Tower of Pisa Gets Necktie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=i_2SsTfTXoI

the children

AGE APPROPRIATE

AGE  APPROPRIATE
The older we get...
ONE.
Recently, when  I went to McDonald's, I saw on the menu that you could have an order of six, nine, or 12
Chicken McNuggets.  I asked for a half dozen
nuggets.  'We don't have half dozen nuggets,'
said the  teenager at the counter.  'You don't?' I  replied.  'We only have six, nine, or 12,' was the reply.  'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?' 

'That's right.'  So I shook my head and ordered
six McNuggets. 
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
TWO.

I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.  I picked up one of those  'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.  After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider,' looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.  Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'  I said to her, 'I've changed my mind; I  don't think I'll buy that today.'  She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things I'd bought and left.

She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE.

I saw a woman at work putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. 
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'

(Keep shuddering!)
FOUR.
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.  'Do you need some help?' I
asked.  She replied, 'I knew I should have
replaced the battery to this remote door
unlocker.  Now I can't get into my car. 

Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?' 
'Hmmm, I don't  know.  Do you have an
alarm, too?' I asked  'No, just this remote
thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.  As I  took the key and manually
unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'

(PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself!)
FIVE.
Several years ago, we had an intern who was none too swift.  One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper.  What do I do?'  'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. 

With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

(Brunette, by the way!)
SIX.
A mother calls 911 very worried, asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room -  the kid had eaten ants.  The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine.  The  mother says, 'I just gave him some ant  killer...'  Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'

(Life is tough.  It's even tougher if you're
stupid!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you, too.  Don't  laugh...it is all true!

Perks
of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run -
anywhere.

04. People call at  9 PM and ask,"Did I wake you?"

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won't wear out.

08 You can eat supper at 4 PM.

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your
stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator
music.

14. Your eyes won't get much
worse.

15. Your investment in health
insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate
meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your
friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is
finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

20. And you notice these are all in BIG PRINT for your convenience. 

WHAT IS AN INFIDEL ?

WHAT IS AN INFIDEL ?

This is a true story and the author,

Rick Mathes, is a well-known

leader in prison ministry

******************************

The man who walks with God always gets to his destination. If you have a pulse you have a purpose.

 

The Muslim religion is the fastest growing religion per capita in the United States, especially in the minority races!!

 

Last month I attended my annual training session that's required for maintaining my state prison security clearance.

 

During the training session there was a presentation by three speakers representing the Roman Catholic, Protestant, and Muslim faiths, who each explained their beliefs.

 

I was particularly interested in what the Islamic had to say. The Muslim gave a great presentation of the basics of Islam, complete with a video. After the presentations, time was provided for questions and answers then it was my turn. I directed my question to the Muslim and asked:

 

'Please, correct me if I'm wrong, but I understand that most Imams and clerics of Islam have declared a holy jihad [Holy war] against the infidels of the world and, that by killing an infidel, (which is a command to all Muslims) they are assured of a place in heaven. If that's the case, can you give me the definition of an infidel?'

 

There was no disagreement with my statements and, without hesitation, he replied, 'Non-believers!'

I responded, 'So, let me make sure I have this straight. All followers of Allah have been commanded to kill everyone who is not of your faith so they can have a place in heaven.

Is that correct?'

 

The expression on his face changed from one of authority and command to that of a little boy who had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

 

He sheepishly replied, 'Yes.'

 

I then stated, 'Well, sir, I have a real problem trying to imagine The Pope commanding all Catholics to kill those of your faith or Dr. Stanley ordering all Protestants to do the same in order to guarantee them a place in heaven!'

 

The Muslim was speechless! I continued, 'I also have a problem with being your friend when you and your brother clerics are telling your followers to kill me!

 

Let me ask you a question:

Would you rather have your Allah, who tells you to kill me in order for you to go to heaven, or my Jesus who tells me to love you because I am going to heaven and He wants you to be there with me?'

 

You could have heard a pin drop as the Imam hung his head in shame.

 

Needless to say, the organizers and/or promoters of the 'Diversification' training seminar were not happy with my way of dealing with the Islamic Imam, and exposing the truth about the Muslims' beliefs.

 

In twenty years there will be enough Muslim voters in the U.S. to elect the President!

man with no face

Mohammad Latif Khatana was born in 1980, in Kashmir, India as a beautiful, healthy baby. The only unusual thing about him was a small lump on his face. Over the years, the insignificant lump continued to grow and form huge flaps and creases across all over his face, eventually impairing his vision and turning him into a monster for the rest of the people who consider themselves normal… Mohammad Latif Khatana is the youngest of his family and he has two brothers and three sisters, who do not suffer from the same condition as he does.

Over the ears, Mohammad got the nickname of “the man with no face” because he currently looks worse than a shar-pei… The folds in his face took his eyesight, and his capacity to provide from himself and his family. He declared that his mother still cries every time she sees him, and does not understand why her youngest child has to suffer from such a horrible curse.

But what is the cause of this terrifying, strange disease? The man with no face suffers from an infection with a strand of the human papillomavirus. Norrmally, our defense system is more than capable to fight of this virus, but unfortunately, Mohammad’s organism suffers from a rare genetic disorder that left him unable to fight off the infection. Below you can see a picture of the culprit virus.

Growing up was harsh on the poor child due to the fact that some people are simply incapable of accepting that looks aren’t everything, and it’s the character of the person that should count. Hence, Mohammad, who sadly lost his left eye when he was 8 years old, and everyone used to pick on him and call him a “one-eye freak”. And if you’re thinking to yourself that kids are normally mean, we’re gonna tell you that adults are even worse.

As an adult, the man with no face struggles with discrimination, and he even declared that:

I’d love to do an honest day’s work like a normal man providing for his family. It would make me so proud, but no one will give me a chance. I have to beg and hope people take pity on me so that I can feed my family.

Sadly, when people pass him by indifferently it’s a firtuate event, because most people spit on him as they walk by… (very mature of them…):

“Three young girls walked past me once and they spat at my feet and ran away with scarves covering their mouths. I was so embarrassed. “I was shocked at how cruel they were. I felt very depressed for days. But I had to pick myself up and get on with it.”

You might think that a man such as Mohammad Latif Khatana is very lonely, and you’d mostly be right… but luckily, four years ago, the man with no face met the man of his life, Salima. You can imagine how hard it was for his parents to find a wife for him, but Salima was perfect. She was born with a missing leg. Practically, they believe they were born incomplete just to find each other and be complete as one. They married in a traditional Muslim summer ceremony with 400 guests, in August 2008, and have been very happy ever since.

Latif, now lives hidden from plain eyes, high in the mountains with his 25-year-old wife Salima, in Tuli Bana, in Jammu and Kashmir. Due to his disability, Mohammad is forced to travel to Srinagar over a period of four months in order to beg and provide money for his family. And by family, we don’t just mean his wife, we also mean a yet unborn son. Salima is seven months pregnant with their first child, but they both fear the worst:

I feel a little normal now I have a wife, a little more complete than I did before. And now that she is pregnant with our first child I am even happier. No matter how I look I am a happy man right now… I cannot wait to be a father and have some happiness in my life. But I worry every day and pray my child is not born like me

You may be wondering why Mohammad hasn’t seen a doctor for his condition… well he did. Eight years ago, one of his brothers sold a piece of land to fund Mahammad’s trip to a doctor, but sadly, the doctor said that nothing can be done.

“And now there is so many veins going through my creases that surgery would be too dangerous. I have lost all hope of help. This is how I’ll look forever.”

See more pictures of the man with no face below:

Read more: http://www.vyperlook.com/odd-strange/man-with-no-face#ixzz29Kt9e8Gg

TWINS in Iran

toilet of world