British English vs Malaysian English

British English vs Malaysian English Who says our English is LOUSY? Just see below – Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-point, effective etc……… hahaha.. is true oh~!!! WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS •Britons: I’m sorry, Sir, but we don’t seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you. •Malaysians: No Stock. RETURNING A CALL •Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago? •Malaysians: Hello, who page? ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY •Britons: Excuse me, I’d like to get by. Would you please make way? •Malaysians: S-kew me WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY •Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me. •Malaysians: No-need, lah. WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION •Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door? •Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar? WHEN ENTERTAINING •Britons: Please make yourself right at home. •Malaysians: Don’t be shy, lah! WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE •Britons: I don’t recall you giving me the money. •Malaysians: Where got? WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER •Britons: I’d prefer not to do that, if you don’t mind. •Malaysians: Don’t want la… IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION •Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you’re coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue. •Malaysians: You mad, ah? WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE. •Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I’m trying to concentrate over here. •Malaysians: Shut up lah! WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU. •Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time.. Do I know you? •Malaysians: See what, see what? WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION. •Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment. •Malaysians: Die-lah!! WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED •Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened? •Malaysians: Wat happen Why like that…. WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG •Britons: This isn’t the way to do it here let me show you, •Malaysians: like that also don’t know how to do!!!! WHEN ONE IS ANGRY •Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me? •Malaysians: Sorry !?

More Signs That You're Out of College

More Signs That You're Out of College -- Your refrigerator holds more solid foods than liquids. -- You've lost the thread on your favorite soap opera. -- 8 a.m. means shower and shave, not wake and bake. -- You file taxes with more than three digits. -- You hear your favorite songs in doctor's waiting rooms and when you're on hold with the bank. -- You're not carded anymore for anything. -- You carry an umbrella. -- You now know there's no such thing as "looking mature." -- You get your news from sources other than ESPN and MTV. -- Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone's and Mad Dog. -- Doing shots and smoking cigarettes guarantees midnight dry heaves and a sinus attack instead of midnight skinny dipping and a Big Mac attack. -- You go from 130 days to seven days of vacation time. -- You actually eat breakfast foods -- at breakfast time. http://www.jokes.com/funny-jokes-about-kids/xkj35w/more-signs-that-you-re-out-of-college

Smoking Jokes

Smoking at Gas Station This lady was at the gas station pumping gas and smoking a cigarette when her arm caught fire. When the police arrived they shot her for waving a firearm. ===================================================================================================================== Gene Pompa: Ex-Smoker Weight Gain Next Prev I quit smoking cigarettes about a year ago. I gained 18 pounds. So, now I have to wear a lot of black so no one knows what a big hunk of pig I turned into. No matter what I do, I cannot lose this 18 pounds. It's really starting to kick my ass. I mean I have tried everything short of diet and exercise. ======================================================================================================================