SHAKIRA - Give It Up to Me

SHAKIRA - Give It Up to Me

(Timbaland)
How you doin I’m Mr Mos I’m back
Timb are you on it
Timb are you on it
Give me some
Is this what you wanted?
Is this what you wanted?
Oh

(Lil Wayne)
Uh Wayne’s World
I’m the cashier I change girls
You can go up my crain girl
And Imma go down that drain girl
Hey ah midnight cowboy
My flow’s a dog…down boy
Hah my girl is a queen
And she do what I say and I say what I mean
Then I give it to her uncut
Shakira, swing those hips like nun chucks
Now, give it to me
I want the best and the best things in life are free

(Shakira)
You can have it all
Anything you want you can make it yours
Anything you want in the world
Anything you want in the world
(Give it up to me)

Nothing too big or small
Anything you want you can make it yours
Anything you want in the world
Anything you want in the world
(Give it up to me)

What you get is exactly what you give
Never really know until you try
We’re so ahead of this
Got this she wolf appetite that keeps me up all night
You know the way it works don’t be afraid to ask
www.musicloversgroup.com
Aim high when the target is low
FYI I am ready to go
People say men are just like kids
Never saw a kid behave like this

What you give is exactly what you receive
So put me in a cage and lock me away
and i’ll play the games that you want me to play

You can have it all
Anything you want you can make it yours
Anything you want in the world
Anything you want in the world
(Give it up to me)

Nothing too big or small
Anything you want you can make it yours
Anything you want in the world
Anything you want in the world
(Give it up to me)

Hey can we go by walking
Or do you prefer to fly
All of the roads are open
In your mind
In your life
Give it up to me

Hey can we go by walking
Or do you prefer to fly
All of the roads are open
In your life
In your life
Give it up to me

(Timbaland)
Hey lil lady
What’s your plan
Say lil mama
Come take a ride jump in

(Shakira)
Hey there baby
What’s on your mind
Don’t need approval tonight, tonight
Give it up

You can have it all
Anything you want you can make it yours
Anything you want in the world
Anything you want in the world
(Give it up to me)

Nothing too big or small
Anything you want you can make it yours
Anything you want in the world
Anything you want in the world
(Give it up to me)

You can have it all
Anything you want you can make it yours
Anything you want in the world
Anything you want in the world
(Give it up to me)

Nothing too big or small
Anything you want you can make it yours
Anything you want in the world
Anything you want in the world
(Give it up to me)

Happy Halloweeeen Day

My Resignation Letter

Dear Manager

I'm resigning with immediate effect -

The reason for my resignation is what I found in my garage this morning before coming to work.

What picture?

How to hipnotize a man!

How to hipnotize a man!

http://vili.us/hypno.html

20 Worst Names For Junk Food

20. Crap Chocolate Bars
Excellent for those who need something to wean them off their addiction to “2 Girls 1 Cup.”

19. Erektus Energy DrinkT
he can’s unique label design makes it impossible to take a sip without a dong hitting your face.

18. Mini-Dickmann’s
We might be able to overlook the words “mini-dick” in the title if the product didn’t look like, well…

17. Super Dickmann’s
Not content with popping mini boners into your mouth, Dickmann’s did themselves one better.

16. Chocolate Log
You should always examine your chocolate logs to make sure you are getting enough marshmallow bits in your diet.

15. Ayds Candy
This casualty of the 1980s health scare once had the slogan “Lose weight with Ayds.”

14. Pee Cola
Serve warm.

13. Golden Gaytime Bars
Stop into any New Zealand convenience store, ask for this sweet treat, and you’ll receive the keys to the men’s restroom.

12. Squirt Soda
Combining the unique taste of grapefruit and battery acid, Squirt’s motto was once “Tastes so good, you’ll wanna Squirt every day.”

11. Gushers Candy
If you don’t know what a gusher is, read this definition, preferably while sucking on one.

10. Big Nuts
The only one to blame for product names like this is society, for having soooo many testicle euphemisms.

9. Sips Megapussi Chips
Apparently, “pussi” means “bag” in some sexist-ass language.

8. Finger Marie
Makes you wonder, “Why can’t Marie finger herself?” Is she perhaps missing all of her fingers?

7. Asse Chocolate
We don’t read any languages, so we’re just going to assume this chocolate is really for your mouth.

6. Dwight Yoakam’s Macaroni Mouth Poppers
FUN FACT: It’s impossible to find a macaroni nugget that doesn’t resemble the elephant man-like face of Dwight Yoakam.

5. Choco Crack Cereal
Sonny from Coco Puffs has no idea the thrills he’s missing.

4. Filipinos
We can’t decide what’s worse, the racial insensitivity of this product name or the fact that Filipinos can now be considered unhealthy.

3. Pecker
You have to wonder about a candy that resembles something your doctor swabs you with.

2. Doobys cereal
When those crazy kids try to steal this mascot’s cereal… well, he’s actually pretty chill about it.

1. Cream Collon
The ultimate irony is that these treats contain fiber.

New Car operating System (joke)

Bill's company made software to run a car.
Bill was taking a test ride of the car.
Suddenly a truck came from opposite side.
Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes.
A pop-up window appeared asking, "Are you sure you really want to stop?"
Before Bill could enter "Yes", there was a crash and the car caught fire.
In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door.
He started shouting "F1! F1!" but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams.
Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane.
A message appeared on the screen, "
An illegal function is performed.
All the window-panes of the car will be closed."
Poor Bill died.
Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him, "You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life.
You always stole the code from others.
We are going to send you to hell." Bill pleaded, "I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please."
Messengers of death smiled inwardly and permitted him a computer, but with no Alt, Ctrl and Delete keys on the keyboard.

Cranky Old Man

What do you see nurses? ..... What do you see?
What are you thinking ..... when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man ..... not very wise,
Uncertain of habit ..... with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food ..... and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice ..... 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice ..... the things that you do.
And forever is losing ..... A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not ..... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding ..... The long day to fill?
IIs that what you're thinking? ..... Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse ..... you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am ..... As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding ..... as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten ..... with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters ..... who love one another.
A young boy of Sixteen ..... with wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now ..... a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty ..... my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows ..... that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now ..... I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide ..... And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty ..... My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other ..... With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons ..... have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me ..... to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more ..... Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children ..... My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me ..... My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ..... I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing ..... young of their own.
And I think of the years ..... And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man ..... and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age ..... look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles ..... grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone ..... where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass ..... A young man still dwells,
And now and again ..... my battered heart swells
I remember the joys ..... I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living ..... life over again.

I think of the years, all too few ..... gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact ..... that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people ..... open and see.
Not a cranky old man.
Look closer ..... see ..... ME!!!

Tips for a Happy Marriage

Red Skelton's tips for a Happy Marriage:

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, then comes good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Ontario and mine is in Tucson.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me "In the Lake."

8. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said "No, jump in!"

10. Remember. Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked "What's on the TV?" I said "Dust!"