forward and to the side. The limbs of the lizard had limited motion toward the sides and he was able to avoid the deadly claws on hind feet and forelimbs while his karate blows landed on scaled muscle and joint.
The tail of the creature was not as limited as its limbs and it caught him in a sweeping blow that knocked him backward about five feet. His martial arts training kept him rolling, forward and to the side, just in time to avoid Garrok's second leap. This time, he ducked under the sweep of the tail and grabbed it with both hands, jerking just hard enough to unbalance the lizard so that it landed awkwardly, off balance.
In a flash, he was on Garrok's back, landing a swift series of blows to the muscles of forelimbs and hind legs alike. He leaped aside, swinging a hard foot around to catch his opponent in the throat, just as the tail again whooshed past!
Garrok, with a roar, pursued as Cooper raced for the edge of the clearing, then, with the lizard's hot breath almost on the back of his neck, dropped suddenly and kicked backward, catching his opponent in its soft belly! He almost got away with it, but a swift foreclaw raked deep, bloody furrows, sending fire down the back of his left leg as he rolled away!
The two opponents came up facing each other, breathing heavily, limping. One of Garrok's forelimbs hung uselessly before it, the muscles turned to jelly by the repeated blows. The other forelimb clutched protectively over its abdomen, and one hind leg moved awkwardly.
"So!" Garrok growled, "The bird has claws after all! Good! Garrok does not like wasting its effort on the weak!"
"In the land from which I come," Cooper said, "we make songs about mighty warriors. I will make a song about Garrok!"
There was no finesse, this time. The two charged simultaneously. Garrok, having learned the dangers of leaping upon this opponent, bounded forward and tried to grapple with its foreclaws. Cooper kept his hands in front of him, inside the other's reach as he closed, and bombarded the reptilian creature's belly with a series of short, hard punches and knee kicks. The effort to protect its already injured abdomen foiled Garrok's attempt to rake with his claws, but in a flash of inspiration, it tried to emulate its opponent's kicking style and managed to sink it's hind claws deeply into the thigh of Cooper's injured leg.
Nearly blinded by the agony in his thigh, knowing he wouldn't be able to fight much longer with the loss of blood, Cooper drove a knife-hand upward between two horizontal rows of belly scales, tearing through the tough flesh, and, grasping the wildly pumping muscle he found there, tore it from Garrok's body. He showed it to his opponent. As it spurted dark purple fluid the two of them, Garrok, stunned, sank to its haunches.
"So that is my heart." it said calmly, "It is a warrior's heart, is it not?"
"It is a true warrior's heart," Cooper said, then, to the disgust of his fellow colonists, he raised it to his mouth and tore a bite of flesh from it, chewing, then swallowing.
"It is well..." Garrok said as the light faded from its eyes and it toppled sideways.
"This!" Cooper raised the still-pulsing mucle above his head in a gesture he had witnessed many times as he watched such battles from hiding places in the forest, "This is the heart of a great warrior! Eat, my people, and grow stronger!"
He limped over to the one who had fired the blaster before and said in a low whisper, translator off, "Take a bite, chew, and swallow!"
"I'm not eating that!" the man said in horror, "it's still alive, for God's sake!"
"You will eat it and you will praise the strength of the warrior from whom it came!" Cooper said with a burning intensity, "THIS is your peace treaty! If you insult these people by refusing to eat the heart of their greatest warrior, you will never be at peace with them! Eat! You can throw it up when you get back to camp, but so help me, if you puke where they can see you, I'll kill you myself!"
Reluctantly, the man tore off a chunk, and Cooper stepped aside so the natives could watch as he chewed, and with great effort, swallowed.
"Now turn on your translator and say, so they can hear you, 'This is truly the heart of a great warrior!'"
The man did as asked, though he looked a little pale around the gills, and a murmur ran through the native tribe, as tails lifted in appreciation.
One by one, Cooper took the heart to each member of the delegation. All but one resisted, but all eventually ate from Garrok's heart under Cooper's watchful eye.
The short, dark-skinned woman took a bite without hesitation, and swallowed, gazing into Cooper's eyes.
"This is truly the heart of a great warrior!" she sang out in a clear, strong voice.
"Thank you," she said, after praising the warrior's heart "you have done us a great service. Will you come to my tent tonight?"
Cooper raised an eyebrow. This one always slept alone.
"You come to mine!" he said with a smile, which she returned.
"Is that it?" she asked.
"There's one more thing to be done..." he replied, turning to the native delegation.
Slowly, with great solemnity, holding the remains of the heart high, he limped across the gap between the two groups. When he reached the wizened, yellowed leader of the natives, he offered the heart.
"Our thanks for sharing with us your greatest strength!" he said solemnly, "We leave you this portion, that your people may remain strong and strike fear in the hearts of our enemies, for after this day, your enemies are our enemies!"
"We thank you for your generosity!" the scarred one said, "We declare ourselves friends of the skinless ones! Let any who wish to harm our friends know that the people of the Kanak are their enemies!"
"Will you visit our village?" Cooper asked as the scarred one ate with relish from the heart and passed it to his right.
"We will come when the light has gone from the sky three times." the old one said, "First we must give our fallen hero his due."
"It is well!" Cooper replied.
"What of your fallen one?" the other asked.
"Let the insects and small, weak creatures eat it." Cooper spat, "It is not worthy of a warrior's honor! We will place a marker on this spot to remind all of our shame, that it not be repeated!"
The other lifted its tail in approval.
Cooper started back toward his people, feeling light headed as the adrenalin faded and blood loss threatened to sap his strength.
"Somebody slap a bandage on these wounds so I can make it back to camp!" he said, through gritted teeth.
"What about Sanders?" the man who'd fired his blaster asked, "We can't just leave him there!"
"You MUST leave him there!" Cooper hissed, "Come back tomorrow and put a marker on the spot, but DON'T TOUCH THE BODY! We must not be seen to eve appear to honor weakness! Even better, whoever places the marker should pretend to spit on the body."
"But that goes against everything we believe in!" the man said, "What kind of civilization will we have if we don't honor our dead?"
"Don't you get it?" the dark-skinned woman said, "We're not on our world anymore! We're on THEIR world, and if we expect to survive, we need to do it by THEIR rules!"
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